Quote:Q1 - What brings you to request being in a potential Janitor position of our almighty temple. We will work you hard. What have you done to deserve sitting at the janitors console, and hold the almighty mop of cleaning?
Verily, I am unworthy to even consider staining the ethereal airs of the Temple of the Damned, nevermind sullying the impeccable mirror-bright finish of the immaculate Almighty Mop of Cleansing with my calloused fingers, but inasmuch as I rightly hold myself in such poor regard in comparison to those rightful residents of the hallowed halls of the Temple of the Damned, I would berate myself further if I failed to offer up unto munificent magnificences my lowly services in the removal of Tractor oil-slicks, ectoplasm and spilled kitty-litter
Quote:Q2 - What makes you a superior janitor to everyone else?
I have thirteen different recipes for household cleaning products that require little-to-no Zoner's Tears, meaning that more tears are available for cleaning the coffee machines. I also have Chronic OCD - an advantage in a janitor - and an empirical interest in chemistry. Have you tried combining the kitty litter with the ectoplasm to remove the tractor oil? Even if it doesn't work as a detergent, ghost-mayo makes a thoughtful gift.
Quote:Q3 - Do you expect to gain anything besides being being able to wield "THE HOLY WINDEX"?
It would be a sign of your philanthropy if I were allowed to use "THE HOLY WINDEX" as cologne. Or even mouthwash, as the dehydrating effect would enable me to maintain the proper puckered lips and glowering facial expression that is the hallmark of a true janitor.
Quote:Q4 - What responsibilities do you believe you'll have in the position. (Hint: Scaring away geese is 'not' one of these responsibilities)
I believe that the majority of my responsibilities would devolve around the use of The Mop, The Windex, the cleaning of The Coffee Machine and the careful inventorying of Tractor Oil Stains for future use in Rorschach Tests. In short, I would be doing anything that interferes with the process of brewing or drinking coffee.
Quote:Q5 - Out of the pool of Mortals - Is there anyone else you think would be a more experienced janitor than you?
It ill-behoves a man to bring up names of the past. The mere mention of their names carries with it towering cumulonimbii of emotional storms, that those of my advanced years recognise flashing through another's breast with a quiet nod, and perhaps a silent, respectful tear wiped surreptitiously away with a sleeve. Here I could mention names of such wonder and greatness that their deeds will be reverberating throughout the firmament eternally. As lowly as I am, I remember who slew Akumabito, and could tell you tales of their heroism and selfless devotion to The Duty. I could tell you the tale of the one who took a rabble of rowdy imported characters from another dimension, and with the hammer of experience on the anvil of RP, forged a mighty faction that stalemated the over-powered Kusarian war machine through grit, skills, dietermination and charisma....
But....
Any Janitor, any true Janitor must hold true to the ideals of ... of...*sniff*...of The First. Of he who came before us, and now is no longer with us. Not one aspiring janitor could or should ever consider themselves worthy of mentioning his name, never mind having the temerity to compare themselves to Him, or to even merely gain credence by the relative juxtaposition of their name with His in a sentence, but I shall do as My Lords have commanded. No true aspirant to the position of Janitor could ever look higher than The First Janitor. Igiss.