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Comm ID: Malaclypse 666, Episkopos Prime, TAZ

Gentlemen,

This has gone beyond annoying. Consider this a "wakeup" call.

Today, the [TAZ]Flagheap and [TAZ]Fyre encountered three Outcast ID'd and IFF'd Advanced Trains in convoy through Baffin. They were requested politely to stop and chat, and to convey their respects to our Goddess Eris. Shamus and Fyre did not ask for Donations or anything untoward..

(For your future edification, the passwords for passage through and docking rights in Baffin are to wit:
"Hail Eris, Queen of Baffin!". These passwords will now be required of all vessels wishing to pass through Baffin; and we don't give a thud if the vessel is Zoner, Junker, Outcast, or the President of bloody Liberty!).

Now, the three OC Traders, (Mystik, Hotti, and Gluke) ignored all hails and requests completely. They were either too stoned on their own cargo, or were completely absorbed in their own cabbageness; but this behavior continued until they jumped into Coronado. Temple Guard Fyre jumped in pursuit, only to find that they had mysteriously "cloaked". (//Can you say: F1'd during an "engagement"..?)

Now, we TAZ don't give a toss what nasty cargoes you folks carry to and fro through our Home; but we definitely will be expecting the proper obeisances, or you will find Baffin is locked down to all Outcast traffic, due to the actions of a few ignoramuses who think they can to and fro as they please.

We have had cordial relations in the past; but our convenient thruway (lovingly known as "Hiway 23 Skidoo") and our hospitality will be abused no longer. I pray that the Council and other leading Outcasts can resolve this little matter without us having to lock down our system to future access.

Your move,
Malaclypse, for the TAZ
cc: TAZ Message Dump
cc: Council of Zoners

---Encryption In Progress---

---Priority: Alpha 5-4-ZHT---

---Scrambling Transmission Location---

Message Begins

Offices of the Taz, followers of Eris.

As President of Liberty, it is rare, if at all, that I will be passing through your pleasent system. However in the event the Liberty One, or it's sistert vessel the Liberty Two happen to pass your way, the captains will be instructed to do as you have asked.

Sovereign territory is, after all, sovereign territory. As we would be expected to bow to the Kusari Emporer as a sign of respect, we will do as requested as a sign of respect.

23's

President Powell


---Message Ends---

From: Imperial Compound, New Tokyo

Open Channel

The Emperor of Kusari does hereby proclaim that as a means maintaining the wonderfully friendly relations we have been able to keep with our western neighbors in Baffin, all Kusari ships transiting the Baffin system shall proclaim their reverence for Eris. A proper "Hail Eris, Queen of Baffin" shall suffice. Baffin is sovereign territory of the TAZ, and we fully recognize their sovereignty over the territory. It is their domain and a proper Konnichiwa and thanks is not to much to request. So I say, while I may personally not be present in Baffin often, if I find myself their I shall gladly proclaim "Hail Eris, Queen of Baffin."

Sayonaria and 23's.

*** Incoming transmission ***
*** Don Jaramago, Admiral Office, Corsica ***
*** Malaclypse 666, Episkopos Prime, TAZ ***

*** End of transmission ***

**Uplink Established**
*Traceroute Blocked*
%Connected........

**Incoming Transmission**
Comm ID - Col. Picaroon Diablo, Commander {SOB} / [BLS]
Target ID - Episkopos Prime, Malaclypse
Subject: Honorable respect.

Begin Transmission:

Hola Honorable Prime Episkopos,

As leader of the largest organized Cardamine smuggling operation coming out of Omicron Alpha, I wish to convey our sincere gratitude for the allowance of our Blue Lotus Syndicate [BLS] ships that pass through your respected space. I will inform all of my freighter ship captains of your humble request & will assure they follow it. How ever, I do not speak for the Council of Dons. I do however feel they may threatened by the way your message was worded & making threats to the Council usually ends badly for those who do so foolishly. You have to realize, they can not control the independent Outcast operators.
As far as BLS ships, sure, we'll acknowledge you, but be advised, if 1 of my ships is fired on, there will be hell to pay & I'll be bringing the marshmallows..

Now, for that pompous ass who leads the Liberty sheep...
I didn't see one mention of anything to do with Liberty in that transmission address Powell.. Best stick to worrying with your affairs before I take notion to donate some rather nice capitol warships & bombers to our good friends the Liberty Rogues, just to make you more occupied in your time.


Col. Diablo
SOB / BLS

Transmission Ends

' Wrote:As far as BLS ships, sure, we'll acknowledge you, but be advised, if 1 of my ships is fired on, there will be hell to pay & I'll be bringing the marshmallows..

