If you are so keen to "hunt those responsible", as you claim so, why don't you go and ask those JIVA folks what they did to the Persy before they passed her to us? I'm pretty sure they can explain the things you've seen better than we do.
Oh, and this inquisition thing where you pick those you don't like or just want to rob legally and call them witches, heretics, infectees, or anything the local community can the most easily outcast so that you can gather partners for a witch-hunt quickly... well this thing used to be a trend centuries, if not more than a millenia ago, it is old now, outdated, vintage, and totally uncool.fnord
You are more clever than not to know this, and I'm sure you also know that we dislike these blue things at least as much as you do, so in all honesty... Why does it seem to me that you are more inclined to seek hostility than cooperation in this matter?
Posts: 8,089
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*incoming transmission*
Comm ID: [TAZ]Doc.Holliday
To: The Order
CC: All Concerned
I really don't give a damn if you find my words "unconvincing." How typical! The Order resorts to threats and demands to get what they want. I guess you didn't figure out that doesn't work with the Corsairs! I know I figured it out.
While you have been trying to "save" humanity from an entity who's space we humans long ago infringed upon, I have studied them at length. It's amazing how they are merely inquisitive when you use a non-lethal approach.
He thinks for a moment
Awhile back, I was asked to go out to your former home world of Toledo. I remember the destruction and was shaken by what I saw. I was then asked to report to everyone of my findings so as to hide the Order's new location in secrecy. I did as asked. I even stationed a man out there. Mr. Chris DeGarmo in the Moonstone to assist. I think you owe us something and that something is trust our work and leave us be. As I said, I wouldn't have approved that ship if I felt it dangerous.
Or is this a case of where the Order isn't happy that they didn't get the technology first for their own use? As Pope Koetzer asked, why don't you ask the folks at JIVA about it?
Now go home before I have to take back my office to throw you out myself!
Data Stream Source Local: Shasta Orbital Skyhook, Baffin, in polar orbit high above planet geode. Proxies: Freeport Five outgoing relay, Omega 41, Freeport Ten outgoing relay, Tau 47, Comn buoy Ttsm731, Omicron Eta, Comn buoy Ttsm059, Artois.
"I deliver my message as speaker for the Raven body, and the gavel in the Raven's claw. Neither authority will be a source of pleasure for me, but as for the message which I serve as an emissary for… oho. We skirt the opposite pole."
"By the luxuries the universe has seen fit to bestow upon me, I am your relay - a mere mouthpiece. Puppet master, yes, but you may not get to see the strings I hold.
//impending//
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)
*Appears to be surrounded by an unearthly quantity of popcorn*.
Doc Holliday Wrote:The Persephone, a recent acquisition to our fleet. I can't comment on how we got it or the specifics but I will assure you this as a medical professional.....there is no threat by the Nomads because of an experimental device on board the ship. I may not be administrator but I am chief medical officer and I have spent a good deal of time researching Nomads for scientific and medical purposes. Unlike the Order and most others, we don't have a "shoot first" policy. I have piles of research that I've done and it will remain confidential.
I was part of the delegation regarding the Persephone. At the time, I was administrator. If I had any doubts, if I felt it to be a threat, I wouldn't have allowed it. I'm getting a little short with people nowadays so don't be hunting in Baffin space where we have a no fire zone in place. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
-Doc
“Fleet? Putain de la Dieu’s ornery merde tissues….”
“….Come come cheri, let us glance over that statement again. It is far too hilarious to permit pass in one spate.”
Doc Doolittle Wrote:…The Persephone, a recent acquisition to our fleet…
“…And yet again…”
Doc Diabolist Wrote:…Our fleet…
*barely recovers from his splutterances*“…Ahem, Holiday, if you would desist from ‘playing doctor’, or whatever it is you squander your hours upon, but… what particular ‘Fleet’ would the Persephone prove an element of? A Fleet of Marie Celestes, hmm, of lost causes? Perhaps you use the term hyperbolically, nay, abstractly – you bear the hubris of a totalitarian satellite state; I pray you; utilise honesty.”
