A long, long, very long, even longer than super awesome long time ago...
In a Galaxy far, far, man I swear REALLY far away...
Totally not in Sirius and in the now...
*Ding-dong!* "Huuuh?"
It was one of those days that started with yawning and a hangover.
Like every other day did for Sarah Willows.
Sort of.
[color=#FFFFFF]*Ding-dong!* "The **** is going o..."
When Willows turned her head around she kind of... uh... realized where she was again.
Namely in her house on Los Angeles. Well, house was one way to say it.
The place kind of had the reputation of a strip club.
Anyway, she remembered what she had been doing before she fell asleep last night... or morning...
Time doesn't really matter when your life is one huge party the size of Zeus' fat arse...
*Ding-dong!* "Oooh... my head..."
One could say as much that seeing that other woman laying next to her, in her bed, naked, kind of helped her a lot with remembering what had happened... again? Again.
"Good morning sunshine..."
Didn't help her remember the woman's name though.
*DING-DONG!*
Saved by the bell.
"Oh for ****'s sake..." "Ugh! Who the hell comes to your house that early in the morning?!"
Willows didn't know.
Well, she didn't care much either, 'cause she was busy glancing at the woman's body...
And telling herself she really made a nice catch...
...until she kind of tried to remember her name again.
*DING-FRAKKIN'-DONG!*
Saved by the bell again? COINCIDENCE OR DIVINE INTERVENTION?
Find out next week on... wait, that's the wrong script.
Moving on.
"Ain't got a damn clue, I'll take a look and then kick the son of a bitch's ass."
The woman couldn't help but giggle.
"Okay darling, but if you'd just make the ringing stop, that'd be good enough."
A sweet kiss and a few steps later she was there, at the door.
*DING-OPEN-THE-FRAKKIN'-DOOR-DONG!*
Whip in hand - she loved her whip - she slooowly opened it...
"I swear I'm going to kick your mother****ing ar..." "Mornin' Boss."
...to see MacElroy standing there. Her former... XO, SiC, Adjutant - something.
"MAC!"
If there had been any rage in her a moment before, now it was gone.
Thanks to the sight of that man as he was standing there, tall, muscular, strong, long red beard waving in the morning breeze, Liberty Navy uniform fitting tight and a broad grin on his face.
"'Lo lassie. Ain' seen ye in a fair dam' while. Got news fer ye." "Oh shut up with that, come in and lemme give you a hug!"
He did shut up, walk in, and then closed the door.
"Easy la..."
And she almost made him fall over when she jumped on him and threw her arms around his neck.
It kind of made him uncomfortable for some reason.
Well, one particular reason actually.
"Ho, easy, easy... people might get ideas." "Huh?"
She raised an eyebrow and watched him look down...
"Oh."
...at her, well, not-so-covered feminine figure.
"Wouldye mind putting somethin' on first?" "Uhm... yeah... err..."
It was only now as she noticed her and the certain lady's clothes being scattered across the entire living room.
"That might take a while." "No rush lass, 'ah got news afterall." "Good or bad?"
Getting dressed would take a while... it was hard to remember which of the stuff on the ground was hers, and which wasn't.
"'Ah dinnae, depends on how ye look at it."
In her head, a *click* was heard.
"What the hell does he want again?"
Did I mention that once it clicked, she entered Fury-Mode?
Or that "he" was no other than Liberty Navy Admiral David Hale?
"I'm out of the Navy, I resigned, finished the last chapter and closed the book, ****ed off, walked out of the club, god ****ing dammit I'M OUT OF THERE!" "Whoa, lassie, relaaax, I'm just the messen..." *BONK!*
I think I forgot to mention that she had picked up a shoe and that she had a strong arm too, huh?
"By Zeus' fat arse, the hell'd I do to you lass?!"
Mac just happened to be the target of opportunity... well until he said that.
"I'M NOT GOING TO GO INTO THAT GODDAMN HELLHOLE AGAIN!"
She would've picked up her whip, but she kind of left that at the door earlier when she jumped on Mac.
Luckily there were always shoes to rely on.
And oh god, aside from those on the floor, she had plenty!
"Lassie, hear me out! I'm not 'ere to drag ye back in! 'Ah swear!"
It did sound kind of convincing to her.
Might've just been that he had dropped to his knees and raised his arms in defense, though.
"Fine. FIIINE!"
Dropping whatever clothes and shoes she was holding she started to walk over to the kitchen...
"But coffee first. Else I risk murdering you."
Fun fact: When she says she "risks" doing something bad to someone, it means she'll propably do it if her demands aren't met.
"Sure lass, sure, but 'ah am jus' the messenger, ain' here to force ye anywhere or somethin', realley!"
She just muttered something about a hangover the size of a moon and walked on.
Didn't take too long and both were sitting in the kitchen, smoking cigarettes... well, "special" cigarettes if you catch my drift, over cups of hot and tasty White Moccha Cappuchino. Mmmh, DELICIOUS!
"So what's the deal?"
Mac wasn't really sure if he should talk when he looked at her expressionless face, her stare focused on the cup in her hand.
It scared him when she serious'd.
"Uh... weeell..." "Say it."
That old familiar feeling of regret crawled up his back, but he really had no choice.
Well okay, he could've ran away, but that's another story for another dimension where Nathan MacElroy is not some hardcore former Molly Pirate with guts, a spine, and balls of steel.
And damn, he has a really impressive red beard going there, but that's not important... I think.
"Lass, Davey wants you back in the service."
She just kept staring at the cup. Mac still didn't know if that was a good or bad sign.
"He wants to hand you one of 'em Overlord Dreads they's refittin' at 'Folk.
That an' your old complete command authoritey."
Willows just raised an eyebrow and took another sip of the hot and tasty liquid.
"He'd like ye to act as some kind o' backup in 'em core systems for one."
