"I'm afraid I don't. However, it's situated a few steps behind the central memorial statue. That's the large one, dedicated to all those left behind in the first exodus. Also, you'll probably recognise our family's plaque by the family blazon pretty easily." She was referring to the symbol of a phoenix encircling a cross.
Doreen was grateful. "Thank you so much," she said smiling through some tears of her own. "Please, don't be afraid to visit me personally. I'm betting we could be good friends and well, I will be stopping by the lab more."
She grabbed her purse. As she walked by Catherine, she gave her a gentle hug, "Thank you again....so much." She let her go, "There is something I must do. I'll talk to you soon.
__________
Corvin Family Memorial
It took some looking but she found the memorial amongst the many that were like it. To see such a tribute to the fallen was bittersweet. She both smiled and shed tears at the sight. Before she went to the Corvin Memorial, she walked through the many that were there. So many had fallen for the Crayterian way. It only made her appreciate her new home all the more.
Finally, she found the Corvin memorial and stood before it. It was beautiful.
In Doreen's hand was a large bouquet of flowers. She found the name, Cynthia Corvin. Taking a knee, she knelt before the memorial and carefully placed the arrangement in front of the memorial. She then began talking out loud to someone she didn't know, had never met and never would. It was surreal.
"Cynthia, we've never met. I feel strange being here but it's only proper I mean, if you were still here, I wouldn't be right now. I'm not a spiritual girl but somehow, I feel you. I owe you some thanks."
She paused a moment as her eyes began to well up, "Erik and Peter, have been two of the best gifts I could ever receive. My son loves your son." Tears began falling down her face. "I mean, you should see them play together! But I have to admit to you, I have feelings for your husband. I know you see it. I've never felt this way about anyone."
She paused again as she began to cry for someone she didn't know, "And I don't know why. I guess, well, I want your approval before I feel more for him."
Another brief pause to collect herself as feelings poured out of her, "I....I.....I don't know what you think of someone who isn't the fighting type. I'm a doctor. It's what I do. I care for people..........and I.....I....love Erik but....it's.......so......soon."
Still on her knees, her head fell forward as she cried. It was the first time in forever that she had. Maybe it was years of pent up emotions. Maybe it was true feelings or maybe it was a good mix of both. She collected herself enough to finish.
"I'm hoping you approve of me. I don't know if you can give me a sign but boy, I sure could use one. I promise this much though, I'll be good to him."
It was all she could say. For someone she didn't know, she grieved. Not for herself but for Peter and for Erik. It took several minutes but she finally collected herself enough to get back to her feet, dry her face and hide her red eyes behind a large pair of sunglasses before beginning the walk out of the Memorials.
Catherine appreciated Doreen's hug, then only nodded in understanding. There wasn't anything more to be said, so she took her leave along with Doreen, parting ways at the hospital's flight pads.
Oblivious to the events transpiring for Doreen, Erik went on with his day as usual until around 17:00. Partially fatigued by hours of work without a break, he left New Astarte and went for home. Before going to the Corvin estate, however, he took a detour by the market. Knowing that Ben came to visit Peter today, he thought it would be a nice idea to bring the boys some sweets. Just as he was about to leave the market, he noticed the flower-stand... and a random thought crossed his mind. Hm... I wonder what kind of flowers Doreen likes...
Arriving home, he greeted the kids and gave them the pack of sweets, watching their faces light up. As the boys went back to playing on the ball-field, Erik went inside and started brewing himself some tea.
It was a perfect day for Benjen to be at Erik's. Her face was still red and her sinuses were still clearing. Somehow, a piece of her got left at that memorial. She didn't say a word even unto herself. She took off her shirt and went to the washroom to splash her face. Maybe that would settle things. She splashed it several times before patting her face dry with a towel. With the water still running, she just looked at herself in the mirror. But what was she looking for? In the past, she had seen the face of a little girl, one of a teenager, one of a troubled young mother and one of a successful physician. But what was she seeing now? It was as much a total stranger as much as it was familiar.
She then fixed her hair. It was a process in and of itself. A lot of brushing for the most part. She placed her fingers of both hands on her scalp and roughed it up a bit before standing and looking at herself.
"Uh-uh," she hummed before fixing it. Again she brushed and finally put some wave in her locks. That was the Doreen she knew but still, somehow, she was different. She walked into her bedroom to find a new blouse.
Before she looked for one, she noticed the picture of a time past. Her parents, herself and her brother before the exile. She stared at it and a small smile found her face. Her left hand held the picture while her right fondled the necklace she was wearing. It was an old gift from her father before he lost his job at Alster. She missed him terribly as she did her family. It wasn't fair that they all paid such a heavy price for something that wasn't their fault. What the government called treason, her family called survival. Again, tears fell down her face as she was still an emotional mess from her visit at the memorial.
It was getting closer to the time where she would have to go get Benjen. She poured herself a Seltzer and made the walk to her closet to find a blouse.
Corvin Estate, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
evening of 11 Sept. 824 A.S.
As he put the tea-pot aside to cool down for a moment, Erik went out of the kitchen. He slowly rose up the stairs and walked through the hallway with a somewhat of a drag. He entered Peter's room and took a seat on the side of the bed, glancing at a picture on the boy's nightstand. It was the only photo of Cynthia in the house. She always hated being photographed so Erik gave up trying to take her picture long before she died. Still, here it was, a picture of her holding newborn Peter in her hands. It wasn't her dark locks, in contrast with her blue eyes, but the happiness of a new mother that made her look radiant. He sighed deeply, knowing this was going to be the last time he ever thought of her with sorrow. Instead... she was to remain only a joyful part of his past. I'll always have a place for you in my heart. he thought, as he gently touched the picture's frame. Then, he left the room as slowly as he entered and went back downstairs.
