Sender: Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron | Carrier: TBH channel | Encrypted: Si
Cambridge cows
We've suffered enough, my hermanos TBH.
Our patrols are reporting Bretonians are moving their fleets from south to north, leaving their finest Cambridge cows to us. They left only that loco Admiral Hall, that is apparently more busy collecting bulbs from local stores, than guarding a planet. And we know mucho well what nice things Cambridge cow is good for:
- making milk tequila,
- finest cheese to go with Jamón ibérico
- milk with NUTELLA sandwiches (or milk with empty bread and picture of Nutella on the plate, caramba),
- cuddling, when no goats around,
- chili sausages (if refusing to cuddle, or to be milked, or both).
However, to boost your will to bring more cows to Crete, Elders, in their wisdom, decided to reward each TBH with pesetos:
1. For wasted BAF or HMS ship ... 5M credits (picture needed as proof)
2. For stealing a cow ... additional 5M credits (picture of Cambridge and you doing *stealing a cow*, after your kill)
Our total fund is 200M credits, so knock your selves out. You can post your SHORT kill reports on this frequency, as we never use it for fleet coordination anyway.
Muchos gracias,
Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron
Chief de la Policía Imperial
Sender: Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron | Carrier: TBH channel | Encrypted: Si
If you want it to be done...
Caramba! Do I have to do all by my glorious self?
But, ok. We are fine now. Mighty Armada came in, demolished pretty weak Cambridge defences and we stole a lot of cows. I ordered we should leave some, so they can multiply until we get hungry again. As a matter of fact, I did not take any cows for myself, but I took a goat. I'll call it Michelle, in honour of my respected enemy. I'd prefer I could name a goat after that George Hall, but there was no trace of him last days.
I hope he's ok and there's nothing to worry about. North Bretonia is dangerous place nowadays and totally not nice and warm like here at Cambridge. Maybe he went to fetch a tea. Or bulbs, as he was mucho obsessed with them lately.
However, it's my duty now to report my personal glorious efforts in this mission. Nothing less I expect from other Hermanos. Reports as follows.
Si. Her pretty head was almost cut off. I guess she was setting her make-up and unexpectedly stumbled over my plasma.
Thanks to my well known skills, I gloriously managed through HMSs canny defence fire and placed some plasma balls
under this Dunkirk's ribbs. Sound was like cracking a shrimp, Santa Muerte be merciful to el souls of this crew.
That's me stealing a goat. I decided to leave some cows on Cambridge, as I was kindly
explained they need cows because of tea without milk sucks. Loco Bretonians...
That would be 15.000.000,00 pesetos for me, gracias. We can move now back to milking Nomcows.
Muchos gracias,
Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron
Chief de la Policía Imperial
Sender: Luciano Vasquez, The Brotherhood Location: Planet Crete, Sparta Encryption: Mucho strong Recipient: El Mighty Armarda, Brave El Comisario Pepe Ladron Topic: Cambridge Raids
Saludos El Comisario Pepe,
I am glad to see you leading our El Mighty Armarda by example, you will find your bonus' wired to your account now. I will keep this bonus open for another week in case our hermanos do any more raiding, but our forces in Xi need reinforcements, so we shall need to move El Mighty Armarda there soon.