Shoes off.
Socks removed.
Coat pressed in.
Sweater thrown in.
Shirt ripped off.
Jeans dragged down.
Swimming Glasses - Check.
Locker Key - Check.
A mind prepared for battle - Check.
Walking down these wet, slippery floors always threatens you with that embarrassing feeling you would receive if you ever tripped. Steady your body, steel your mind, concentration at maximum. Walk it and walk it good.
"Here we are." One long, deep inhale was executed before I jumped down into the lukewarm water. A sudden change of body temperature means more than just a feeling, it changes your perspectives to adapt for a new world. The world of the water. Here your life is diminished to less than two minutes before you are required to stick your head out in order to restart the hour-glass of your existence.
I pressed my feet against the edge of the pool and flung away like a cannonball. The arms crawled through the water like I was digging dirt. My legs were kicking in a fluttering motion. For each right-arm stroke, my head turned just enough so that the nose came off the water in order to breathe. A complicated set of movements. Trial by error. Practice and Training. I was not a master but not a beginner either. A man who had embarked on a journey but had only reached half way to his goal. I was there, right there.
But I was not here to master certain techniques. I was not here to upgrade my muscles. I was here, because right here under the water, tranquility meets chaos. Hold your breath and stick your head under the water, all your problems washes away for a brief moment until you are forced to stick up your head again. Breathe in, see the reality of the world that you live in, collect your life problems and stick your head down the water again. Everything washes away. Everything disappears under the surface of the water.
"I don't care how important this class is for my grades, if I don't get out of here soon I think I will just jump out of a window. "
I turned my head to the right, spotted my friend and nudged him with my elbow but kept a sense of subtlety in my movements. You got to be real careful getting spotted talking, because this drama teacher is really passionate about his work. You can see it in his eyes but most of all, you can see it in the way he speaks. That fiery enthusiasm which is dragged with every word that comes out of his mouth. If you even think about trying to hinder him in any way from continuing his "vital lesson" properly, he will strike down upon you like a medieval priest would on a heretic.
My friend looked at me in a way like he was saying: "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? IF THE TEACHER SPOTS YOU DOING ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY BOTH OUR ASSES ARE IN TROUBLE!"
I simply sighed in response.
It's hilarious when you think of it. All teachers have their weak spots that can boost your grades dramatically if you abuse it to your own advantage. These weaknesses are always related to their childhood. Take that English teacher for example. Probably was bullied to death for being such a school-nerd. Presenting yourself as the socially "popular guy" amongst the class will get you a negative outlook before you even have the chance to open your mouth. So, to receive sympathy you simply have to act quiet all the time during English classes and do your work properly when required, without having any kinds of conversations with your friends.
Or take this extremely passionate drama teacher who acts overambitious because he failed to accomplish his true life goal, which was to become a movie-star. Now that he obviously ain't anything close to a star of any kind, he desperately tries to silence his sadness by being the best drama teacher in the whole world. If you mention anything not related to drama, even such a tiny topic as what you ate for breakfast this morning will signal him that you aren't interested in the drama subject at all. Focus your mind for that hour of fraud and pretend you give a damn. The reward will come in very high-grades.
Then there is that typical teacher who has a very bad confidence because he was teased for looking ugly when he was a young boy. Any person with a little talent in lying and has no problem swallowing some bits of pride have the ability to kiss that teacher's ass. Everything he wears, everything he does and everything he says are all in your eyes for those hours you have him as your teacher, simply the most perfect things you have ever witnessed in your whole life. Mr.Suck-up does indeed get his fair share of bonuses as well.
That is the reality of the school and sadly the reality of life. Everyone hears what they want to hear. But can you truly blame humans for that? After all aren't we just a bunch of self-interested pricks? Those who deny such a statement reveals their desire to constantly feed their self-interests even more.
Face it, generosity is the definition of a person who feeds their self-interest but where the side-effects of that individual's actions benefits others as well. The primary motivation is still self-interest though, so is that individual truly considered a generous being or simply is fortunate of the development of his/hers self-interested induced actions?
Whatever the answer is, it is the reality we have to face.
I'm walking through an isolated corridor. The path is narrow but everything seems to be abandoned. There are no sounds and there are no people. The lights are flickering frequently, flashing up the area around me for two seconds before all I see is complete darkness again.