“…Say, perhaps that elagaently grandiose gaggle of Order-originated gunboats all manner of illegitimate papists find pleasure in cluttering the Tau airspace with. Sir Holiday, I am not the admiral in question, but if I were, I would direly consider an impoundment.”
“…Now now ami; Zoners do not maintain ‘feets’. Flotillas? Perhaps. But you… Imbeciles, will, and do not possess the resources to, maintain a functional, militarised fleet. Dieu only knows what you maintain the bleedin’ Persephone with, for I see no Discordian shipyards, no Discordian worlds. A few arachnid-shaped arcologies dotted around the eather, perhaps, but little else of note. You do not have a fleet; the darling admiral has a fleet. And you’d do well to listen to the man with a polaxe to your neck and all manner of ribbons to his shoulderblades, do you comprehend me?”
“…Golanski is a leader of men. You all are pithy pleblians of the independent worlds; your protestations are of zero consequence, my darlings.”
//more impending//
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)
I am certain that you bear a particularly extensive file upon me, Admiral, although hopefully nothing so overtly extensive as to cause clandestine disquiet.
Firstly, as an attendant to the Baffin apocalyptia yesterday I can state quite succinctly that no frittering, palsied attempt by either representatives of the Temporary Autonomous Zoners, nor any other incretinating vassal of the Discordian blaspheme, nor any other Francophobic sycophant will hold truck in the grand scheme of harliquinism and badger-baiting that happens to be presently occurring.
All the following facts are not subject to dispute; both the Commonwealth, Junker Marauders, a myriad of independent Zoners, the Ingennus Research Group, the Order Overwatch and the blasted, gung-ho offspring of the Collonial Republic and any of the assorted animals they mate with… *breathes* …along with both the Contari Lance and some additional Maltese new-kid-on-the-block all have considerable, damming guncamera footage of your imbecility. So go on now; question the validity of my statements. I (and my Reaver budget) dare you to do so.”
The Vacational Sawbones Wrote:…but I am chief medical officer…
“Hubris. Filthy, rotten, hubris.”
“Unfortunately my vacationally monikered Doctor, as a human medical professional, permit myself to bear an… extensive degree of cynicism towards your actual personal knowledge on the matter of the Persephone’s infection. Firstly, as a Discordian, it is an inevitability that you would actively seek to support the organisation that you were once a leading element of the command structure of. A figurehead, further, which had direct access to the Persephone’s internals for an… exceptionally prolonged period of self-diagnosis. Pray; how proficient is your aptitude at self-diagnostics? If your opinion was to hold any sway at all within the impending reckoning, then would it not work in your interest, Doctor, to willingly and unrestrainedly submit yourself to the long arm of the Overwatch for all manner of… hm, speculation redacting invasive medical procedures, then we would be entirely welcome.
Essentially; you are not an xenobiologist, nor are you a stellar architect, nor an engineer. You cannot make structural comments about the nature of the Persephone’s…. less tactful… modifications without incurring the ire of those observing you. Laymen should do something of use other than fiddle with the work of the professionals.
I am a man who has had every manner of K’haran bioform up to a Marduk Guardian buzz within a threateningly intimate distance of my resident arcology, with nary a fly swatter to oppose them with.
Tell me ami’s. You who think yourselves so competent at gauging who is infected, and who is not? Have you ever actually had any intimate, personal dialogues with an infected person? Have you ever observed an infected ship?
I have. Five of them. Three of them on recurring occasions. One of them so outrageously lovecraftian I will bear no further mention of it.
Another point for incredulity is that the…. Supposedly ethical… Doctor Holiday cannot state the manner in which the TAZ acquired the ship in question. He does not state the functionality of such a craft, nor justify the very purpose of the craft at all. One does not nonechallently dismiss an electromagnetic hardfield of so evidently K’haran construction with mere blasé ignorance – to do so is but the act of a spoilt, petulant infant; ignorant of the associated friction points of placing his docile, pliable head against the blade of the angle grinder his parents have been so lovingly inspired to provide for his Michaelmas.