Nothin' dangerous, just sittin' there an' lookin' pretty, y'know." "So what's the catch?" "'Ah reckon there ain' any." "That ain't like him. What else?" "Well, he been sayin' you'd have a free selection of 'em Rookies at ye disposal, yanno.
He'd like ye to whip 'em into shape, new crews an' all for 'em ships out 'dere at the front.
That'd be the secon' thing."
She started to twirl a wisp of her hair around her finger a bit as she thought about it.
"Pay?"
Money ain't much of a concern when you're rich and can afford a house on L.A., but she liked to be greedy.
More out of spite than anything else.
"Ol' standard. Commodore's salary if ye wan' call it that." "Shoreleave?" "As much as ye will, lassie. As much as ye will. Ye would jus' be the backup. Full authoritey, but no full fleet duty." "Anything else I should know?" "Ye'd have to oversee the refit of the ship in question." "Which?" "One of the ol' never completed ones we 'ad sittin' in Virgina for years.
Dreadnought LDX-247 or summit was the number." "Ship with no name?" "Aye. Davey figured you'd give it one." "How far are they with the whole refit?" "Ain' half done, so there's gon' be plenty o' time fer ye to decide."
She grinned.
A nearly brand-new ship so to say, free choice in crew, sitting at the bridge and being the big boss again.
Not to mention the potential for extreme amounts of glorious arsekicking.
And lots and lots of free time.
Oh, and the possiblity to get her hands on some more suspicious "toys" being trafficked out there in space, of course.
Baby, THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES!
But she'd need someone competent at her side, someone who'd get **** done and not **** around.
An honest, reliable and loyal man who'd fill the XO spot.
"Mac?"
That lovely and damn attractive wry smile that come over her face as she stared into his eyes could make any man (and most women) in the Universe do -everything- for her.
"Aye lass?" "I'll need an XO."
He sure as hell didn't regret it anymore.
And he sure as hell couldn't have wiped the grin off his face even if he had wanted it.
So he just emptied the cup in one go, stood up and saluted.
"Ye got 'un, Boss." "Then let's get this show on the road!"
Both walked out of the kitchen when Mac suddenly noticed something kind of... obvious.
"Errr... lass?" "Yeah?"
He just pointed at her.
"Oh."
She was still kind of... naked. And very sexy but... err, nevermind.
"That reminds me... could you just like..." "Pickup in two?" "Yeah, pick me up in two hours Mac." "Who's it this time?" "Uuuh..." "You forgot the name again?"
She just looked down at her feet when he continued in a very serious tone.
"Some day lass, some day that gon' backfire at ye."
They looked eachother in the eye and... burst into laughter.
"N[color=#99FF99]aaa, no way in hell!" "And not in this life!" "But really lass, try to remember else you'll make 'er feel bad." "How'd you know it's a..."
He picked up the shoe she threw at him earlier and pointed at it.
"Red? Ain' your style. Looks ****e on ye too." "Son of a..." "Easy easy, you can kick my arse later. Now go an' do ye thing." "Mac, some day..." "'Ah know lass, now go. I'll pick ye up in two."
A soft sigh of hers later Mac left the house and she went back to the bedroom with a smile.
The lady in her bed caught her eye again... as most pretty ladies do.
"Who was it?" "Just a friend."
The lady yawned a bit and rolled over to look at her.
"Work?" "Yeah. In two hours." "Plenty of time..."
Both were grinning as she laid down on the bed next to her, as she'd put it, "latest catch".
"Tricia." "Huh?" "I didn't even tell you my name last night." "Oh... err..."
She couldn't help but blush.
"You thought you forgot?" "Yeah..."
Tricia started to giggle and smacked her with a pillow. OOOH PILLOWFIGHT! WOO!
(Somewhere, a Copperhead suddenly showed signs of life as I wrote that.)
"Dolt!" "Oh you little..."
And I think you can picture the rest.
What? You thought I'd give you an in-depth sex scene?
Jeez, people these days.
A long ass ****in' time ago, in a town called Kickapoo...
There lived a humble family, rel...
[color=#CCFFFF]Oh wait, wrong song.
Err, anyway, on we go.
[color=#FFCCFF]"You'll find the way?"
[color=#FFFF99]"Yeah, don't worry darling."
Tricia groped Willows' rear-end and kissed her on the cheek on her way out.
"Bye Tricia! And thanks for helping me pack!" "No problem! See you next week!"
Her eyes focused on Tricia until she disappeared around a corner and walked off into the distance.
Willows hadn't even noticed the tall young man in the Navy uniform who had slowly walked up to her doorstep.
"Commodore Willows?" "Huh... wha?"
He greeted her with a sharp salute.
"Lieutenant Presley, ma'am.
Commander MacElroy sends his apologies, he had to depart for Norfolk due to an emergency which requires his immediate attention.
I am here to pick you up instead." "Drew the short straw?" "Ma'am?" "Driver duty. Not what fighterjocks usually do."
She pointed at the Pilot's Wings on his uniform and he just sighed.
"Yeah... drew the short one... ma'am." "I'm packing light. Get the junk in the trunk and let's get going."
Now she pointed at... six really large and heavy-looking suitcases behind her.
And a small duffle bag.
"Packing light, ma'am?" "Yup." "Ma'am, no offense, but are you sure?" "No, I'm just ****in' with ya."
He sighed with relief.
Playing pack mule for a superior officer was something he hadn't done since basic training, and he didn't want to have to do that again.
"OF COURSE I'M SURE, YOU IDIOT!
IF YOU EVER WANT TO SIT IN A COCKPIT AGAIN THEN GET 'EM INTO THE CAR SO WE CAN HEAD TO NORFOLK ASAP, SOLDIER"
Unfortunately for him Willows posessed the communicative qualities of a Drill Sergeant at this point.
"Y-Yes ma'am! As you w-wish ma'am!"
It's always fascinating to see what some good old-fashioned yelling can do for a young man's motivation.
