Frost walked through the door of Sunbucks and behind the bar, walking straight past the barman.
"Aren't you on duty sir?"
"Was." Came the curt reply. "No ship. No duty"
Frost grabbed a large bottle of single malt from the shelf, chucked a fifty on the bar and walked out towards a booth, wrenching the cork out with his teeth as he went.
"And what kind of asshole leaves a nuclear mine in my flight path anyway?"
Carina entered the cafe, smartly pressed uniform, shined black shoes, hair pulled tightly back in the neat bun and all. She strode proudly over to the counter, ordering another cup of that hot coffee she'd practically fallen in love with. Much as she hated possibly being lumped into the same stereotypical category of donut-munching fatsos some of the regular patrons around here seemed to be, it wasn't anything like the "coffee" she'd been used to on Houston.
She must've appeared even prouder than she thought, because the bored-looking waitress gave her an amused grin. "Back off your first patrol, eh?" the heavyset woman asked.
The smell of coffee and dounts, the peoples voices, the whole surrounding to her felt as she was at home.
She came to the counter, ordered a cup of coffee, with some donuts, and just leaned on the counter, watching the other officers in their seats, buzzing around like bees.
"Eh... It's kinda nice in here..."
She puts on a smile on her face, and starts drinking her coffee.
The cafe was peaceful and quite, when from out of nowhere (aka the entrance to Sunbucks) came a dozen LPi officers chatting noisily as their mobility suits struggled to keep this batch of officers upright.
Heads turned- who were these officers? Nobody had seen them before. But judging from the level of ease and calm they exhibited, they didn't seem to be recruits either.
The head of the bunch, clearly distinguishable by his physical size and Model X-950G mobility suit, had made his way towards the counter. After panting from exhaustion for a few minutes from the trauma of walking from the entrance to the counter, the leader of the group spoke quietly to the bartender, waving his flabby arms in a billion different gestures in an attempt to explain something. The bartender nodded, and left his position to the kitchen.
At this point, a resident officer of the Police Plaza by the name of Andy decided that these new guys, whoever they were, seemed suspicious. Were they really LPi? And if they were, then why didn't he see them often?
So Andy picked himself up, attempted to stand, and after balancing himself he waded his way towards the newcomers.
"Hey!" he yelled, "Hello there!"
"Oh, hi" replied one of the officers who turned towards Andy at a rate of 10 degrees per second. "Can I help you with anything?"
"You sure can, guy, by telling me- who are you guys?"
"Good question." said the newcomer, "who are we?"
"Yes, who are you guys?"
"One donut."
"One donut? What does that mean?"
"It means," explained the newcomer, "that I'll tell you for one donut. On second thought, make that forty five donut."
Andy began to sweat. One donut? that was too much of a sacrifice. One Libby maybe, but donuts are just too sacred. Nope, not the price to pay.
"You know, I don't have to pay you to make you talk, you know. I was ex-LSF, you know. And now I am a-"
At this point Andy was interrupted by the sounds of marching footsteps fading in from the distance. Emerging, like the uncloaking of a LABC. Footsteps in unison, rumbling throughout the cafe. Officers began to pause from their donut-licking activities in search for the source of the noise, which seemed to be coming from the kitchen.
And just when Andy was trying to figure out what was going on, the cafe's doors bust open and out came droid after droid, carrying the spoils of Sunbucks across- er- Sunbucks.
As the patrons stirred, seduced by the sight of container after container of Chocolate Donuts, Sugar Glazed Donuts, Burgers Coffee and such, and began rising from their chairs and stepping out of their seats staring at the droids and their cargo with uncontrollable lust, the newcomers began forming a perimeter around the droids, standing firmly in defense of the line of droids carrying the donuts out the entrance.
One of the officers, a short but round midget, decided to go for one of the droids. He ran and ran towards the line from droids screaming "DOOOONNAAAATTS!!!", and upon discovering that he wasn't actually that good on his feet, the midget got into a roll and instantly bowled towards the line of droids at ten times his running speed.
Swiftly, three of the new comers whipped out their tasers, gathered around the midget's projected trajectory and tased the little guy simultaneously.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" screamed Ben, the officer in charge. "Who the hell are you to tase one of my men?"
At this point the bartender came out of the kitchen, and told the officer, "Stay outta this Ben, these donuts are reserved for Halt personnel only."
"What the hell is a Halt?" screamed Ben, furious that these Donuts were teasing him, teasing him so badly, yet so out of reach.
"The Halt is a police gunboat, currently here for its second daily resupply of donuts- I mean, um, ammo, because we, um, shot a lot of criminals and have a brilliant arrest record.” Said the leader.
“Damn right skipper, we don done ‘em criminals justice” agreed one of the newcomers.
