Encryption: Rooibos
To: Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron, TBH
From: Captain Elizabeth Hall, BAF
Oh! What a macho posterior, monsieur Ladron! I've heard anecdotes about it -- it was the part of you our soldiers saw most often, as your back is less imposing in comparison -- even legends, Sir! What an honour to see it myself, an honour -- and a pleasure! Now, Sir, you must agree that I, too, possess some level of attractiveness, no? You did say I had good genes. Oh Sir, it wouldn't be the first time a war was fought over a woman's pretty face!
Here, have me, if that's what you wish. I invite you on a date. Instead of of a bit of dirty soil for your men, have me, all of me, all for yourself. But instead of with a fleet, come with flowers, and let's spend the evening together, alone. Am I not pretty to you, kind Sir? I'm certainly prettier than that amusing little something from the frontier called Anna Heinrich. And I haven't heard of your attacks against the Hessians recently. Surely it is not because you Corsairs lack bravery, I've lived among you on Sydney and I know you don't, so it must be something else... You aren't... bedding that creature, are you? You can't do both, you know.
Encryption: Rooibos
To: Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron, TBH
From: Captain Elizabeth Hall, BAF
Never mind, Sir, the deal is off, canceled, finished. It went "poof", just like your battleships. By the way, do you need any medicine? I know a good doctor, and I've seen your ship aflame. It would be a great pity if such perfect buttocks suffered a permanent injury.
Oh, and by the way, if you'd like the Bahama's lost tequila stock back, yes, the essence of the deal is off, but you can still come alone and bring me flowers. Bring me that adorable pink underwear, too, if it has survived. I hope we'll meet again soon, Sir. Toodle-oo!