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I hate washing dishes.

I remember when Jane used to do that. She was a good housewife, but unfortunately we couldn't have children. She couldn't have children. The Khatris haven't had a single case of infertility in our family history, it couldn't have been me. "Go to an endocrinologist, go to an endocrinologist", she used to tell me. Me? And what about her? I think she was afraid of the result. I would have gone, but it does not befit a wife to tell her husband what to do. I think this was actually a matter of who was in charge, not children. I did have a mistress (or two? Nah, that one was just a whore) while we were married and I would understand if she wanted to argue about that, but this was something I was not guilty of. While at that, how can I have such an appetite if I am infertile?

I remember how the divorce started. Oh gods, I don't want to think about this, please spare me... I bought "bad lentils". Apparently they were too small. Woman, first you complain about GMOs and then you complain that the food is too small? Make up your mind! I wouldn't possibly remember how, but it evolved into an argument about kids. "If you are incapable, we can adopt", she told me. It still pains me to remember that word, "incapable". She could have said "If we can't have children" or if it really had to be me, something like "If you don't have any luck". But this was intentional, she didn't love me any more and she wanted to hurt me. A wife does not tell a husband that he is incapable, so I slapped her. I used to slap her lightly when she would overstep her bounds. It's my home and my wife, I can slap her. I'm not like those other husbands who beat their wives, I never hit her, I only slapped her lightly, just so she knows her place. I am a soldier, I only get orders from my commander. But this time, she continued looking at me spitefully. I remember when I fell in love with those sweet green eyes, but this time it was as if they belonged to a snake. I clenched my fist and hit one of them, and she fell down on the floor. Oh gods, why do you feed me these thoughts, give me something else... A second later, I was overtaken by guilt, remorse, regret and whatnot, and I think I had more pain in my soul than Jane had in her eye. I wanted to help her rise, but she shook my hand off. She looked at me with those eyes I once fell in love with. The left one had a bruise. What have I done!? Oh bloody hell, I've just broken a saucer. Now I'll have to clean up too...

I might have to buy a new one. It's the second I broke this week. I wonder if there's a discount in some supermarket... I should really hire a maid. An old and wrinkled one, so I don't get tempted. I shouldn't be with a woman for more than a night. Service to Blighty is my spouse now. Military service is the noblest profession for a man, it has been so in my family history and it should be the same for me. I have become a commodore, my father would be proud if he was still alive. The high command used to be closed for us who are not of British descent, I wonder what's changed. Maybe it's those Whigs who've just formed the government. Gods know I'm clueless at politics...

Ah, that's it, all done. Finally. Now let's see where to hire a maid...

I hate washing dishes.

It ruins my manicure. Maybe I shouldn't have spent all my inheritance on parties, now I could afford enough servants. They used to come for free before, but who knew the Council would win? Look at yourselves, peasants. You used to be poor, now you've won, yet now you are even poorer. Everyone is destitute. This is your new Gallia, are you enjoying it? Gallia didn't lose the war because Sirius was strong, but because of them. Perhaps they should be punished one day? No, I don't care. I shouldn't care, stress causes hair loss. I should just throw a party and drown myself in wine and all the problems will go away. But how will I finance it? I can get wasted with my wage, but drinking alone will even worsen the general melancholy in the air. And where's the glory in going to someone else's party because I am bankrupt? I suppose I could request a mission in the Taus and then rob some Bretonian or Kusarian merchant. It's the Taus, nobody relevant will notice, plus the crew gets a share too. Or steal cardamine from an Outcast and then resell it. I could keep some for the party. No, actually I'm not fond of the side effects. Perhaps there is another, more legal way...

Pierre Vaillant has become a very powerful man. And he has great hair. I wonder if he too likes embracing other men... I dislike how some people can still be very judging about this. Sure, loving women is pleasant, but if the horizons double, shouldn't the pleasure too? Of course, one shouldn't go to extreme lengths here. I remember when I went to extreme lengths once, fortunately only in a dream. I will never even think of embracing an animal after that. Though, I probably would have tried in reality if nobody was looking did I not try in a dream. More of a nightmare. Beurk! Never again!