To be appropriately brusque whilst scathing the living merde out of your voicebox, Holiday; your profession is zero evidence of the innocence of either you or your comrades, your manners are illogical and smarmy, you are outgoingly (and outrageously) dismissive in the visage of what could rapidly escalate into a pan-sector war without limit nor restriction. Blood will be spilt from their host arteries all because you, noble humanitarian, directly lied.
But I will not argue with you. History will record your failing as it will your fate. After all, the victor is invariably the one holding the pen.
Doc the Irrepressible Wrote:…I have spent a good deal of time researching Nomads for scientific and medical purposes…
*Crunches a particularly undiscordant apple. Loudly.*
“…My good Doctor, exactly how eager are you to wedge your head in the guillotine?”
“…I do hope the Admiral here is taking notes…”
“…Egad man; I admire you. You actually had the testicles to admit to the very face of the Inquisition that you have been utilising K’hara xenobiomass for human medical experiments. And you, the most renowned humanitarian in the sector, too. Perhaps that makes you the most renowned traitor in the sector, too, no?”
Doc, destroyer of worlds Wrote:…I have piles of research that I've done and it will remain confidential…
“…Not when a platoon of rapacious Order Commandos have rampaged through your study, it won’t…”
“…Pray, what exactly do you plan on fighting them off with; your scalpel? A rolled up medical certificate?”
Doctor death Wrote:…I have piles of research…
*Laconically*“My dear Doctor, I am not surprised. You clearly have had a – considerably – ah, how do I put it; more “intimate” contact with the Nomad race than the rest of us do. Remind me never to invite you to social events; I desire my guests unmolested, as opposed to brainless servants of a xenophobic sub-race, say.”
Doc destitute Wrote:…it will remain confidential.
“Ami, I am not surprised that whatever master you have currently clamped to your spine would wish to keep the depths of your brain rather… hush hush, as it were.”
“…A short vivisection will solve that particular malady, I am sure.”
“You conclude that I raise the stakes? Not so. Your organisation deemed fit to initiate a conference (as indeed; did the hosts of the previous Baffinite bastardry of a seminar), with the purpose of rallying some… pithy banner… some tokenistic violence, against the Gallic Crown. Oho; do I presume too much, Sir, do I truly?
I know my enemy.
I have held the displeasure of being a citizen of this… sordid sector… for three years. Three years of living in the sweat and filth of the lower, democratic regions instead of within the plush dignity of the Gallic region. I am stranded in the nethers of barbarianism.
I have encountered officers of the Bretonian Armed Forces more overtly conversational, less xenophobic, more open to reason, than Popes Wyrdmake the wicked and Brettonias the Bloody Awful. Rackham has served me a round of Cerberus cannons, although to his credit, he did make a dedicated aim at stoppering up the frothy-mouthed Skarzi following the somewhat… bombastically ridiculous tone of our first encounter. To be succinct; every occasion when I have ever happened to chance an interaction with your primary representatives, all I have ever received from the TAZ have been threats and violence.
An eye for an eye blinds all. You have been taking an excruciatingly libertarian quantity of my eyes, Discordians, with absolutely no return penalisations what so ever. We have attempted to co-operate with you. We have held meetings with you, quaint, near-pointless visits to Baffin, in addition. We have tolerated you, endured you, fawned towards you and purchased your fowl, biologically parasitic scrubbies for all the merde that they’ve proved useful for. In short, you have taken our eyes, used the resulting skull holes as sexual implements, stabbed at them for a while, then just thrown the bloody, desiccated remains down a manhole and left it to rot in the proverbial."
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)
We (the raven), equate to a singular emotional state: intolerantly disdainful – read; not happy.
Congratulations, brava, bravo, huzzah. You have succeeded in catalysing the one Sirian political agency that flies around without a single vulgar, pleblian particle cannon bolted to their hulls consider going back on their entire ethos and funding a dedicated mercenary wing. Perhaps interspaced with some moonbeams. Oh, and some Culverins. Perhaps the odd Trebuchet. Ospreys, Montantes; the product of the creatively violent and desperate.
You have treated us as filth and slapped us around the face.
