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+---- Thread: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread (/showthread.php?tid=125906)
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No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - S A D B O Y - 02-09-2015
http://discoverygc.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=125890
Tell me what you think.
It is a work in progress, and I plan for chapter two to come out soon. It's kept intentionally short so that people will actually read it.
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - TheSauron - 02-09-2015
Quote:"Right," said the quartermaster, inspecting his tablet, "that's the last of them. Eight-hundred and forty-five prime wildlife specimen, straight from Planet Gaia."
Quote:Eight-hundred and forty-five prime wildlife specimen, straight from Planet Gaia.
Quote:[...] wildlife [...] straight from Planet Gaia.
There's a special place in hell for people like him.
Other than that, I wish Ravis will get his ass kicked hard.
And besides those two, looks good to me. Looking forward to chapter two.
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - Galaxy Group - 02-09-2015
Good stuff, enjoyed reading it, and I hope you find that animal... Don't forget you need it alive
Keeping it short/releasing a bit at a time is probably good for keeping attention, and it's well laid-out, easy to read.
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - Chuba - 02-09-2015
never though u can rp ,but i guess i was wrong,i give it 7,99/10
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - S A D B O Y - 02-10-2015
Chapter two up.
Sorry for disappointing you if you were looking forward to some nature kicking man's ass, but I've decided to take another artistic approach to the situation.
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - Galaxy Group - 02-10-2015
Argh, cliffhanger... I can honestly say I really want to know what happens next!
Love the use of pics from an FPS, really do the job in the context (what game was it from btw?), and...
Quote: They impacted audibly into innocent boxes of apple strudel who were unfortunately caught in the crossfire...
...just
, great.I wasn't really looking for grammar, but "it's" should only be used for shortening "it is", you should use "its" for "its claws", etc. (sorry to be a grammar nazi), other than that, didn't spot anything major I'd change!
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - TheSauron - 02-10-2015
Well, this creature indeed caught my interest. Gimmie chapter 3, man, pls.
EDIT: Hey, why my first post was edited? 0:
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - S A D B O Y - 02-12-2015
Chapter 3 is away. Apologies for the odd choice of character picture, I had a friend doing the graphics for me and he kinda...yeah.
If it's a big problem, I'll remove it. Personally, I'm a little on the edge (i really dont think i like this image), but if it's your thing then whatever, I guess.
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - Shizune - 02-12-2015
(02-12-2015, 04:07 AM)S A D B O Y Wrote: Chapter 3 is away. Apologies for the odd choice of character picture, I had a friend doing the graphics for me and he kinda...yeah.
If it's a big problem, I'll remove it. Personally, I'm a little on the edge (i really dont think i like this image), but if it's your thing then whatever, I guess.
Edit: I'll tell you over PM
RE: No Church in the Wild Feedback Thread - tothebonezone - 02-12-2015
Looks straight out of an erotic visual novel Tal