Discovery Gaming Community

Recently the remnents of Gallic Royalists have been causing a rukus (and NOT the fun kind) for our dear Baffin. I have come to the conclusion that the only logical explanation for these Irritable Gauls is also the most obvious: They are time travelles from our past. To lay out my case, I present the following arguments in reverse-Skittles order:

Contention Strawberry: Time travel is impossible, but just because it can't happen doesn't mean it doesn't happen. One of the theories of the origins of the sacred tome was that its author was actually a time travelling anthropologist from the future. Seeing as the Pricipia speaks with authority on its nonsense, anything it openly questions must be the truth.

Contention Orange (MOST IMPORTANT!): The belligerent Frenchies are convinced their king is still alive. This was true in the past, not true today, possibly true in the future (I'll let you know when I get there. Note to future me: don't forget this! Also find a can opener for the peaches! THEIR INSOLANCE WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED). Therefore the present is the only time they couldn't possibly be from.

Contention Green Apple: Having conclusively proven the Royalists hail from the future or past, I conclude the past is more likely. After all, the time Traveler from the future gave us the Principia Discordia in the hopes of building constructive disorder. By the inverse (converse?) of the Law of Negative Reversal, a force that promotes destructive order must hail from the past.

Contention Lemon: This is the weakest of the Skittle flavors. If anyone wants my lemons, please send a pre-addressed stamped envelope to this address and I will be happy to send them along.

Contention Grape: These souls are out of time and are to be pitied. Perhaps the Goddess will, in her infinite indifference, allow them to return to their point in the timeline to smooth things out. Or maybe they have been sent to stir the pot and see what comes to the surface. In any event, knowing their motivations are a question of when rather than what will hopefully facilitate greater discourse and allow a return of civility and degeneracy to return to our fair system.