This particular one didn't even need one whole minute to get the six cases and the duffle bag stashed safely inside the trunk of the black limousine.
New record? I think so.
She, however, was inside within the blink of an eye once she remembered that those things usually came with a minibar.
Oh she would have her fun with that one, she thought as he sat down in the driver's seat.
Especially after her appointment with Nurse Vodka and Doctor Whiskey.
Speaking of which...
"Drink?" "Ma'am?"
He wasn't sure about what to make of this situation and just stared at the rear-view mirror as he closed the door and started the engine.
And there he saw her, a glass of Whiskey in hand, reaching for him.
Drinking? At 9 o'clock in the morning? While on duty? THIS IS MADNESS!
"Drink or not?" "Ma'am, I'm on duty." "So?" "It's 9 o'clock." "And?" "I'm supposed to drive, ma'am."
Err, wait... I meant... HELLS YESSS!
"You want me to order you to do it?" "Whaaat?" "THAT'S 'MA'AM, WHAT MA'AM', NOT JUST 'WHAT', SOLDIER.
NOW EITHER YOU'RE GOING TO DRINK WHILE DRIVING, OR YOU'LL BE CLEANING TOILETS ABOARD THE MISSOURI, DIP****!"
Question of the day: Would you rather piss off Willows, or drive a car real fast with an alcohol level according to which you should be twice dead already?
"M-M-Ma'am yes ma'am, I'll drink and drive ma'am!"
What he would never know was that he had just made the worst decision of his life.
Well, he wouldn't remember, rather.
I mean, you know, wouldn't remember all the things he would do later that day that fell under the whole, uh, "sexual harassment" category.
I suppose groping an Admiral's butt and calling him a "Sexy Beast" after having redefined the term "being drunk" isn't really good for one's career.
Aaaanyway.
A couple minutes and far too many glasses - and I mean tall, half-litre glasses - of Vodka and Whiskey later, the limousine arrived at the nearest Navy-run landing pad.
Out stepped Willows...
"Ma...*hic*...eh, mean, SARAAAH! I LOVE YOU SAAARAAAAAAH!"
...and a half-naked Lieutenant Presley stumbled out aswell.
*THUD!*
To land face-first on the ground in order to take a nap.
Few seconds later, she was being greeted by who appeared to be the pilot of the nearby-parked Grizzly shuttle.
"Ma'am, I'm Lieutenant Stark.
I've been instructed to fly you to Norfolk immediately."
Tall, blonde, rather skinny... not exactly her type, but the Willows wasn't too picky when it came to the young ladies.
"Sounds like a plan Lieutenant. How about you help me with my gear? My driver..." "SAAARAAA..."
Both watched as poor Presley tried to stand up...
*BONK!*
...and hit his head against the car's door after tripping over his own feet.
"He's kinda... indisposed."
He would wake up a few hours later with the idea of paying that certain aforementioned Admiral a visit.
So, where was I?
Oh yeah.
Both now walked towards the limousine and Willows opened the trunk.
"I'm packing light."
Lieutenant Stark just raised an eyebrow as she noticed the six suitcases.
"Packing light, ma'am?"
And after hearing that, Willows just -knew- that she would sooo have her fun with this one!
Oh... err... before you ask, she was not naked the entire time.
This time on "The sexual adventures of Sarah Willows" we feature:
BLASPHEMY!
MADNESS!
SPARTA!
[color=#CCFFFF]Well we don't, I lied.
Anyway, on we go.
A couple hours later, aboard the shuttle, somewhere between Los Angeles and Norfolk...
[color=#FFCC99]"Oooh, that tickles!"
Yeah, you get where this is going.
[color=#FFCCFF]"Mmmh..."
Yep, exactly that direction.
"Sooo... ungh... so good!" "I knew you'd like it!"
Oh yeah, baby.
"God... Sarah you're so..." "Sssh... just enjoy my dear, just enjoy it."
We got us a sex scene!
"Oh... Oh god! Yes! Don't stop!" "Oh you naughty little thing you..."
JAAACKPOOOT!
"...so naughty!" "Mmmh... Sarah..." "And so delicious!"
*hits the Fast Forward button by accident*
OSHI---
---alking on sunshine, wooohooo, I'm walking on sunshineee...
Oh.
Ooops?
Hi there?
So yeah... ahem... riiight...
Another couple hours later the shuttle was just arriving at Norfolk.
And guess what?
Because I'm not going to go into detail about how the thing slowly flies in and lands and such, I'll just skip to the next part.
No, I'm not going to cover my laziness by teasing you with the idea of a sex scene just so you don't notice it either.
MOVING ON!
The shuttle landed and the entry hatch promptly swung open to reveal Willows and Lieutenant Stark - from now on referred to as Annie - who was standing right behind her.
"Sarah..."
Yeap. That's our protagonist's name.
Atleast when she ain't on some trip, because she has the tendency to believe she's Queen Carina then.
"Yes Annie?" "You won't tell anyone that..." "...we had a highly controversial political discussion over some delicious tea and biscuits on the way here?"
Annie averted her gaze, trying not to show that she was blushing, red like an Outcast Tomato.
"I won't, my delicious Annie."
Said with a wink as she stepped closer to her... latest catch? Latest catch.
"I could really get in trouble if anyon..." "Sssh, relaaax.
Ain't no trouble I couldn't handle."
Willows just pointed at the small pin on her jacket, the one that clearly showed she was an Admiral of the <strike>Lulzerty</strike>... Liberty Navy.
"Alright... thanks honey!" "Oh you..."
-> INSERT HOT KISSING ACTION HERE! <-
"...I won't tell.
Just don't call me that when other people are around... might ruin my image." "Of course not, Admiral."
Annie saluted with a lovely grin on her face.
Willows just smiled back at her before she turned around on her heel and stepped on the deck...
