10-10-2023, 02:17 AM
ENCRYPTION: None
SENDER: Tobias "Abschaum" Hull
RECIPIENT: Artifact Collectors
SUBJECT: A Banger Deal
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Hello, dear potential customer!
Are you in the market for a new, shiny alien artifact? Then, boy oh boy, do I have an offer that you cannot refuse! Discovered by yours truly, fetched from the depths of the Omicrons, the most well hidden artifact found by anyone to date!
Here's a little sneek peak at this absolute beauty of an artifact that's sitting in cargo hold right now:
Of course, it has been tested by top safety experts in the field, who have officially given it the status of "derelict". However, with a little encouragement, this thing can produce visual marvels! Place it in a sufficiently dark room, encourage it, and enjoy the most beautiful light show anyone in Sirius has experienced yet!
I am confident that this highest-quality artifact will fit perfectly in your collection, and for the low, low price of 100.000$, this shiny new toy could be yours! Remember, this is the only one of these artifacts that exists, so get it now while it's available, lest you regret it!
Here's a little sneek peak at this absolute beauty of an artifact that's sitting in cargo hold right now:
Of course, it has been tested by top safety experts in the field, who have officially given it the status of "derelict". However, with a little encouragement, this thing can produce visual marvels! Place it in a sufficiently dark room, encourage it, and enjoy the most beautiful light show anyone in Sirius has experienced yet!
I am confident that this highest-quality artifact will fit perfectly in your collection, and for the low, low price of 100.000$, this shiny new toy could be yours! Remember, this is the only one of these artifacts that exists, so get it now while it's available, lest you regret it!