First offence: We ignore you; to use a fowl religious metaphor; turn the other cheek.
Second offence: You slapped the other cheek. We insult you, and walk away; pretend the Discordianist buffons of the Baffinites simply do not exist.
Third offence: We load the shotgun.
Fouth offence: We fire the shotgun.
We are now in the double figures. This is cruise-missile grade counter-insult.
Unfortunately, to this point we are no longer speaking in metaphor, but armament. A fleet to your fleet, Holiday. Fight the fire with fire, not a fire engine. Sabre to your sabre, foil to your foil. Because we will foil you; no benediction, just pain old revelations. Or new revelations; this is the end, after all.
Well, for some. ‘New Jerusalem’ and all that jazz.
It is laughable that you consider yourself humanitarian pacifists, for you will be pacified, if you persist in angering those who wish only to coexist with them. “
Rabid humans receive injections to cure them of their rabies. Rabid dogs however, receive an alternative format of injection; one to end them. You see; this is a core precept of humanity, of the very freedom you hypocritically claim to cultivate – the right to discern for yourselves what lives class as important, and which are merely… assets. To be discarded and/or disregarded at a point of redundancy of your choosing. For certain; a redundant life will truly snuff away – the flame of a candle dying to insignificance.
Doctor Delirious Wrote:….unlike the Order and most others, we don't have a "shoot first" policy….
Now now; lying is a sin.
I believe I have already given my justifications for that particular blaspheme.
I have a two centimetre vertical scar along my inner right thigh which would prove you otherwise, Doctor. Care to administer that to your medical attentions?
I believe you may have gotten the Temporary Autonomous Legislature somewhat befuddled with that of our own – post a recent exception. Bemusing.
To cut it succinctly:
I’ll stand with the Admiral.
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)
“Now, Doctor Felix; you are a commendable man and clearly somebody who actually knows what they are discussing, unlike a certain party… actually, I’m being a lunatic, scratch that; every party involved in this transmission save the Phoenix Zoners, the Solar Runners, and the Order Overwatch. Oh, and the Commonwealth, but that runs implicitly.”
Doctor Felix Wrote:but I find Dr. Holliday response... unconvincing.
“You are entirely correct. Likewise, I do so aspire that the dear Discordian would skirt around the possibility of absolute militarised bedlam in the edge worlds, but, eh, so be it. After all, where’s a war without its profiteers, hm?”
Doctor Felix Wrote:Not to mention an abandoned facility found in Bretonia long time ago might serve a perfect candidate to find out if our solutions would be successful.
“Intriguing.”
“…If the Commonwealth Pathfinder can lend any limbs, no matter how minuscule the imput, to the Order’s own explorations of this matter, then inform us, preferably over an entirely separate channel. Regardless, we have a vast amount of material to mull over between our organisations anyway, and I would prefer to execute such in an environ free of interlopers. Of course, I will defer to your better judgement - the Order Overwatch is the Order Overwatch and I… ahem, we, will pay heed to whatever suggestion your community happens to broach. You do prevent the sector from falling into absolute Abaddon, after all.”
//more coming//
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)
“So, after that liberating deviation into the realms of sanity, let us delve back into the darkness by countering someone truly deranged.”
Dr. Van Van Mojo, peanut case Wrote:I am right now at Shasta, at a Zoner reunion…
“…Enough with the falsehood already, Discordians. Your group is behind the machinations of the conference; you could at least do the Order the curtesy of stating the true intent of the grouping. As far as our past observations of Baffin Summits spreads; the TAZ has assembled the summit with the sole intent of drumming up allies for some… pithy interventionist scheme to do with the One True Monarchy’s alleged designs on the Bretonian house, along with other, implicit defensive details which are generally recognised by other, more sentient members of the Zoner Community to be the direct result of the Temporary Autonomous Discordians’ direct member-ups in regards to ah, say, assaulting royalist forces repeatedly across the last eleven months. It is truly a tiresome cycle to observe.”
