Morph logs: Ningal

[Kanzler Niemann]

A bit short i guess ..
Suggestions and tips welcome :3

http://pastebin.com/7dydqM07

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[Kanzler Niemann]

Second log.

http://pastebin.com/Tk4ruAR9

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[Nosferath]

Hello there, and sorry for taking so long. Here's some feedback regarding your logs:
-90% of your phrases begin either with "yours" or "ours". Try to add more variety. Also, saying "yours/ours" instead of "you/us/we/I" isn't mandatory in nomad speech, just a widespread occurrence.
-Similar to the above, most of your phrases follow a "subject + verb + object" pattern. Try to be more descriptive, make your phrases more complete. Nomad speech does not mean you can't use normal grammar.
-Whenever you have two sentences in one message, you merge them together; for instance "** 'yours' -seem- /diffrent/ by -darklings- 'yours' no ~treat~ 'ours' **(curiosity)**". Try to use "..." to separate them: ** 'yours' -seem- /diffrent/ by -darklings-... 'yours' no ~treat~ 'ours' **(curiosity)** (also, that phrase was pretty weird by itself).
-In general, there's good use of visions, so keep that up.

Please, post more logs, as it easier to identify errors in speech when there's a lot to work with.

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Slomon K'Hara - Faction Recruitment - Faction Information