"Boss!" "Mac!" "Glad yer 'ere lass, we 'ad some problems... you better go an' see for yeself." "That bad, huh?" "'Fraid so, Boss." "You lead the way."
Mac just nodded and quickly started to walk, Sarah closely after him.
It didn't take long for them to reach an observation hallway from which they could see the Dreadnought's starboard side.
"See what I mean, lass?" "Oh, **** ME!"
If you were real and not just some figment of my imagination, I mig... err.
A giant hole one could fit a Gunboat or two in decorated the ship's starboard midsection.
As if that wasn't enough, there was fire.
Oh the hotness...
"How the hell did..." *BANG BOOM BADABANG!*
A colossal pillar of fire tore its way out of the hole, followed by an enormous explosion that sent debris flying everywhere and even made the entire drydock shake.
"Ugh... god dammit..."
Oh yeah, and made her fall on her ass.
"You alright lass?"
Mac helped her up... such a gentleman!
"Yeah... I'm fine.
Now what the **** was that?" "Must've been the remaining fuel in 'um reserve tanks.
We's been havin' trouble since earlier t'day, right after I left ye." "How the hell can one of those damn things explode like that?
I know the damn blueprints of those things, they're built to withstand goddamn Antimatter at point-blank..." "Lass, that they did." "Whaddaya mean, they did?"
The confusion was clearly visible on her face.
"Ye remember how I said that thing been sittin' in Virginia?" "Yeah, and?" "An' how it never got finished?" "Get to the point Mac." "She a trainin' ship, lass." "Eh?" "Target practice."
Fury-Mode, here we come!
"Oh god ****ing dammit!
That son of a bitch!
I knew there was a damn catch! I KNEW IT!
He gave me a goddamn motherfu..." "Aye Boss, a rustbucket." "OH SHUT UP!"
If Mac had been a <strike>Cylon Centurion</strike> - eh, Robot of sorts, he would've had a message pop up in his head like:
- WARNING! INCOMING BACKHAND! -
*SMACK!*
But yeah, ex-Molly and so on.
You know, human and such.
Fleshy. Squishy. Meatbag.
I mean, he was rubbing his cheek now.
She did have a strong arm afterall.
"That 'urt." "It better did." "Sorry?"
She just grumbled.
"He couldn't find a piece of junk in even worse shape, could he?" "Ye know how it goes lass, 'em new 'uns and 'em good 'uns go straight to the front." "And we get the leftover scraps." "Aye."
They stared at eachother.
He looked sad, she looked mad.
A perfect match.
"Some things..." "...never change."
They tried to surpress the laughter and kept staring for a second...
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!"
...but that didn't really help.
"Oh Mac... same old story!"
She said that with tears in her eyes, really.
"Aye Boss, same ol'.
Reckon we can get 'er on the roll?" "We're the Navy Mac, there anything we can't do?" "Point, lass."
Oh, you know, aside from conquering whole Sirius and other such stupid things there really is as good as nothing the Liberty Navy can't do.
Well okay, the cooking classes they offer on West Point are a bit... sub-par.
I mean, MREs and such... but you don't go to West Point to become a five-star cook, si?
"How's she look on the inside?" "Barely anythin' in there 'sides from dust.
Like a brothel on Pittsburgh a week after ye came to visit."
That brought a grin on her face.
"Quarters?" "Safe an' dull. Engineers an' Maintenance Crews're already there.
Mostly Norfolk's, few of ours.
Figured I'd let you pick as many as ye can." "Sounds good. Think we can move in?"
Am I the only one who thinks it's a bit suicidal to move into a Dreadnought that had a giant hole torn into its hull just a few hours ago?
One that had just have its fuel reserves go all "BAMBALAAAM"?
"Already got my junk over there." "Great. Arrange for 'em to ship mine over, Captain's Quarters."
Apparently, I am.
"Mean, arrange for the blonde from earlier to ship ye gear over?" "How'd y..." "Lass, how long do ye know me?" "Coupla' years..." "And did 'ah ever not know?"
She tried hard to remember one instance of Mac not reading her mind somehow...
"Not once."
...and failed.
"What's 'er name anyway?" "Uh..." "You forgot? That fast? Oh lassie..." "Annie!"
Mac was... surprised. Shocked, even.
"Her name's Annie. Or Anna Stark." "You din' forget fer once." "Only some things never change, Mac."
There, remember that wry smile on her face from way earlier?
Yup, here it was again.
"Still don' fail ta' surprise me, lass." "Would be boring if I didn't." "Aye... say, what's with that thing by the way?"
He pointed at the Admiral's pin.
"Oh. Thought it might speed some things up." "If Hale ge..." "What? He'll kick me out of the Navy?"
Mac's turn to grin.
"Fair do's, Admiral." "Oh you. Shut up and let's get to work.
And don't forget my gear!" "How much did ye bring this time?" "I'm packing light." "Oooh!"
You know that shine in people's eyes when they like just won the lottery or dug out some secret treasure? Picture that in the eyes of that red-bearded buffet of manliness called Nathan MacElroy.
"Enough to last for a while." "'Ah bet, lassie."
A moment later they parted ways to go get some work done.
What kind of work? Hell if I know, I'm just cutting that bit here.
Follow me as I enter the dark halls of the infamous A.D.M.I.N. sect of Sirius...
A den of pure evil, filled with the thoughts of the darkest minds the Universe has ever seen... Korrd says: Could you stop with that Ench? Cannon says: I don't mind if she does it. Virus says: You could just call it the Admin Cafe, you know... JihadJoe says: Anyone got arrows for my BanBow? Dusty Lens says: OLOL ARROWSPAMMER! Korrd says: *hands Joe arrows* Virus says: Should've given him a sword. Korrd says: We're out of swords. JihadJoe says: Got a whip? I got the whip you dolt. Korrd says: But you can't use it. Yet. Dusty Lens says: My whip's better. Virus says: Oh not another Copperhead reference again! Athenian says: Could we just get to our secret Admin Conspiracy business? Virus says: Got to make clear who does sanctions this week first. Korrd says: I'm going to pick someone to volunteer. Dusty Lens says: How the fux can you PICK someone to volunteer? Cannon says: I think Lens wants to. Korrd says: Congratulations, we have a winner! Dusty Lens says: OSHI--- *poofs* Pwnt. JihadJoe says: Ench? Yeah? JihadJoe says: <3 AWWW!
