To: Planetform Inc. From: Synth Foods

[Alphonso Antolini]

::Incoming Transmission::

::GMO level Encryption::

Greetings,

My name is Alphonso Antolini, I'm one of the Department Managers for Synth Foods.

I've just received some concerning information.

This morning, I was talking business with an important investor at the Synth Complex's corporate golf course.

I was just about to seal a major deal when we were interrupted by the sounds of a large tractor starting up and backfiring like thunder in the distance.

Needless to say, the loud noise startled our guest and he missed his swing. After that, it was very difficult convincing him that Synth's market share is still secure.

The increase in grubby, tractor driving, hicks rumbling down the roads holding up our corporate limos as of late, is bad for business.

Once I had concluded our meeting, I dispatched our "Environmental Auditing" team.

Now, we don't have the needed equipment to get a truely accurate read on the "Enhancements" that Stuttgart went through, but our initial findings aren't encouraging. It would seem that the planetary biome may be starting to revert back to it's previous ecology.

We were wondering if you might be able to dispatch a crew to make sure the planet is still on track to remain "Favorable" for our purposes?

Regards,
Alphonso Antolini

::End Transmission::

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[Ironwatsas]

-=INCOMING TRANSMISSION=-

Source: Sir Archibald Chamberlain, Planetform CEO
Location: Canterbury Station, New London System
Subject: Re: [✓] Transmission/ [ ] You're a Pillock for even playing golf, be a man and develop a taste for cricket, why don't you
Priority: Keter

Tally ho, old chap! We've received your transmission and are delighted to take your money help out with your environmental concerns.

Now, the Lab boys tell me that any large scale geography modification to clear rogue tractors out would likely involve high explosives, and would probably cause further disruption to your golf endeavors. They base this logic on prior experience involving Planetform's Primary School Sports Field Terraforming Initiative in 717 A.S.

However, our wildlife management department have put forward one solution. Cygnus olor, the common mute swan. Here at Planetform, we take pride in offering the meanest finest and most bloodthirsty well cared for animals as part of our environmental enrichment programs.

We will also construct a proper wetland habitat surrounding your golf course to act as a shelter for the swans to spawn, as well as adding a scenic water trap to your greens. The combination of the two will provide a non-intrusive scenic barrier to your recreational areas, while at the same time promoting more biodiversity in a given area.

This is all for the low low price of 25,000,000 credits, payable to PFI)Canterbury.Account.

Planetform incorporated must also request you sign an official waiver in case something goes wrong.


Regards

~Sir Archibald Chamberlain

PLANETFORM INCORPERATED
"Playing god so you don't have to!"

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All that begins must end.

[Alphonso Antolini]

::Incoming Transmission::

::GMO level Encryption::

Sir Archibald,

It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Although, I must admit at first I was taken aback by your proposition. Killer swans running "Afoul"???

We were thinking more along the lines of having some of your expert specialists calibrate the "Carbon Dioxide" levels in Stuttgart's atmosphere.

But, after some thought, and a few rounds too many at the bar, *hick ups*, I've "Warmed Up" to your idea.

If the beasts can be trained to have a mean disposition to tractors, then perhaps they might also be useful in keeping some of our less then reasonable business associates "On Par" during the next fairway negotiation...*Evil Chuckle*

*Scribbles a note to start production on "Swan Food" flavored synth paste*

I'll see to it that accounting wires the funds and you get the "Flock" over here.

With synthetically enhanced regards,
Alphonso Antolini

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[Ironwatsas]

-=INCOMING TRANSMISSION=-

Source: noreply@planetformpayplan.dsc
Location: Canterbury Station, New London System
Subject: Reciept[/s]
Priority: Automated Message

::AUTOMATED RECIEPT::

::YOUR DELIVERY OF "One dozen Africanized TurboSwan™ eggs" IS PENDING. TO BE DELIVERED TO ADDRESS "7331 Planet Stuttgart, Stuttgart System, Sirius Sector"::

PAYMENT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED FROM "Synth|-Bread" TO THE ORDER OF "24999999.98" SIRIUS CREDITS, PLUS A TAX OF "#error NaN"

PLANETFORM INCORPERATED
"Playing god so you don't have to!"

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All that begins must end.