06-14-2011, 07:15 PM
Greetings Sirs and Ma'am's!
I am but a humble and honest old trader, of the Junker sort, who go about my job and mind my own business. I was going from Bretonia to Rheinland to visit my little nephew Donnie. Today is his birthday, and his folks wanted to throw him a surprise party. Going through Leeds, I was pulled over for a routine check by two bobbies (BPA)Morgan.Hamilton and BPA)Clear.Horizons[CCD]) and a navy ship (HMS-Sunrise) close to Battleship Derby. Now, I don't know if they were bored or something is incorrect in their databases, but they told me I had the option of transfering 4 million credits to them or to get blown out of the sky and never see my little Donnie again. He has a broken leg, by the way. They told me I was guilty of hauling Gaian Wildlife in Bretonian space, but I couldn't understand that because my cargo hull was full of Super Alloy. They said they had evidence of me doing such a heinous deed at some other point in time, but I could not be presented with their so-called facts until after I paid them. Or I would get blown to bits. I chose the first, naturally. I am a reasonable and sensible individual, and I do not want to die.
When I was leaving the place, I thought to myself that something must be wrong with their computers or scanners, because I certainly do not recall transporting Gaian Wildlife inside Bretonian space. That would be in violation of the law, and as I said I am an honest and god-fearing individual, with no such intentions. Naturally. 'Oh, darn...' i thought to myself '...today it is just my turn to be smited with bad luck'. I mean it couldn't possibly be a deliberate act of injustice done by the bobbies and the sailor, could it? It must be a database error or something like that. I know all about that, my ship's log book goes missing all the time. But when I arrived in Rheinland only to realize that I had missed my nephew's (with the broken leg) party, I got really sad and upset. You know, us adults do not care much for such events, but you know how it is for a boy that age. They get so disappointed. Really, it can torment them when they are that young and innocent. So I thought to myself 'No, this mistake must be corrected. What if the BPA un-intentionally make a similar mistake with another trader, and he misses his nephew's surprise party?' I also thought how upset the poor BPA) officers would feel with themselves had they known they made my little nephew sad due to an error in their databases. I mean, I feel for you officers, I really do - when someone is having fun at your expense and you cannot do anything about it, I cry on the inside. I really do. So I figured it would be in the officers' best interest to set things straight too.
So, to summarize. I would like:
1) To reclaim the 4 million credits I paid to said officers.
2) To be compensated with the amount of 20 million credits for the gross injustice done to me. And my nephew.
3) A personal apology from the Queen to little Donnie for me missing his party. Or perhaps she can throw a party for him at her house? That would be great. Less cleaning for me and my buddies. Whichever suits her better, really.
4) Drinks.
Your friend,
Aldous McDuff
Captain of The.Betty
P. S. Demands are negotiable.
I am but a humble and honest old trader, of the Junker sort, who go about my job and mind my own business. I was going from Bretonia to Rheinland to visit my little nephew Donnie. Today is his birthday, and his folks wanted to throw him a surprise party. Going through Leeds, I was pulled over for a routine check by two bobbies (BPA)Morgan.Hamilton and BPA)Clear.Horizons[CCD]) and a navy ship (HMS-Sunrise) close to Battleship Derby. Now, I don't know if they were bored or something is incorrect in their databases, but they told me I had the option of transfering 4 million credits to them or to get blown out of the sky and never see my little Donnie again. He has a broken leg, by the way. They told me I was guilty of hauling Gaian Wildlife in Bretonian space, but I couldn't understand that because my cargo hull was full of Super Alloy. They said they had evidence of me doing such a heinous deed at some other point in time, but I could not be presented with their so-called facts until after I paid them. Or I would get blown to bits. I chose the first, naturally. I am a reasonable and sensible individual, and I do not want to die.
When I was leaving the place, I thought to myself that something must be wrong with their computers or scanners, because I certainly do not recall transporting Gaian Wildlife inside Bretonian space. That would be in violation of the law, and as I said I am an honest and god-fearing individual, with no such intentions. Naturally. 'Oh, darn...' i thought to myself '...today it is just my turn to be smited with bad luck'. I mean it couldn't possibly be a deliberate act of injustice done by the bobbies and the sailor, could it? It must be a database error or something like that. I know all about that, my ship's log book goes missing all the time. But when I arrived in Rheinland only to realize that I had missed my nephew's (with the broken leg) party, I got really sad and upset. You know, us adults do not care much for such events, but you know how it is for a boy that age. They get so disappointed. Really, it can torment them when they are that young and innocent. So I thought to myself 'No, this mistake must be corrected. What if the BPA un-intentionally make a similar mistake with another trader, and he misses his nephew's surprise party?' I also thought how upset the poor BPA) officers would feel with themselves had they known they made my little nephew sad due to an error in their databases. I mean, I feel for you officers, I really do - when someone is having fun at your expense and you cannot do anything about it, I cry on the inside. I really do. So I figured it would be in the officers' best interest to set things straight too.
So, to summarize. I would like:
1) To reclaim the 4 million credits I paid to said officers.
2) To be compensated with the amount of 20 million credits for the gross injustice done to me. And my nephew.
3) A personal apology from the Queen to little Donnie for me missing his party. Or perhaps she can throw a party for him at her house? That would be great. Less cleaning for me and my buddies. Whichever suits her better, really.
4) Drinks.
Your friend,
Aldous McDuff
Captain of The.Betty
P. S. Demands are negotiable.
![[Image: 220px-Barney_bust.jpg]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/mk/thumb/2/26/Barney_bust.jpg/220px-Barney_bust.jpg)