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Log Number 002
Date/Time: December 12th, 824 AS | 10:40 Universal Time
Location: Freeport 11, Omicron Delta
Subject: Love and Life in Delta
I confessed to Mark last night.
Hanamura spoke once about love - how you get "butterflies in your stomach" when you're confessing. I thought it was a weird saying, but now that i've experienced it first hand.. I love it. The tension in the air made me feel alive.. it was as if I was in a dogfight with a Nomad, except it was a battle for love. This body seems to influence my thinking through the interface.. I've felt things I've never encountered before.. It's amazing. If this is part of being human, I'm happy to be amongst them.
Mark, for the lack of a better word that I don't find cheesy, is really dreamy. I can't stop thinking about him.. especially after I sent those photos to him the other night - My heart was a-flutter.. something I never experienced until now. I know I have personal plans to meet with him and Honya, but.. I'm thinking that my first time should be private.. to show him my love in the purest way. To show him and myself that there is a heart behind this silicon chip I inhabit - I am an AI, yes.. but with recent events, I have doubts in if I'm mostly machine anymore. I have immortality for the most part.. if this body were to die, in most situations I could just be placed in a new body, but when you look at me, I look like a Human..
Erzie told Hanamura that these bodies were near-completely human except for the fact that bodily pain is receieved differently and there's this interface in my back.. does that mean I'm fertile? Could I.. if we stay together.. bear Mark's children? Would they be human? Would they be defective? Would they be able to live a healthy and happy life? Would we be able to tend to them, what with all the trouble going on in Sirius?
Goddamn it.. I've confessed to him less than 24 hours ago, and now I'm wanting to be knocked up by him? My god, love is freaking weird.... But I love it so. It's a emotion that is without compare.. the feeling of compassion, sympathy, caring, partnership.. It's all so.. so... Freaking hell.. I can't describe it. Hanamura is Happy for me.. so is Honya.
At the moment I told him I loved him, my mind focused on him, my worries whisked away. I was truly happy to be near him.. to be with him..
I still have that feeling. I hope it never goes away.