CUTENESS! Majkp says: Conspiracy now? Virus says: Yeah. Korrd says: Let's start with lag. Athenian says: Wasn't that Dusty's job? Korrd says: LEEENS? Dusty Lens says: (>^.^(>O_o)> Oh no, not buttsecks again! D: Majkp says: Dusty, you ain't distributing enough of your Cupcake Baking Videos over the server. Virus says: Yeah, not enough people moaning about lag thanks to your lack of porn. Cannon says: More Pirates XXX for the masses please. JihadJoe says: Say... uh... guys? Korrd says: Yeah? Dusty Lens says: Wut? JihadJoe says: We're being watched. Dusty Lens says: H4X! Korrd says: Ench could you make your pretty ass useful and distract everyone with your erotica while we conspire here? IT'S NOT EROTICA!
IT'S A SERIOUS RP STORY! JihadJoe says: ORLY? YARLY! Cannon says: NOWAI! O_o; Athenian says:
O o
/?////________________________ ____ __________________________ ___/
| SHOOP DA WHOOP! I'M A FIRIN MAH LAZOOR! BLAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH
\_\\\\??? Virus says: Enchies, plox? :3 Fine.
*coughs*
Where were we?
Oh yeah... another couple hours later, aboard the Dreadnought, in Willows' quarters...
[color=#99FF99]"So, whaddaye think, Boss?"
[color=#FFCCFF]"Ain't seen a worse bucket in the last five years."
Does that sound like a good start?
"The reactors are junk, outdated, haven't seen proper maintenance in years, the flightdeck's got more holes in it than our legal system, the whole weapons grid is basically fried...
Then there's that king-size hole we got midships and, god damn WHAT THE **** IS THAT SMELL?" "You haven't showered since you came here, Boss." "Oh hell. That reminds me. The showers are broken on the entire ship.
But hey, we got a damn Hydroponics deck for some reason." "Aye, we do. Ye tried the stuff growin' there?" "Outcast Tomatos?" "Uhm... aye?" "THE **** DO I NEED TO GROW TOMATOS ON A DAMN WARSHIP FOR?!" "Whoa, lassie, rela..."
*WHIPCRACK!*
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO RELAX, DON'T YOU ****ING THINK ABOUT IT.
THIS BUCKET IS SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE IN SPACE IN A MONTH AND THE ONLY DAMN THING THAT AIN'T COMPLETELY BROKEN ON IT IS A GODDAMN GLORIFIED GARDEN!"
Fury? Rage? Bloodlust? Willows with a whip?
Yeah, this -is- a good start.
"But lassie, we can fix all that, I mean once you..." "ONCE I WHAT? WORK MY MAGIC? FLICK MY FINGERS AND HAVE A MIRACLE OCCUR?"
Mac wasn't overly happy with the sight of his superior officer and close friend being enraged like that.
He didn't want to get whipped either, so he did what every other beast of a man would've done in that situation.
"S-S-Sarah... P-P-lease, just listen f-f-for a secon', willye?"
He got on his knees and begged.
"FINE!"
Slamming her whip on the table between them, she sat down and leaned back in the overly comfortable, fluffy, and oooh so soft Captain's chair.
"Look, D-D-Dave said that ye can do anythin', literally anythin' ye want with the thing to get it goin', aye?" "Oh really. That's a nice way of saying 'Hey Sarah, how about you work your ass off and get frustrated over and over again while I get all the fame and credit for your work as usual?
Oh and do me a favor and don't piss off anyone while you do it, wouldya?'
No thanks, Mac. This ain't my..."
What would happen now was a damn rare sight, and it was one both wouldn't forget for a long, long time.
That might have something to do with the chances for it to happen being close to zero.
Mac stood up...
"Admiral Willows,..."
...put on a dead-serious face...
"...Admiral Hale wants this ship in operational condition in thirty days..."
...leaned over the table...
"Now either ye stop bein' a goddam' bitch about it, then do yer goddam' job..."
...and proceeded to verbally...
"...and show 'im that ye still got the means an' guts to do it jus' like years ago, or 'ah swear by ma' beard..."
...smack the everloving **** out of her.
"...'ah will giVE YER PRETTY LIL' BUTT THE SPANKIN' OF YER GODDAM' WORTHLESS LIFE YOU LIL' ARSEBANDIT!
DID 'AH MAKE M'SELF CLEAR YE FRAGGIN' CUMDUMPSTER, OR DO YE WANT ME TO CHISEL IT INTO YER THICK SKULL?"
So you know: There's few things that can scare or intimidate Willows in this universe. Nathan MacElroy swearing, by his beard, to do something bad to her is one of those.
I think you can imagine an expression of pure shock on her face now.
"DID 'AH MAKE M'SELF CLEAR?"
He slammed his fist on the quite impressive mahogany table to get her out of her shocked state.
"Y... Yes... Yes Mac, you did. And you're right."
Who would've thought it would work?
"Let's just get this damn bucket moving again and show everyone we can still keep up with the best of 'em."
She still was a little shocked, but the rage from earlier was gone... quite a good thing, since she had a semi-clear head now.
"Dam' straight lass, let's do that."
Mac stepped back and sat down on an equally comfy chair on the other side of the table.
"Now 'ah toldye, Davey's been sayin' ye can do anythin' with this rustbucket.
