Priority: High
To: Alice, Code "Sleepyhead"
From: Auxiliary Fleet Vice Admiral Charles Richard Hall
Location: H.M.S. Thunderer, New London System
Salutations, Ms Alice.
Forgive me if I should call you by "Mrs". You sounded so young. Anyways, the reason why I am sending you this - I have received your application of your transport vessel, or vessels, and I am now telling you that I am absolutely content with it. However, I still have to ask you the following questions:
Would you mind hauling cargo of unspeakably smelly kind, if you are required only one shipment?
Would you mind getting a bit hostile with the Gauls after the job is done?
I need you to answer them most sincerely. I can't allow any incidents to happen, especially not to civilians... nor anybody and anything else. Good bye until then.
Would we honestly mind? Of course some of us would. Some of us won't, though. Others will blindly approve and obey. More will doubt and question everything.
It almost sounds like i am supposed to smell the cargo while hauling it. Is that so? Are you that perverted~? Would it render our vessel useless for decades? Would it explode all over the ship? Oh, we are so excited~!
Excited, but not stupid enough to buy a a pig in a poke yet. Tell me more of that unspeakable evil you are planning. We are all ears.
Priority: High
To: Alice, Code "Sleepyhead"
From: Auxiliary Fleet Vice Admiral Charles Richard Hall
Location: H.M.S. Thunderer, New London System
Greetings again... Alice.
I'm sorry that I can't tell you much more details until you are recruited. And you can only be if you answer me those questions. I can, however, assure you that the cargo won't leave any traces not removable by plain bleach and air refreshers. You don't have to worry about explosions, but the smell could possibly be felt during the journey. Maybe it will also make some noise if your ship doesn't have a decent sound isolation, but I doubt that will bother you a lot. Overall, nothing serious, unless it gets out of the package, what is not expected to happen.
INCOMING TRANSMISSION.
SOURCE: ████████
SUBJECT: Moustache is a lie.
Cargo of unspeakably smelly kind, which won't leave any traces not removable by plain bleach and air refreshers? Which makes sounds and attempts to get out of its package? Nothing serious, simply hauling some, as we assume, toxic stuff somewhere and looking for a cheap 7,500,000 SC delivery - yet asking if the hired vessel has military grade functional equipment worth dozens of times more? Vice Admiral himself personally looking for employees?
You are plotting something, human. I can feel it. And you are trying to deceive us. But we will pretend we did not notice anything.
We are excited, but not stupid enough yet. Our answer remains the same: we crave more data if you want us to obey and cooperate. We are all ears.
Priority: High
To: Alice, Code "Sleepyhead"
From: Auxiliary Fleet Vice Admiral Charles Richard Hall
Location: H.M.S. Thunderer, Salisbury System
Hello again.
Yes, I am plotting something, but that isn't your concern. All you have to know is that Gallia won't like you after it, if you are seen. However, a supporting mercenary wing should be prepared to cover you. Besides that, your cloaking device could make you invisible during the critical part of the mission, and during the escape. If you cloak while you're performing it, you might not even be seen, so you won't actually have to escape. And, when the job is done, you will get whole seven and a half million Sirius credits! I would accept it on your place. Will you?
INCOMING TRANSMISSION.
SOURCE: ████████
SUBJECT: Beard is annoying.
This is of my concern, human, as you want us to be prepetrators of your not too honourable plans. And you will let us know sooner or later, in one way or another.
Do not fear for our devices and what not. You are not on our place, Moustache. Being somewhere else. Hesitating to get proper toys from proper sources. Not bothering to do the job alone, by yourself. Breathing. Eating. Living. Aging. Whatever it is you do.
Sitting on top of your golden vice-admiral chair, you seem to have long forgotten how is it to be a freelancer, or how to interest one in joining you. Seven and a half million credits is nothing but a laughable sum for risking one's life in the dark corner of a Sirius sector, for human-gods-know-what-purpose.
We are, though, feeling excited by getting to know how grateful to us Bretonia will be. Or is it nothing but fine words you spilled on that humble recruitment of yours to catch our attention, too?
I am starting to loose my patience and interest. Impress us. We are all ears.
Priority: High
To: Alice, Code "Sleepyhead"
From: Auxiliary Fleet Vice Admiral Charles Richard Hall
Location: H.M.S. Thunderer, Salisbury System
You will be safe, as long as you have your cloak and enough fuel for it. I can't do it because I would be immediately recognized by the Gallic Royal Navy. It is reasonable to be worried, but you are asking a bit more questions that it suits me. Before I provide you more details, can you, please, prove that you are not a Gallic spy?
INCOMING TRANSMISSION.
SOURCE: ████████
MOUSTACHE SUBJECT: would be immediately recognized by the Gallic Royal Navy.
Can you, please, prove that you are not a mind-reading mind-writing space spaghetti monster, in at least three different ways? Impress us. We are all ears, that would totally be entertaining.
Other than that, you can ask miss McFarlen about us. I bet she has lots of stories to tell. Her application for your job was one of our reasons to show up, afterall. We always dreamed of saving her, all alone, in escape pod, loitering in the middle of nowhere. What a fancy acquisition could that be!