“Normally we resupply at the cargo dock, but there was a malfunction in the mechanisms today, more specifically Johnson got stuck in the gears after he dropped his creamy choco sundae delight in it, but we’ll get him out soon as the lipo crew arrives.”
“Gunboat… so you’re SWAT?” scoffed Ben, “Figures”
“No, we’re not SWAT.”
“Then why the hell are you in a gunboat?”
“Chief got tired of us trashin too many Libbies, said that we were better off tendin to a single gunboat. We decided that with our combined intelligence we would finally be capable of intercepting any criminal, so we named the boat the Halt.”
“So you catch any one yet?”
Maggie, another one of the newcomers: “Well sure, but not on pur-”
Skipper tases the fat woman before she finishes the sentence and finishes: “-pure instinct. Not on pure instinct, as we follow the protocols, don’t we?”
“Yep”
“We sure do.”
“I want those donuts! Why are the droids still going? Just how big is the Halt?”
“Your average gunboat, we cleared out most of the hold to make space for the donuts. Totally worth it by the way. ”
And with that, Ben snapped: “I want those donuts, and by god I’m getting those donuts!”
The other newcomers chimed in: “Yeah, you shouldn’t take all those donuts for yourselves.”
The Skipper assessed the situation. It seems that these people were about to obstruct the Donut line. Without Donuts, the crew of the Halt could become more efficient, some of them might even get promoted! No, Skipper couldn’t risk losing one of his men to the goody-two-shoes-side of the LPi. He had to make the ultimate sacrifice.
The captain stopped munching on his chocolate iced donut with sprinkled bacon, looked at it with a tearful eye, then with all the willpower he could muster, captain threw his precious donut across to the other end of the café.
“What you thought that’d distract us?” laughed Ben as he inched towards the donut, moving sideways carefully. The other officers began to stir.
When followed was complete chaos, as blob after blob of officer charged at the donut, trampling each other and tasing when necessary, fat hairy hands pushing fat meaty faces out of the way, those with better sumo-bodies ramming their way through, and through all this the newcomers- the crew of the Halt- stared at the skippa in disbelief- he violated the police code, he abandoned a donut, bad skipper.
Calmly, the skipper of the Halt began rolling his hands, and in the amazement of all crew of the Halt, a half-eaten donut made its way out from beneath the pile of officers, slowly but surely returning to its rightful owner through the help of fishing line. It was a glorious moment for all members of the Halt, as the commotion seemed to fade away into the background, the captain wheeled the Donut in until it was close enough to be picked up.
Though all deformed and mutilated and dirty from being trampled on, the donut was still in a recognizable state. And in one of the most touching moments of Sunbucks history, the skipper reunited with the donut- with his mouth. Though dirty from being dragged through the Sunbucks floor and salty from being sweated on by the officers, the Donut felt sweet in the Skipper’s mouth. Tears trickled from the corner of every crewmember of the Halt, and they began applauding, and cheering the name of the captain- “Henry, Henry, Henry!”
That however, did not mark the end of the conflict, as the local officers, disgruntled from piling up on top of each other, and pissed from realizing it was a setup, slowly got off each other and stared at the newcomers.
Officer Ben whipped out his laser, and so did some of the more agile of LPi, and said, “You. Donut. Me. Taser. Zap.”
The skipper quickly motioned for a defensive barrier to made between the other officers and the droids, who were still lifting more and more of the Sunbucks to the Halt: “Remember, boys. Just like I taught you, don’t let a soul through. Keep the donut line clear until they’ve finished loading em onto our boat”
“I’m with ya Henry” said Maggie, and the other crew of the Halt nodded. “Copy that.”
Andy got up after getting the crap trampled outta him, and looked at the standoff. Then he looked at the donuts, whipped his Taser out pointed it to the ceiling and screamed “THIS IS SUUNBUUUCKS!!!”
With that, the officers charged towards the line droids, footsteps rumbling through the floors, filling the recycled air with the battlecries of around 40 fat people.
“Hold that line, soldiers” muttered the Skipper as he reached into his holster, and took out another Donut. “hold that line” said the muffled voice as he bit into the tasty dough.
Ten seconds later, The officer Ben shouted at the top of his lungs to the charging officers, “Stop!!! Time out!” Exhausted from all the charging, every officer in Sunbucks fell onto the ground, flat on their face and took a nap.
Skipper watched, and tried to resist falling asleep himself. As luck would have it, the last of the droids had left the Cafe. “Time to go, muttered a tired Skipper, and he turned around towards the café entrance and got sucked straight into orbit around the Chief.
“Nice donuts, droids were a little nasty to my teeth though” said the chief as he let out a deafening burp.
No atmosphere? GTFO.
The propeller is the greatest invention of all time.
Officer Valent enters Sunbucks cafe looking sharp in his LPI uniform. He sits down and orders coffee and lots of donuts.
