02-19-2013, 03:06 AM
02-19-2013, 08:35 AM
Looks fairly interesting so far...
The first person view is very well used as an artistic factor. Everything in general seems good but it could use a bit more on graphic/display. Perhaps some colors or at least a nicer positioning in the page? Anyhow... keep up the good work, and don't worry, you'll get better.
The first person view is very well used as an artistic factor. Everything in general seems good but it could use a bit more on graphic/display. Perhaps some colors or at least a nicer positioning in the page? Anyhow... keep up the good work, and don't worry, you'll get better.
02-20-2013, 07:32 PM
I like what you've started. You're not a bad writer at all, as Johnathan said, your use of first person is very good as it gives fairly good insight into the character's mind and exposes a fair amount of his background without going into a long-winded exposition. Keep it up!
03-27-2013, 10:51 PM
....Not bad Garcia.....not bad...
-Khagan
-Khagan