The Grave to the Gun

[Zasalamel]

[color=#FF0000]EXTREME LANGUAGE I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING 17+ (even though I'm 12)

SHINK

The shovel hit the hot desert dirt, risen, and dumped the dirt into the pile of dirt 20 times as big as that chunk of dirt.

"You like dealing with dirt." Said the grave-digger's boss.

"I don't you twa-"

"Yes. Dirt. Just like you. You're a piece of dirt. Get it? Useless? Waaaaahahahaha!!"

The grave-digger, Kent Dyer had been taking this from his boss for 6 years, and he had enough. He took up his shovel and hit his boss sharply in the side of his head, then kicked him into the hole he had been digging, which was very deep.

"Fah-h***ing fat bird!" he said in a British-Canadian accent.

He ran off to his ship, a crummy Hawk, and flew to California Minor. Home. He was walking when he got a call. A man in a strangely deep voice was talking.

"Hi, uhhh, we're taking new SWAT members and uhhh... *click*

A while later, Kent changed his mind. He called the LPI back.

"Sure, I'll take it."

"Yes. That is a good choice. You made a good choice. Yes. A good choice. You made a good choice. Yes. A goo-"

Kent didn't know what was wrong with that man.

"Soppy c**t"

---

Sig made by Jazz

[Zasalamel]

Dyer arrived at the office. He was given a helmet, with "LPI" written on it. And a pair of goggles. Along with body armor and an LPI uniform. He was also given a large rifle. He slipped his beer bottle into the pants pocket. He looked like this-
Image 1

Now he was ready to do his duty. He got into his Guardian and hung his rifle on the clothes hanger. He was flying around when he heard a large CRACK in his ship. He turned around and saw his rifle on the floor, and it was broken at where he hung it.

"Well f***."

Kent turned around and saw a pirate in his face. He couldn't move.

"Well, what do we have here?"

Kent didn't respond.

"I said, well, what do we have here?"

"One million and you free to go."

"What?"

Kent checked his ID on his ship, it read trader.

"Oooohhh.... F***ing hell."

"Sorry, I uh, forgot to switch out my ID..."
"Here you go anyway."

He transfered one million credits from his banking account, then rushed to Manhattan to purchase that Liberty Police ID.

---

Sig made by Jazz

[Zasalamel]

Fort Rosado, Planet Houston.

Blam blam blam blam!!!

"Now I want each one of y'all to get down on the- PORCH monkey KIKE! ground!"

A couple Rogues were assaulting the city.

Kent fired some ammo at them, taking out one.

"C'mon, lets chase 'im back to the-"

Kent ran to his ship, and so did the Rogues.

There was a large low-altitude chase.

The leader of the Rogues, which was under the influence of Cardamine, lost control of his body, his ship started to skim the ground.

"P*ssy fart!"

His entire ship exploded, sending out a piece of debris rolling at high speeds toward Kent's ship.

"Holy........... sh*t!" said one of the Rogues as they started to skim the ground.

He bailed out, and hit his head on a rock.

The other Rogue bailed out too, hitting the enormous piece of rock that was through the other Rogue's head.

"Woo, that was one chase" said Kent.

---

Sig made by Jazz