An' that means..." "That I can, like, get anything I want in terms of... gear and other junk..." "Aye."
The thing is, when you tell Willows she can do anything she wants with something, then the chances are high that she will end up doing some real crazy stuff with it.
And I mean the 'Koala bears surfing on waves made out of chocolate rainbows in your head' kind of crazy.
"Maaac..." "Aye?"
There was a devilish grin on her face now...
"I'm getting ideas."
...which caused shivers to run down Mac's spine.
"Oh lass, please not that again." "What, his fault for saying 'anything', no?" "Aye, but..." "No but, you enjoyed your post on the Durango just as much as I did mine." "Don' ye think he'll have aney, an' y'know, by that 'ah mean -lots- of objections?" "His fault?"
Rhetorical question, of sorts.
"Aye... aye. 'Ah guess yer right."
He knew that whatever ideas she had would end up seeing the light of day one way or the other.
There was no way to stop her short of kicking her out of the Navy, and Mac wasn't in the position to do so.
He wouldn't have done it anyway, so he just sighed before he continued.
"So what're we startin' with, Boss?"
The scene was going to be interrupted in a second...
*Bonk-bonk!*
I figured that would be a better way to convey the sound of someone knocking on a bulkhead than *Knock-knock!*.
"Come in."
The bulkhead swung open to reveal Annie, and a couple Marines carrying Willows' suitcases behind her.
"Admiral, Commander."
Do I have to write that she saluted? I think that's kind of obvious but... MEH.
Anyway, that's what she did.
"At ease, Lieutenant. I see you found some help."
"Yes ma'am.
Figured they could make themselves more useful if they helped me instead of watching Tomatos grow."
Mac tried hard to supress his laughter, which earned him a scornful look from Willows.
"Good thinking. Dump the junk in the backroom." "Yes ma'am."
Annie motioned the Marines to follow her, which they did, visibly suffering from the suitcases' weight.
A couple moments later they walked out, made happier by the fact that they didn't have to be pack mules any longer.
"Lieutenant Stark?" "Yes ma'am?" "There'd be something I'd like to talk about with you in private."
Annie closed the bulkhead after ordering the Marines back to their posts with a slightly confused look on her face.
"Ma'am, what's the matter?"
Willows grinned and turned towards Mac.
"How about we start out with something refreshing, Mac?" "'Ah won' let ye tell me that twice, Boss."
Mac wandered off into the backroom, leaving a now very confused Annie together with a very... uh... Willows-y Willows?
Oh hell, I'm out of words already. AAANYWAY!
"Ma'am?" "No no, not ma'am, right now I'm just Sarah, darling." "What're you going to do?" "Just relax, have a seat, and wait for Mac." "Okaaay..."
Annie sat down and kept on looking confused... and quite pretty. Sexy. Tasty. Delici... err.
You get the idea.
"BY ZEUS' ARSE!"
That was Mac, screaming out of the backroom and making Annie jump.
"Told you I'm packing light!" "Ha, light Sarah? I can't wait to see ye come by an' packin' 'eavy!" "What's going o..." "Sssh."
Willows had walked over to Annie and now put a finger over her lips.
"Nothing to worry about, just a surprise darling." "An' a damn fine one lassie!"
Mac walked back in, bottles of... Why hello there, Nurse Vodka and Doctor Whiskey!
"Drinking? But I'm still on du..." "...on duty, helping the Admiral to get accustomed to her new post?
You're right, my dear, you are."
Mac was grinning at the scene as he put the bottles on the table and walked into the backroom to get more.
"And helping me get accustomed implies that you help me feel better, no?" "Yeah... I guess..." "Well, I think some alcohol, or maybe a little party, would make me feel better...
How about you Mac?"
He had walked back in by now, another two bottles of fine Coalition Vodka and the best Molly Whiskey there was in hand.
"'Ah think we could use a bit o' fun after a long day's work, lass."
Annie wasn't confused anymore... she was grinning at Willows instead...
"Well I'd never refuse an order from such a lovely Admiral as you are, honey."
...and so was Mac.
"Nice catch, lass." "You'd wonder."
Said with a wink. Hurr hurr.
Later that day... well, that night, the entire deck would be filled with shiny, happy people and veeery loooud music.
And tomorrow, witnesses would report that after walking around on the ship for a bit, they were overcome with the familiar feeling of having just walked into a strip club on Denver.
[color=#FFFFFF]*Beep-beep!* "Mmmh... where the hell am I..."
Yawning and a hangover?
*Beep-beep!* "It wasn't a dream..."
Yup, another day in the life of Sarah Willows was just about to start...
*Beep-beep!* "Oh **** me..."
...with her waking up, yawning, being hungover...
"Mmmh... not again Sarah... later... pleaaase..."
...and laying next to a lovely lady in her bed.
"Huh... oh. Good morning Annie."
Hey, atleast she still remembered.
"Morning honey... what time is it?" *Beep-beep!*
Turning her head to face the clock and shutting off the alarm, Willows noticed one very important thing.
"It's way too ****ing early." "Ugh... I don't want to get up..." "You don't have to, but I do." "Huh?"
She just flashed that wry smile of hers at Annie, who was rubbing her eyelids and looking confused in an oh so adorable way.
"I'm saying, you're ordered to stay in bed, sleep, and generally be lazy until I return, Lieutenant Stark." "Mmmh... okay honey. I'll do." "Good girl."
Didn't take more than a little kiss and a couple of moments and Annie was asleep again.
Willows on the other hand walked over to the bathroom and took a long look in the mirror.
"Oh man, bad hair day."
She wasn't pleased with what she saw. Her hair was a royal mess, and she just looked like she had slept for maybe half an hour.
After three days of partying non-stop.
Yeap, partying hard was really her thing, if you didn't guess that by now.
While muttering something to herself about wake-up times in the Navy she did the usual thing.
Brushed her teeth, showered, got her - by now way too long - hair in order and prepared herself for work.
