Morph logs: Ningal - Printable Version +- Discovery Gaming Community (https://discoverygc.com/forums) +-- Forum: Role-Playing (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9) +--- Forum: Official Player Factions (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=60) +---- Forum: Nomads (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=190) +----- Forum: Slomon K'Hara (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=84) +------ Forum: Morph Logs (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=288) +------ Thread: Morph logs: Ningal (/showthread.php?tid=138321) |
Morph logs: Ningal - Kanzler Niemann - 04-19-2016 A bit short i guess .. Suggestions and tips welcome :3 http://pastebin.com/7dydqM07 RE: Morph logs: Ningal - Kanzler Niemann - 04-23-2016 Second log. http://pastebin.com/Tk4ruAR9 RE: Morph logs: Ningal - Nosferath - 05-16-2016 Hello there, and sorry for taking so long. Here's some feedback regarding your logs: -90% of your phrases begin either with "yours" or "ours". Try to add more variety. Also, saying "yours/ours" instead of "you/us/we/I" isn't mandatory in nomad speech, just a widespread occurrence. -Similar to the above, most of your phrases follow a "subject + verb + object" pattern. Try to be more descriptive, make your phrases more complete. Nomad speech does not mean you can't use normal grammar. -Whenever you have two sentences in one message, you merge them together; for instance "** 'yours' -seem- /diffrent/ by -darklings- 'yours' no ~treat~ 'ours' **(curiosity)**". Try to use "..." to separate them: ** 'yours' -seem- /diffrent/ by -darklings-... 'yours' no ~treat~ 'ours' **(curiosity)** (also, that phrase was pretty weird by itself). -In general, there's good use of visions, so keep that up. Please, post more logs, as it easier to identify errors in speech when there's a lot to work with. |