A shady trader comes up and says " Well look here a cop eating donuts. That's not a stereotype. Look at our tax dollars at work"
Valent stares down the trader while still casually eating his donuts.
"Well" he responds "How can I arrest scum like you on an empty stomach?"
"You can try putting down the donuts, Pig." the trader responds.Valent looks around the room and then fixes the trader with a malevolent stare.
"Why would I waste such a fine culinary delight on the likes of you trader? I can just wait for you in space and I am sure we can settle this then."
The trader laughs contemptuously. "You could never catch the likes of me. I am far too clever for a cop. Just keep sitting there eating your donuts"
Valent stares at the trader while silently weighing his options. He suddenly leaps up from the table, grabs the trader by the neck, and shoves the donut down his throat.
"Isn't that the finest donut ever made by man. Sunbucks sure has elevated this donut to an art form, Here have another and another. Tell me how much you like this donut." The trader gags on the donut and pushes himself away.
"Wow, That is good no wonder everyone comes to Sunbucks," the trader replies.
The stench of coffee assailed Thad Hoffmann's nose as he trudged into Sunbucks. Scanning the occupied tables he saw quite a number of LPI officers as well as other, slightly less undesirable patrons about the place. Forcing himself to unclench his fists, he walked stiffly over to the bar. It would take some getting used to, he thought, sharing space with the criminal scum he had worked so hard to get on top of. The coffee smell was even worse at the bar; Thad wrinkled his nose and motioned to the bartender.
"Got anything that isn't coffee here?" He enquired, his eyes watering.
"Well sir," the bartender replied, frowning slightly, "we have doughnuts."
A sigh escaped Thad's - currently pinched - features and he swallowed the fair array of expletives bubbling to the forefront of his thoughts.
"I'm not 'sir', just a rookie" he muttered, "Give me a glass of water - and the glass had better be clean."
It would take time, he reassured himself while he trudged over to a table as far away from people as he could, to adapt to this. Until then, he would just have to get used to this damn headache.
The recruit walks in sheepishly and goes up to the bar and sits down within the bustling crowd
"Oy, can I get 3 jelly-filled and some black coffee?"
"Sure, you seem nervous, you a recruit?"
He chuckles nervously "Yeah, just coming in, sort of an initiation process for the LPI isnt it?"
The man hands over the donuts in a bag and the coffee in its cup "For years iv seen LPI come in here as recruits, people who are very high up now, i hope you get up there with those ranks someday."
He raises his cup and smiles sipping it "thanks, and i hope you keep this job, thanks for the donuts, i'll be off now"
Recruit Officer Zeeroi Talbot has just finished a major patrol through Texas which involved a lot of action with the Rheinland Military. The kind of action most LPI officers hope to never encounter. After typing up his patrol report, and eagerly awaiting word of a promotion he heads into Sunbucks to grab a coffee and a well deserved doughnut.
Zeeroi: Hey there, one black coffee and a doughnut please, sir.
Bartender: No problem, you must be new around here if your calling me "sir", new recruit?
Zeeroi: Yep, I guess so, pretty new, just finished my 5th patrol, done my reports and I'm hoping to get promoted soon.
Three Navy officers walk in, they have a scruffy look about them, and their body language suggests they are looking for trouble.
Navy Officer 1: What do we have here? A new recruit? Coffee and a doughnut already? You really are destined for greatness among the ranks of the LPI. I can see that muffin top poking out over your utility belt.
Zeeroi: I'm just here on break, had a long day with Rheinlanders in Texas, doing your work for you, so cut me some slack and leave me be.
Navy Officer 2: Woahohh! This one has attitude! Don't you know who we are, Recruit?
Sergeant Jonas Valent walks in.
Jonas: and don't you know WHERE you are? This Sunbucks, LPI territory, leave my recruit alone before I report your disorderly behaviour to Roy Sanders himself! What is even going on with your uniform these days? Looks like a nuclear mine went off in your washing machine. Get out of here.
Zeeroi: Sorry about that Jonas, I ain't done nothing wrong, just came straight here after writing that report.
Jonas: No harm done, now report to the Leavenworth, they need to speak to you about something, not sure what, maybe about those Rheinlanders you saw, what happened out there?
Zeeroi: Can't say, I'm sorry, but it was mad out there.
A bit shaken after his first experience in Sunbucks, Zeeroi leaves to fly to the Leavenworth, hoping that when he returns his visit will be more welcoming and less hostile.
[Admin]Garrett Jax docked his Venator outside the Liberty Police station the mortals named Fort Bush. Hundreds of officers of various ranks stared in amazement at the legendary space vessel as it slowly approached the mooring fixtures on the base.