Which just meant getting dressed somewhat, putting on her Captain's Hat and smoking a fat one.
"Mmmh...
I smoke two joints in the morning...
I smoke two joints at night...
I smoke two joints in the afternoon...
And it makes me feel alright..."
Or two, rather.
*Beep-beep!*
That was the phone on her desk.
No, I'm not going to have it go "Ding-ding-dong!" like the Ding Dong Song.
Anyway, she answered it.
"Whoever's there, it can wait." "Nay, it cannae wait Boss."
Much to her dismay, she knew that when Mac said that, it really couldn't wait.
"What is it Mac?" "'Ah guess... err... well..." "Trouble?"
There's always trouble in Willows Country.
"Aye lass." "Good or bad?"
Now the question is: What is "good" trouble?
Will we ever find out? I don't know, I just go with the flow!
"Bad kind. 'Ah think last night 'ah messed up a lil'."
What happened last night again?
"Eh, weren't you at the party like everyone else?" "Nay, 'ah was at the bridge for a while, figured 'ah would take a stroll an' all." "And?" "Christey happened t'be nearby."
Oh look, it just clicked in her head.
Good thing about it: She just went from sleepy to fully awake.
Bad thing about it: She just realized that something had gone FUBAR, and that it involved her former...
Love interest. Sort of. Commodore... well not really.
Exotic Dancer Christina - or better: Christycupcakes - Robinson.
"The hell'd you do Mac?"
I suppose now would be a good time to mention that a certain drunk Commander doesn't tend to get on well with a certain Commodore.
For no apparent reason. (For teh Lulz? Or is there a mystery to be unveiled? HURRR!)
"'Ah din' do anything, lass. Was entirely her fault." "How'd you mean?" "Think at some poin' she jus' couldn' be bothered to talk t'me, so she wanted t'see ye." "And you told her what?" "That y'were at the partay."
Willows raised an eyebrow.
It didn't sound very troublesome so far.
I mean, sure, she did have that thought that Mac might've been talking about Christy's dressing habits and all.
Skimpy, tight-fitting minidresses simply weren't what you were supposed to wear in the Navy all-day long.
"So all you did was follow my orders, no?" "Weeell, ye could say that."
Well, it can't be that bad, can it?
"What the **** did you do?" "I din' do anything!" "What. The. Hell. Happened. Mac?"
Somehow she could hear him blush.
Yeah, I know, sounds weird. Call it a sixth sense or intuition or whatever.
"'Ah think 'ah sent the Durango to drydock.
An' some other boats too."
So much for "it can't be that bad".
"Maaac..." "Sorry lass, 'ah really am sorry."
Fury-mode, here we go! AGAIN!
"WHAT THE **** MADE YOU SEND THE DAMN DURANGO TO THE DRYDOCK?" "Err, lass..." "MAAAC! WHAT BY ZEUS' ARSE WERE YOU THINKING?" "B-b-but it wasn'..." "WASN'T WHAT? WASN'T PLANNED? WAS MAYBE SOME RANDOM JOKE? SOMETHING YOU DID OUT OF BOREDOM?" "Nay, it wasn't my..." "YOUR WHAT MAC? WASN'T YOUR DAMN INTENTION? YOUR GODDAMN PLAN? NOT YOUR IDEA MAYBE?" "It wasn't my fault! 'Ah swear by ma' beard it wasn't!"
Full stop.
"Whaddayamean, wasn't your fault?" "She started it."
A wide grin appeared on Willows' face now.
"You pissed her off?" "Maybey a lil', lass." "And you wrecked the Durango?" "Aye. And sent some other lads runnin' in a way." "Wrecked?" "Aye."
Oh baby, this was going to be an awesome day afterall.
"You did that with this bucket?" "Err... aye?" "Mac?" "Aaaye?" "I love the Navy."
That was her way of saying she loved Mac, more than anything else.
He couldn't help but laugh a bit.
"Oh lassie... so what's it we goin' to do?" "I think we're going to call Dave and make sure we get whatever we want."
Willows' logic. You'll understand later.
"Sounds like a plan, lass." "Yep. I'll be with you in a minute."
A moment later she hung up and walked back to the bedroom.
She didn't wake up Annie with her yelling, luckily, so she smiled and gave her a kiss on her forehead before she left her quarters...
...to be greeted by the Marine Sergeant who was supposed to guard her door.
Well, he was doing just that, with a bottle of Vodka in his hand.
"Sarah will do until you sober up, Sarge." "Awlryte, Adm... *hic* Sarah!"
Picture a man wearing a typical fully-armored combat suit.
Tall, muscular guy. Mean-looking. Five o'clock shadow.
A Plasma Rifle shouldered, and said bottle of Vodka in hand.
Still sounds okay, doesn't it?
"You 'ave any orders for me Sarah?" "How about you wipe that paint off and then make sure my Sleeping Beauty doesn't get disturbed?"
Now picture him covered in pink paint.
Don't ask why.
Just do it.
"Okay, I think I can do that. Uhm. Yeah. I think I can." "Good thing Sarge. Would suck if you couldn't."
She flashed a devilish grin which made a shiver run down the Sergeant's spine.
"Yeap, sure would.
Oh, say, uh, permission to speak freely?" "Granted." "You're lookin' damn fine this mornin', Sarah."
Aww, cute. It made her blush a little.
Seems she had managed to look good on this morning afterall.
"Oh Sarge. Just make sure she doesn't get woken up by some moron until I'm back." "Will do, Boss."
It only took a few minutes for her to make her way to the bridge.
The only things worth mentioning on the way were a lot of passed-out crew members, another lot who were either badly hungover, or still drinking.
A few whistled nonchalantly for some reason as she walked through the corridors of the Dreadnought.
Oh well, enough boring stuff.
She arrived at the bridge, only to be greeted by a saluting MacElroy.