Colonel Diablo:

No worries. I believe the BLS has a permanent "layover" suite designated on Pueblo Bonito due to their generous donations to our Temple Fund; as does the 101st, due to a HUGE donation from their retired Commander, Mia Bonello.

Don Jaramago:

We have positively identified the knuckledraggers in question, sir. They are untagged, which of course does not mean they may not be "clandestine" traders associated with other factions or "independents". How they got their hands on "cloaking" technology is still a matter for investigation. They are: Mystik, Hotti, and Gluke.

The solution seems much simpler than it appears, gentlemen. Either a) The Council can assist us in "enlightening" these unrepentant cabbages by directing them to present themselves to us with apologies and pay reparations of 10 Million credits each to the Temple Fund; or b) allow the TAZ and/or employed designates to do it the "hard way", without further consequences to the TAZ as the offended party.

And finally, to President Powell and Emperor Jien Kogen:

The Temporary Autonomous Zoners are grateful in extremis for your recognition of Baffin's sovereignty.

Eris is all verklempt!

Wait: I have just had sketchy reports, and am awaiting confirmation that these three returned to Baffin, still refusing to acknowledge hails, and opened fire on our Temple Guards Don Quixote and St. Gulik! Two of the three cabbages were boiled, and the third employed a "cloaking device" yet again.

I will update you when I have received the black box recordings. The thot plickens!

Edit: Pic's a bit small, but apparently Gluke and Hottie were boiled, and Mystik "cloaked".

Malaclypse,
for the TAZ

Incoming Transmission

Malaclypse, our relations have always been amiable in the past, and its deplorable to see this tone of response on the first mention of a problem that is slight at best. A bit more of a tactful approach may get you farther. However, I'm surprised someone with your experience in these types of problems is bothering with sending us a message in the first place. You, of all people, should know that no organization can fully control or regulate their independently-minded pilots, capital ship captains, and barge drivers.

The only way for us to force these ships to comply with your demands is to do so with a show and threat of force. Something you Zoners oft object to occurring in your systems and around your stations. Furthermore, we cannot waste military personnel to assure pilots accede to the demands of Baffin's enforcers. On the same hand, we know that there may be times when you must enforce your rules violently, and we don't and won't object to any Zoner efforts to protect one of their homes, just as we may have to fire on rogue Zoner ships flying about Alpha and docking our home planet without permission.

We will, of course, inform as many of these pilots as possible as to their expected behavior, and expect the same from you in return. But as you know, we have the same problem as you do concerning these people. If you ever find a way to guarantee their cooperation, I'd be very interested. Till then, there is not much we can do about this. Thank you for your time.

Don Fedele:

As to my lack of tact, I believe you'll find the tact you so desire in my response to Picaroon and Jaramango.

This little "incursion" by the "Three Stooges", as one of the Temple Guard called them, is merely an indicator of a rising indifference to the Sovereignty of Baffin and the Sanctity of the Temple of Eris Esoteric. While one ship might seem a "slight" matter, sir, I consider three vessels acting in concert, on multiple occassions, to be a bit more than that.

I would also point out that this is merely an indicator of a growing problem for my Flock. That of clueless domesticated primates who can't be bothered to notice anything but their own narrow tunnel realities. The line must be drawn, and this will be our "Maginot".

I thank the Council of Dons for its timely response. I acknowledge its position and its choice of "Option B". We will attend to the matter, and secure the necessary apologies and reparations. I assure you that the Holy Enlightenment of the Three Stooges will not take place in Alpha or any other Outcast ZoI.

Eris is now slightly amused, at least.

Regards,
Mal

COMM ID: Hannibal Bishop, Chief Arbiter of the Junker Congress
LOCATION: (scrambled)

Salutations, venerable Malaclypse;

The good agents of the Congress have brought this matter to my attention. Our relations have always been pleasant. While our goals and views may differ, the benefits we reap from these good relations are incalculable to us both. While we rarely should cross paths, our heavy transport vessels and Kusari propaganda runs have been known to take us through Baffin when the need arises. Additionally, there are simply some supplies one can find nowhere else than at a Zoner base, as is true for our homes as well.

Be assured that your simple requests will be followed by all members of the Congress. Additionally, we deny any affiliation with Junkers who do not bear our mark of distinction and fellowship, and as such they do not fall under our protection should you seek to... educate them about proper behavior as a guest. Finally, as a show of wishing to further good relations between Zoners and Junkers, feel free to request the services of Congress supply columns or salvage teams should any need for them arise.

To greater profit and power;

H. Bishop