Posts: 3,100
Threads: 96
Joined: May 2012
Staff roles: Balance Dev
(11-11-2014, 08:54 PM)Solar Runner Council Command Wrote: The Solar Runners was founded by Ashley Suzuki in 819 A.S.
Finally a major breakthrough happened as Jump Drives were created. Using the technology some of our scientists from all the houses worked together and created a system that was able to generate hyperspace coordinates from afar by only having the general area of a system. Using this ended in many failures but eventually we landed in one system. A system with many planets and nebula's. It was a sight to see, a world untouched by the nomads or any other human alike. We call this place Omicron Solar. We created cities over time, massive cities. In a way I suppose we became a house of our own. An unknown house.
City:Forever Light City Population:19,810,700 Class:Civilian City Size: 150 mile radius
My main gripe with your write-up: an attempt at combining an epic scale with a silly short timeframe. Even in Discovery's universe, I don't believe one can go from founding a faction to finding an entirely new system to colonizing this system and becoming a whole "house" in, what, three years?
I prefer factions that aim a little lower at the start. While a background with a brand new system is a pretty cool idea, I feel the numbers and scale of it all are a little out of whack given the timeframe provided.
Oh, another thing that I realized as I read over this very post: jumpdrives as they are have absolutely no lore backing them up. Basing a fairly substantial part of your lore on it makes this a little.. iffy. Perhaps try and come up with their lore yourself, or perhaps you could use unstable jumpholes and such instead of jumpdrives so that your lore is based on more established background lore? Just a small thing.
Yes we understand Haste and thank you for pointing it out, like I did say, we will be editing this over the next while so we can make it look much more better, however thank you for pointing this out