An hour later, the boys were still playing volley-ball outside. Erik couldn't really hear their yelling and laughing from inside the house, but an occasional glance through the window was enough to assure him they were having fun. Having finished drinking his tea a while ago, he was now sitting in the living room, reading the news on his holo-pad.
She put on a low cut, black blouse. Something simple and her jeans. The day was done and it was time to go get Benjen. Still the thought of the trip to the Memorial was fore front on her mind. Taking her purse, she headed for the Corvin Estate.
_______
She hadn't seen Erik in several days. Work kept them both busy but the boys saw plenty of each other. When Erik let her in, she gave him a soft smile and a kind "Hi." Before she could say anything, Ben came running.
"Mom!" he yelled as he grabbed her.
"Did you have a good day, Sweetie?" she asked hugging him.
"A great day, Mom," he answered looking up at her. He could tell something was bothering her.
"Mom," he asked looking at her with curiosity, "Are you OK? You look upset."
She just smiled and stroked his head, "I'm fine, Sweetie." With that, he went back to playing but not before Peter came over to say hello. She asked him about his day as well.
Finally, she stood up straight and turned to Erik. It had been a few days since they had spoke or so much as seen each other.
She was slightly withdrawn but still managed to smile. She didn't want him to know where she had been that day or how she felt.
"It's good to see you again," she told him, "Work has seemed to keep us both pre-occupied even if the boys are able to play."
She then spoke kindly to him, "So how have you been?"
Corvin Estate, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
evening of 11 Sept. 824 A.S.
Doreen was managing to pose well enough for Erik not to notice anything out of the ordinary. However, compared to her, he was visibly relaxed. He offered his usual smile as a greeting, then motioned for Doreen to come inside. "Please, come in." He didn't know exactly when or if she'd come to get Ben, but since it was still quite early, he thought this would be a decent moment to catch up a bit.
After she spoke with both boys for a moment and turned to him, he walked her over to the living room. "So how have you been?" she asked. "Rather busy fixing a lot of machinery, these past few days. Somehow almost all of them manage to break at the same time." - he chuckled briefly, then continued with counter-questions "What about you? Oh, by the way, would you like a cup of tea?"
Expecting a positive response, he was already a few steps towards the kitchen before she would answer.
Corvin Estate, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
"What about you? Oh, by the way, would you like a cup of tea?"
"Thanks," she answered softly with a kind smile, "I'd love one." She was still a bit somber, as if she was just wiped out at the end of a day. She accepted the tea when he brought it to her. "Thanks."
She sipped it. It was soothing and smooth. "Very smooth," she complimented.
She was having a hard time making facial contact with him which was uncharacteristic of her. She always did but after the Memorial, she saw him much differently. She was still uncertain not of Erik but of the lady of his past. She hoped that she would get a sign..... a sign from "something" that this lady approved. It was consuming her to the point of her being almost totally silent.
"This week.......this week was uneventful yet busy," she said after a sip of her tea. "Besides having to diagnose an eight year old girl with cancer, tell her parents and start treatment, it was fairly routine." She sipped her tea again, "that diagnosis normally leaves me distraught but we found it early so I felt confident."
Fact was, she didn't appear it as much as she said.
She started enjoying the tea more. She nodded, "this is good. Where did you get it?"
Corvin Estate, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
evening of 11 Sept. 824 A.S.
After handing Doreen a cup of tea, neatly placed in a matching plate, Erik brought a cup for himself as well and took a seat in an armchair near the doctor. Happy to enjoy a quiet moment with her, he just leaned back, sipped from his tea and listened to her intently. As she spoke though, he noticed her to be a bit fidgety, which was uncommon. He kept looking at her, although his face drifted from his usual curious look to a more concerned one.
"this is good. Where did you get it?" she asked, regarding the tea. "We grow the hibiscus in one of the farm islands, although we originally brought the plants from Bretonia." he replied politely. In fact, both Erik and his brother Henry were tea aficionados, even before arriving in Sirius. If the circumstances were different, he would've loved to discuss this topic with Doreen, but right now he felt something was missing, compared to their usual interactions.
Observing Doreen a bit more, it became clear. Her eyes were set into the teacup. Someone who once asked him for permission to look deep into his eyes... was now avoiding his sight altogether. He leaned forward from his chair with disquiet in his mind and asked gently "Doreen... is everything alright?" His hand was moving towards hers, almost by instinct, as a sign of reassurance. Still, he stopped himself before touching her, recalling how the last time he took her hand it made Doreen uncomfortable.
She was caught and she knew it. For something that should feel so good, so right, it felt more like a burden. Perhaps it was because she had never felt this way before. She wanted to talk to him but she didn't know how nor did she know what to say. How would he feel if he found out about her trip to the Memorial or that he talked to Catherine? All that she knew at the moment that she was starting to fall for someone that she didn't know near enough. She also didn't want to push things too much with children nearby.
She saw his hand close to hers. It was one of caring. Was this the sign she was seeking? No, not from someone from beyond but still, it was something. As the hand got close, she gently clasped it. It was the first time she had done that to anyone. "Doreen... is everything alright?"
She just gave a look to him of sad confusion.
"I.......I don't know," is all she answered.