“…Additionally, the Zoner Community is not just one sycophantic family reunion – make no corpses about it, most Zoner organisations abjectly detest each other. You will find no cuddles from me, ami – I am only attending personally to ensure that the TAZ doesn’t end up executing something truly stupid, along with a sizable marine contingent (five thousand, as is the custom), to ensure that the subject being executed doesn’t happen to be me.”
Dr. White Van Man Wrote:As Doc stated, the Persephone is NOT infected by any non human organisms.
“…The infected never directly tell the uninfected that they are infected. That would defeat the purpose of being infected in the first place, note.”
“…If you truly wish to prove that you are not infected, then permit the Order to examine you and the Persephone, preferably invasively. Problem solved.”
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)
Dr. Vanity Wrote:What your men may have read as infection is actually an oddity in the singularity motor, which I have been tampering with.
“…If the Discordians have truly unlocked the secrets of harnessing a controlled singularity, then you are already enough of a threat to the survival of the Sirius sector by the very nature of the energy source you are utilising to be forcibly contained, infection or no.”
Dr. Van Wrote:The motor has been modified by me by inserting a very vey holy relic of the TAZ in it's core…”
“My dear Van man, the good Admiral appears to bear a prominent intrest in examining this relic of yours. Oh, and ah, I’ll happily take any remaining hardcopies, post liquidation.”
Dr. Van Guano Wrote:With that cleared I want also to tell you that Baffin's sovereignity falls under TAZ responsibility and if we have any "nomad related" problem inside our home we will deal with it and ask for your help only if we find ourselves overrun.
“…Congratulations Sir; you have elaborately informed the Order to “get stuffed unless we really need you.” Unfortunately, by the time Nomads overrun Baffin, you will not be able to request help, on the account of you being infected. You do not dictate terms to the inquisition, papist.”
“…And I must say, you are rendering an exceptionally fine case for our belief in your infection. Do go on.”
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)
“…Hail the Raven, for the Raven always prevails. It’s a fact of life, ami.”
Professor Lyle Wrote:Tei Kallistei, in the name of Eris!
“In the name of sweet Satan, could you speak honest Saxon? Keep the cult-speak for the cultists – nobody desires to have your evangelism inflicted upon us.”
Professor C Kyl Wrote:My name is Professor Louis Carlisle, Head of the Baffin Research Institute in Shasta Orbital Skyhook.
“…An institute infinitely insignificant by comparison to Ames Research Station, our own Pathfinder Institute’s Deck Thirteen, or even those fabled IRG Personages. I hear that the Solar Runners lack shabbiness in that department, too, and are rather proficient at what they do, too.”
“…Oh, and yes, I did state an infinity. Whilst theoretically impossible in an Einsteinian universe and all that yadda, it proves workable for the metaphor. Do not be a pedant – leave that to the destined.”
Professor Kane Killmore Wrote:It is called the "Khaostone".... Ancient scrolls from our Holy Polyfathers have prophesied the discovery of this very sacred and holy relic. That in a the time of great peril, it shall be used against those who wished to disturb the Sacred Chao!
“…Ami, quite apart from this… bizarrely transparent oversaturaturation of threat, you appear to be elaborating that the Temporary Autonomous Zoners are in possession of some manner of grotesque superweapon.”
“…As somebody who (rather direly) intends to disturb the Sacred Chao and restore every element of your chaotica to serene, tranquil order under a well leathered bootheel, then yes. I have every intent of ridding you of this Khaostone. For good.”
Absurdity Erisian Wrote:Please, do not mistake our technology for those so-called Nomads.
“…Your peblian doggerel is entirely deranged. I have absolutely zero confidence in a fundamentally Theistic group being able to comprehend something as complex as theoretical physics. You claim to have a research capacity excelling that of the very houses themselves, never mind shadow groups such as the Overwatch. This, ami’s, is pure self-delusion – you are clearly utilising an artefact of some manner, and that will be pilfered from you.”
Discordian disclaimer Wrote:We [TAZ], may seem a little bit eccentric and sometimes to the point of being called insane, but I assure you we -are not- under alien influence.
“Oho, then what are you under the influence of? Nox? We can provide if you are so inclined.”
THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)