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Full Version: The Logs of Angrinus
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The Sarissa had been desecrated from prow to engine cowling. Offensive writing written in all capital letters had been scrawled across every inch of her hull. Horrible gestures of most profound nature were drawn crudely here and there. It was as if a child with tourrette syndrome had painted on a ship with yellow, white and red crayons. Her fine prow had been forged into a fist, the middle finger stubbornly pointed upwards.

Her captain stood in the view screen, his lips parted in an inhuman snarl, lines of spittle dripping down his lips. His eyes were bloodshot from the constant wide-eyed expression he held in order to show disdain at everyone he met. Veins popped from his throat, ready to burst at a moments notice.

ErrrCaptain Angrinus of the MNS-Asperitas.We woulderrr.What the hell are you doing in Liberty space? The captain of the LNS-Salem asked meekly. His mere Siege Cruiser was no match for the armored Outcast capital ship.

Angrinus took a deep, angry breath, his eyes bulging slightly. He then opened his mouth, bellowing out, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- The Asperitas engines lit up, the flames belching from the back like the rockets of old. The ship swiveled, aiming its prow at the Salem.

SIR! Theyre on a collision course, Screamed the helm.

Bring us around, dammit, The captain cried.

Angrinus was now frothing at the mouth; his hand was thrust in a fist, pressing his knuckles against the camera. His middle finger flicked up, hitting the recorder with a loud crack.

The fist of the Asperitas was now coming at them, the ship entering cruise to bring more power to its ram. It was demonically agile, correcting its course in order to hit the smaller Salem.

-************************************* YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Angrinus finished his howl, the prow of the Sarissa hitting the Salem with bone-shattering force. The ships shields exploded, the generator blowing out instantly. Like a meek twig, the fine vessel broke in half, both sections slipping past the hull of the ship. The Asperitas flew through the explosion as if this was an action movie. There were no survivors. And none could say that thiswasnttotallyfreakingAWESOME!
The bleak clarity of Liberty was overwhelming. It was as if it hated where it was, so it had a very decent view of Bretonia, Kusari, Rheinland, and the Omicrons. Stupid Liberty. It was enough to anger him.

The Asperitas had undergone modifications after the 'battle' with the Salem. The slivered cruiser's main cannon was now set into the fist, looking like a fancy ring set on the index finger. The engine was added to the hodge-podge of other collected engines set into the cowling. The ship was now a bastardized culmination of war trophies ruled by one incredibly angry man.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE, YOU LOSERS?!" He bellowed at his crew.

They didn't wince nor feel fear at his anger. Instead, as one, they screamed, "LIBERTY, YOU DOUCHE!" Angrinus nodded at that. How could he forget? Perhaps it was that aneurysm he suffered two weeks ago. He fondly, yet still angrily, looked back at that event. The LPI thought it would be funny to try and board his craft. They met a sullen Angrinus on the bridge, a broken tequila bottle in one hand, and a very phallic-looking object in the other. There were no survivors. But sadly, he had fought himself into an aneurysm. He was resuscitated in time and immediately punched the man who brought him back, killing him instantly.

"SIR! SOMETHING BIG AND RETARDED ON THE SCANNERS!" A crew member shrieked.

"THEN RAM IT, GOD DAMMIT!" Angrinus screamed back.

"BUT IT'S GOING TO RAM US!"

Angrinus blinked. Then he raged.
Seconds after the crewman informed his captain, on the Aspertias, a bulky, almost unrecognizable ship came rocketing in with its cruise engines maxed out. It ripped its engines off a few metres outside of collision range, before careening headlong into the capital ship.

As it bounced past the heavier warship's bridge, the outline of a P-trans dug under so much armour, the very silhouette of the ship was altered, was visible. As it spun off in a random direction, the captain screaming unmentionable profanities, the reason for the heavy armour became apparent; the ship lacked all but the most basic shielding.

Hell! Even that collision had reduced it to nill, the lack of blue coating revealing a completely yellow ship beneath it, aside from the red trimmings and decals.

The transport could easily be confused for a destroyer in its current state, weapons bristling off every which way, stamped with the logo of a very round, very angry face. Further more there was a strange item perched atop the bridge, massive arrows painted on said control deck, pointing to it with the words "F***NUGGET LAUNCHER."

It quickly regained control, pivoting up and dancing to come alongside the Aspertias before killing its engines.
"WHAT THE **** WAS THAT!?" Angrinus screamed at the top of his lungs.

"IT WAS A YELLOW ASTEROID!" A crewman roared, pointing out the window. Sure enough, there was a hideous yellow....thing. "ORDERS?!"

"RAM THE *****!" Angrinus cried. He then punched a red button, which opened a compartment for another button. He punched that, too. Another compartment opened. This one at his crotch. He slammed his hips into it. Another compartment opened. This one at his face. With enough force to shatter the button, the engines started, swiveling the ship to smack the offending ship with its prow.

The newly mounted siege cruiser 'bling ring' was pointed at the ship, point-blank. Angrinus opened a channel to the other ship.

"HEY, *******! WHAT'S THE BRIGHT IDEA?!" Veins popped from the point on his head where it hit the button. "OR WE BLOW YOU THE HELL UP!"
A vein riddled, bald, angry, bearded white man appeared on screen, his nostrils flared, and eyes open wide with rage. That was just the comm officer. The voice came from off to the side, the captain not yet wanting to show his face. He screamed over the comlink, his voice audible...it was only describable as being as ragey as the devil.

"I DON'T F***ING KNOW!" he roared, visible chunks of spit flicking across the screen, onto the comm officer's face. "I JUST LIKE RUNNING INTO S***! I ONCE TRIED RAMMING A F***ING SUN, MANAGED TO MOVE IT A FEW INCHES, TOO! BUT THEN THIS D***MUNCH OF A SHIP BURNED UP OR SOMETHING! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL THAT I CAN'T RAM YOU!?"

The ship seemed to be the epicenter of rage from Bretonia, the captain's accent audible in his rage filled words, the squabbling crew of what seemed to be disgruntled minions also bearing the distinctive tone.