"Boss." "Mac."
He raised an eyebrow for a second as he saw her enter.
"Bad hair day, lass?" "Yep." "Not cold?" "Nope." "Fine by me then."
That last line was followed by a shrug.
"You wan' a look at 'um transcripts from after the stunt last night?" "Why not."
The big man blushed a tiny bit, which didn't go unnoticed by her.
[color=#FFCCFF]"Yeah, you did.
Whatever. Time to make a call." "Aye. I'll connect ye."
After flinging away the clipboard over her shoulder, which was followed by her stretching her arms and yawning a little, she sat down in the Captain's Command Chair.
The "Hot Seat", as she liked to call it. Sitting down brought a faint yet beautiful smile to her face.
"Been a while, eh lass?" "Sure as hell Mac, sure as hell." "Ye ready?" "There any time I ain't?"
Both were grinning at eachother. It was kind of a heartwarming moment.
Somehow, sitting in that chair with Mac standing by her side made her feel at home in a most peculiar way.
"'Ere we go."
The huge holoscreen in front of her came to life, and a busy-looking Admiral David Hale, sitting behind a large Mahogany desk - decorated with fine Walnut inlays -,
obviously deeply focused on some papers scattered in front of him, appeared on the screen.
"Good morning, Admiral Willows."
He didn't even look up as he said that.
Willows however threw a scornful look at Mac before she spoke.
"Admiral Hale." "That's Fleet Admiral Hale now, Sarah." "Love you too, Dave." "I'm not in a mood for light-hearted humor, Sarah." "I ain't either." "You sent my ship to the drydock last night." "Wasn't my fault. Nor Mac's." "Robinson says other..." "**** her?"
Hale paused his paperwork, but still didn't bother to look up.
He just clenched his fist for a second instead.
"That's what your son does, they say." "Yeah yeah, whatever, he's a big boy now.
Anyway Dave, to business.
I'm going to work out a list of junk I need with Mac later.
I'll send it over once it's done, I just want to make sure the **** gets delivered here pron..." "You ain't going to get a damn thing until you've explain..." "Explained what, Dave?
That she can't get it in her head that I left her?
She fired on this bucket, 'cause of what?
'Cause Mac pissed her off a little?
He was off-duty as the rest of the damn crew, my orders.
And, despite everyone technically being off-duty, despite this here being the worst rustbucket you could find, the Durango was wrecked.
Along with some other poor sods' tin cans who had the great idea to side with her."
Hale just sighed. Somehow he had known this had been coming all along.
He closed his eyes and rubbed his eyelids, then leaned back and stared at the ceiling as he lit a cigarette.
"She shouldn't have given the order to fire and Mac shouldn't have pissed her off.
Both're guilty." "Doesn't change that this bucket wrecked your Secondary Flagship." "Did he really have to go all the way?" "He doesn't go all the way if it ain't absolutely necessary.
You know how... well, you know."
Mac pretended to not have heard what she just said.
Hale just kept staring at the ceiling, hands behind his head, cigarette between his lips.
"Yeah yeah, I know."
He sighed and rubbed his eyelids again.
"Send it over when you have it.
If that handful of men you've got aboard that rustbucket did that already, I can't wait to see how it'll go when it's all back in shape." "Thanks Dave!"
After taking a deep breath he looked at her...
"No prob... OH SWEET JESUS, WHY THE **** ARE YOU ONLY WEARING YOUR UNDERWEAR?"
...to see her there, sitting in the Hot Seat, only dressed in her bra and panties.
Well, and the Captain's Hat.
"What was that Dave? I can't hear you, the link must be breaking up..."
She motioned Mac to disconnect the communications link, which he promptly did.
"SARAH I SWEAR I'M GO---"
So much for business.
"So, what now lass?"
She stood up, walked over to Mac...
"Well, first thing..." *SLAP!*
...and slapped him on the cheek... gently.
"Ow... wait a secon'... that din' even hurt." "Yeah I know. You just did your job." "Ye ain' mad?" "Next time just mention you talked to him before I go into a conversation like that."
Well, Mac - and me too, for that matter - forgot to mention to her that he did have a nice in-space conversation with Hale last night.
Aside from the usual friendly chatter between two buffets of manliness, he did leak out that she had "promoted" herself to the rank of Admiral.
But anyway, DEEETAAAILS!
"Will do, lass, promise."
She scowled for a moment, but really, she couldn't be mad at the man.
Not after such a long time knowing him.
"Mac..." "Aye, Sarah?" "**** work. Tell the crew they've got time to sober up until I'm awake again." "An' what about ye?"
She jumped on him to wrap her legs around his waist and throw her arms around his neck.
"Carry me to bed, my King!"
He held her tight and grinned.
"As ye wish, my Queen."
She'd fall asleep on the way back to her quarters and wouldn't wake up until much later that day.
And when she did, she wouldn't get out of bed for a long, long time.
Why?
Excessively cute and cuddly snuggling action with her Sleeping Beauty of course!
[color=#CCFFFF]About ten or so hours later, Willows was awake, no longer hungover, fully dressed, sitting in her quarters together with Mac and... working?
[color=#FFCCFF]"This sucks."
[color=#99FF99]"Aye lass." "There's so much junk we need to get fixed." "Aye. So what's it ye think?"
Oh dear, thinking meant working.
"I think we might aswell build a new ship while we're at it." "Ain't really an option, lassie."
Willows rubbed her temples and leaned back in her comfy chair.
Mac was drinking his coffee and just waiting to hear whatever she'd say, a small PDA in front of him to note whatever it was they needed.
"I know Mac, I know.
Let's just go through it one after the other." "Aye, 'ah note whatever ye say."
Now she pulled out her sidearm for some reason...
"On the other hand, to hell with it."
...raised it to her head...
"Lass, what the..." "Later, Mac."
*BANG!*
...and pulled the trigger with a grin on her face.