I know. I will get a loan and organise an orgy. Ha! What a pun! There sure will be a lot of organisation there. No, it's bad. Delete memory. Well, it's not working. Doesn't matter, I'll forget after enough wine -- and a good orgy. I'll get a loan, throw an orgy and invite Pierre. Then I'll see what he likes and what he doesn't. What if he doesn't come? Well, all life's a gamble. And I'm already in enough debt that this I won't even notice. I'll probably get killed by some lowly Maquisard before I have to pay off any of it. It's how life should be lived: to its full potential, but not long enough to become stale. Like a cannonball, Balzac would say.

Ah, that's it, all done. Finally. I might as well not wash them any more. The worst dirt can do to me is kill me.

I hate washing dishes.

But go Liz! Look at you! A prime minister who does her own washing up. Keep up like that and you'll grow up to be someone important one day, I think!

Stop it, you're being silly. There's work to be done and you haven't deserved to rest yet. Come on, hurry, wipe that speckle off! I bet most of them in the Parliament, even the commons, the corrupt self-proclaimed representatives of the people they are, have servants to do this for them. Me, I'm a self-made person and what I can do myself, I will. A hard-working and independent woman, too! God, if I didn't know better, I would have started a revolution! But no, that wouldn't be expedient, let alone ethical. Ancient France lost its hegemony after one. Because of it, I'm sure. Maybe that's why they are so arrogant now, used to be on top, but now frustrated because they aren't. Breaking the system does just that: breaks the system. Stay away from revolutions; embrace reforms. I need to bring Swords into Ploughshares back to the Parliament. Unfortunately, my power depends on my coalition with the Royalists, who will never allow it. They need to be rid of so I can ally with the Social Democrats. Dig something up on Mountbatten and Templer so I have an excuse to replace them with Whigs? No, no, they might fight back and dig up something on me... and there's A LOT I've done in the past that I'm not proud of. Maybe... maybe just let them do as they like. With Bretonia's current state of affaird, their policies are self-destructive. Foreign policy, foreign policy, always foreign policy, but when the people need them, they are gone -- their interests are only foreign. Let them lead their aggressive foreign policy in the Taus and distance myself and the Whigs from it, that's what I'll do. And when it fails, which it undoubtedly will, publicise the crisis and hold snap elections. The Royalists will lose big and the SDF wil gain much. Then form a coalition with the SDF, place their members on key positions: Foreign Office, Defence, Office for Trade and Industry. Graham has been competent in the Exchequer, he will stay. Hm... Maybe not the Foreign Office if the Whigs want it, but I need a socialist in the MoD to tame military spending -- after all, we don't really need a strong military as long as Liberty's protecting us.

No, no, not yet, the queen won't allow it. She purged the Parliament from opposition in 816 using the BAF, she might do it again. I'll need someone loyal on the Somerset, or at least someone who cares more about the law than the whims of Her Royal Arseness. This new guy Dhatri, Khatri or whatever he's called, he might be useful. He's Indian, so he can't be a Royalist sympathiser. I should probably invite him one day and mention it was me who dissuaded the Royalists from blocking his promotion.

Or not. It all seems too risky. What if the queen calls for the dissolution of the Parliament, Khatri ignores, but some other admiral doesn't? Then we have a civil war, which I of course don't want, so I will resign. And then I am forever undone, as well as the chance for reform. Or maybe...

Bloody hell, I've been washing this pan over and over. I should really get my mind together one day. Maybe try yoga... Come on, just this mug and then I can go back to work.

Ah, that's it, all done. Finally. Wait, where was I? Yoga? No, I haven't spent the last 15 minutes thinking about yoga... I guess I'll remember later, I have to go read through that 400 page fish preservation law for Gaia, a planet we don't even control... The Greens must be trying to abuse someone's lack of attention to smuggle some clause under our noses. Well, not mine!