October 4th, 825 - Omicron Lost
Chances are that if I let Maren decide over what I was to eat, I would have ended up with something greasy, something stuffed with sugar. Taking in some air, then exhaling it, I nodded. "I, yeah," I sounded, motioning with her to stand up. "And then they show up and are like 'Ha, you died while eating a sandwich!'"
Taking her by her hand, I lead her over to the central location of the ship: The canteen. When Nancy, Leon, Thallia, Maren and I lived here together, it was the canteen where we came together to talk and stuff. It was weird but comfortable. I was assuming Maren altered the environmental controls of the ship as it used to be warmer. I always had the ship emulate the warmth of Curacao, just like on the Apahanta. The scent as well. Right now, however, with the weird feeling in my bones, I wasn't paying much attention to it. Maren never liked the hot climate, and in our first days on the ship, she was actually sweating like a pig because of it. Later, after having lived on Curacao with me, she had learned how to deal with it. Moving behind the counter with her, we looked what was still around in the food crates and boxed in the cooling room. "Got something," I said and hid two instant rations of potato wedges behind my back, smirking widely at her. She would like it, I knew it.
October 4th, 825 - Omicron Lost
Admittedly, it was these moments that reminded me of why Maren and I were a couple, apart from the entire if I break up with her, chances are I will die very soon after it-thing. Moments like these were rare around that time, given I only rarely got to see her. Maybe it was the fact that we were afraid of something that could happen that reminded us of the basics of us being together. I don't know.
I pushed her against the counter, only using my front as I continued to hide the good stuff behind my back. Keeping her there in place with my legs left and right from hers, I placed a kiss on her lips while moving my hands slowly towards the counter, placing the rations on the surface. Moving a step back, I allowed her to turn around to look at what I just put there. To be fair, I didn't think, in that moment, that Valery could have told her right from the beginning what it was. But I guess Valery and Maren had a playful relationship sometimes as well, so she probably didn't tell her beforehand. "Call me cheesy, but whenever I see those, I need to think of you and our first date."
It was, to be perfectly honest, one memory I kept as a treasure. It was more than two years ago, back when I was still with the Core. The Apahanta was patroling the Omicron Lost system, and we picked up Maren's Switchblade on our sensors, heavily damaged by something I don't remember anymore. I think it was her just being a clumsy fuck close to the asteroid ring around Delta's central sun. I gave her permission to enter the ship, and since I had a few talks with her via audio comm only, I moved down to the hangar to welcome her. Then I lead her to my room to talk with her. For two hours, we just sat there and talked. Later I invited her to a date, and that date was exactly at the same place. I believe she told me about her cardamine addiction back then, and that she killed someone called Leere. She was in an emotional condition and I believed she wanted some comfort. So we ate these instant rations in my room, drinking bottled water and she told me about her being unable to become pregnant. She was so frustrated and emotional that I offered her a hug. I told her I would find a way to have her have a child. And I looked at her, noticing how she looked at me as if I was bringing the light back into her life, and I told her I would give her the child. And she remained in my room for the night. She was 27 back then, if I remember correctly, and it was her first time.
Was it a mistake I made back then? I often consider it as one. Maybe I would have managed to escape from the Core without her help. Maybe I would have been able to deal with Yoshida without her help. Maybe I wouldn't have been forced to be hostile with the Lane Hackers and Auxesia back then. I often imagine how the last two years would have went without her interference. Would I be still alive? Would I be on Curacao again, fucking three unmemorable women per week in hotels or restrooms of some night clubs? Probably. Would I love it? Yes. I still do it because of that. But I believe, despite Maren being a prick and a curse, it was her influence that prepared me to be who I am now.
I often think I am bordering paranoia when it comes to the safety of the people around me. My ship, my crew, my friends that are my family. Noel, Sombra, Leon, and yes, Maren. All the bad things that happened in my life, including the very influencing experience of having a Vagrant impersonating Yoshida to torture me for months and causing me to believe that reality was not reality anymore; I do believe I am better than I ever was by now.
As Maren turned to look at the rations, I hugged her from behind, feeling like it was something I needed to do in this moment.
October 4th, 825 - Location Unknown
In disbelieve, I glanced out of the windows. Stepping closer to them, I tried to find Moros and the Omicron Lost star, but they were gone. Everything was gone. "We've been moved!?" I asked her and adrenaline spread through my body. The surprise was big and definitely not welcome. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down again. There was nothing outside. Not a single star. Pitch black. Back then, I had a thought for a moment, about this having to do with Yoshida. Reality was falling apart in that moment.
I looked over to Maren. Was the simulation collapsing? The thought manifestated and I moved closer to Maren, simply wanting to hold her hand. If the simulation was about to collapse, I thought, Maren would vanish again, as Yoshida said she was dead. "Okay, let's try to remain calm. We knew they could kill us any time when we came here, so no need to panic now..."
October 4th, 825 - Location Unknown
The cloak dropped, the lights turned on. Maren was correct. We were in some sort of cavern. How did we end up in here? We should have noticed asteroids of that size, and how where the odds that we ended up inside one? Truth being told, it was not an asteroid. It was bigger. Way bigger. I tried to make sense of it. "How is this possible?" I wondered out loud. Still holding Maren's hand, I looked at the main screen. Simulation or reality? Was wondering about it worth it at all? I tried to understand. "We didn't see subspace or hyperspace, so we didn't jump or fall into a jump hole. The sensors would have warned us about huge asteroids with openings, so we didn't slip into an asteroid either. Maybe you are right and something moved us. Or this is an illusion. Can Valery verify this is the reality?" I asked Maren, giving her a flat look.