Before leaving his ship, Garrett placed an electronic device upon his wrist, The Server Command Arm Band, or SCAB, for short. This clever device would allow him to use his Admin powers despite the fact that he was not aboard his admin ship or the Temple of the Damned. You had to expect the unexpected when dealing with mortals.
Wasting no time, he disembarked from the Venator and made quick time to Sunbucks. Strangely, the place appeared empty, save for a couple employees working the cafe. Everybody else was probably drooling on the portholes still staring at his ship, he figured. Good. It would be nice to sample the coffee without a crowd.
Garrett opened the door to the cafe. The smell of coffee brewing and sugary sweet donuts filled his senses immediately. He felt optimistic that this was going to solve his coffee shortage problem.
He selected one of many empty tables, sat down and waited for a waitress to take his order.
He waited.
And waited.
Where is everybody?
Finally, he noticed two women, the employees of the establishment, huddled in a corner arguing amongst themselves. They both looked quite upset. Every once in a while, they would look over at him and then begin whispering to each other and gesture wildly. Garrett tried to make out what they were saying but they were too far away.
Wait a minute, he thought. He grabbed his SCAB and typed in a simple command: .beam waitresses table.
Instantly, they both appeared at his table, still arguing and unaware they were standing right next to him.
"But those guys scare the crap out of me," the first waitress said. Indeed, she looked terrified. "What if he doesn't like the coffee?"
"Then we all are in trouble," replied the second waitress. "Not just you."
"But, I heard they are not even human, they are like 'gods' or something.
"He sat at your table. He's your customer."
Garrett cleared his throat. "Hello ladies."
The two women nearly jumped out of their skirts, screaming at the top of their voices when they heard Garrett speak.
Garrett smiled. "How about that cup of coffee, okay?"
The first waitress slowly nodded. She wore a nervous, quivering smile and walked back to the counter to get the coffee.
The second waitress simply stood there staring at him with wide eyes.
Garrett felt a little awkward with her just staring. He had a neat idea. He raised his wrist up for her to see.
"Hey, you want to check out my SCAB?" he asked.
The waitress looked sick. "Ewwww, gross," she cried out. With a disgusted look on her face, she raced back to the kitchen.
"It's not that kind of scab," Garrett yelled after her. But, it was too late, she was already gone.
Garrett thought briefly about going after her and then thought better of it. Besides, the first waitress was already arriving with his coffee. Finally, he thought. These particular mortals seemed a bit inept.
Garrett watched the young woman pour the coffee into his cup. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably. He tried to scoot his chair back to avoid the inevitable disaster that was about to occur. He wasn't quick enough. The waitress knocked the cup over spilling the boiling hot coffee onto his lap. In her efforts to stop the cup from tipping she lunged forward with the coffee pot and splashed more boiling hot coffee onto his face.
Garrett screamed in pain as his face sustained second degree burns from the scalding hot coffee. He fell off his chair, writhing in agony, holding his steaming face.
The second waitress popped her head out to see what the commotion was all about. Her eyes grew wide as she observed the Admin in pain.
She screamed to the first waitress. "You fool, Marge! Run for your life!"
Both waitresses ran out of the establishment, screaming at the top of their voices.
The pain on Garrett's face was beginning to subside. He picked himself up, grabbed the fallen chair and sat back down.
He searched around for the coffee pot the first waitress had and sighed.
John was staring at the little screen, blinking in disbelief.
"No,no..no! You'll spill coffee over him..No..."
Apparently she didn't really hear him. He saw the person get burned and threw the PDA away. A minute later he received a transmission. He knew what that was.
"Now what. Think, think."
He looked around in his shuttle. Empty coffee cups, a half-finished donut. Nothing to save him.
"Yes, someone to do the job. But who? All the Sunbucks employees are on a temp position, constantly deskilled and alienated. Damn you, post-fordist management decisions! They had no way to deal with this. No scripts written for this. I need someone who doesn't need scripts. Someone who can deal with pressure.."
Then he saw his little book on work organization.
"That's it!"
He quickly checked for officers near Fort Bush.
Jonas Valent
"Perfect"
He quickly contacted the aforementioned operative. After a quick small talk, he went straight to the point:
-How do you feel about job enlargement and job rotation? You see these are some pretty simple concepts of..
He went on and on for a while. Until Valent was bored. Exactly what he wanted.
- ...mutual benefits. So, would you please visit Sunbucks and check if everything is in order? We do have a very special customer there and I regret to say it, but the employees at Sunbucks are.. inefficient. Oh and if you see an odd vessel moored at Fort Bush, please ignore it.
He terminated the transmission and took a look outside.
The vessel was monstrous. Nothing like he'd ever seen. A load of officers were just sitting there, staring.
-Get back to work, you useless maggots!
He watched as the officers reluctantly returned to duty. He shook his head and hid back in his shuttle.
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