The walls on the sides have no real colors, no defining shapes and signals no feelings when touched upon. My senses seems to be rendered useless in this world. I have even trouble to decide at which pace I should walk, it feels like my legs have a life of their own. Oh no, my whole body is being controlled by someone or something. My head is not allowed to turn, my arms are not allowed to swing, my mind is not allowed to leave this realm. I'm stuck here, I must be. There are no directions but going forward.
Deeper into the cave of horror. The corridor gradually disappears, even the lights have abandoned me now. What is left is complete darkness. A sound reaches my ear. A very faint sound, I could barely pick it up. But I'm sure it was there, I'm sure it was a real sound. Again it appears! But it's no use. I can't track it and I can't define it. "Well neverm-" The frequency of my pulse reached its peak. I had been tricked. The sound had tricked me. It had made me believe that everything was alright. And when I felt I was as secure as I possibly could be, the whole thought shattered in an instant. The monstrous roar had cut my sentence. It had penetrated my ears with such force that it had almost left me lifeless.
The next wave of negative emotions arrived seconds later. It inflicted immense physical pain against my whole body and finished off with a terrifying mental attack. The result put me in a tremendous state of affliction. I was completely paralyzed during the whole process. I was experiencing hell and I was aware of it. How could my mind be awake but my body could not? I laid there in the bed without having the ability to move, yet this persistent horror refused to let go of my mind.
A nightmare causes suffering, indeed. But in the end it is just another dream. An illusion that disappears as you open your eyes and return to the real world.
"So tell us, what is this so called, Shadow Theory?"
I observed the familiar faces sitting around me. Lunch hour. Some had abruptly ceased eating and others were still playing with their food, but I could feel it, I was the center of attention. You could call it my fifteen minutes of fame or you could call it me pretending it was my fifteen minutes of fame. Regardless, at this very moment, eyes and ears were focused towards me.
I silently took a deep breath before I began.
"The shadow theory is a psychological theory regarding the complex mechanisms of the human nature, the relationship between the inner and outer self. It is very simple, every human being carries a shadow. This 'shadow' is connected to the unconscious mind which consists of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings and instincts. We always try to hide our shadow in the sunlight, our main objective is to never reveal our shadow. Because the shadow hides our deepest secrets, secrets that we do not want to share. We want to be represented through our physical selves, the shadow is our enemy, so it must be kept away at all times."
I paused for a second and continued. "Individuality is an illusion, your past, present and future behavior is always molded by the society that you live in. Within your own lies there is a sense of truth, that truth is the image you project to other people."
My friends were astonished. I was glad that they had payed attention and maybe even understood the messages I tried to signal.
I was wrong.
"Wait, so you are saying that we always hide like the bad stuff and show only the good stuff to others?" One of my friends asked me with a slightly arrogant tone.
I only answered with a confused expression on my face.
My friend continued. "Well that is a load of BS if you ask me. Hell, I'm an honest guy, I'm 100% truthful about who I'm."
I gave off a slight smile, as to show that I semi-agreed with him in order to not cause any unnecessary heated discussion. But inside my head, inside my head I was hysterically laughing at him. No, I was hysterically laughing and pointing my finger at him. The perfect example! He was the perfect example of this theory. Right there, by stating he is one-hundred-frickin'-percent truthful, he handed me proof on a silver plate.
But that wasn't the hilarious part. I knew why my so-called friend blatantly lied in order to project a better image of himself. You see, there was this girl, another 'friend' of mine who was sitting there with the rest of the usual gang. And my dear lying friend had a little teenage-crush on this girl. That's why he lied.
"You devious son of a bitch." I thought.
Suddenly I heard that distinct sound that's only produced from a pack of gums stuck inside someone's pocket. That same lying friend picked up a gum and threw it in his mouth in a very subtle manner. I turned my head towards him and grabbed his left shoulder. "Hey can I have a gum?"
"No."
The answer was a straight no. He was my friend, why didn't he give me a gum? Friendship, a funny joke. Friendship is merely a symbiotic relationship between two different parties. Sympathy, empathy, honesty, whatever the beneficial factor is, when it is removed the symbiosis connection is lost. An interplay of self-interests that reaches a mutual agreement. Friendship is a silent contract between two businessmen seeking to reap profits from one another. The very concept is ironical at best. Friendship is the definition of the word falsehood. It was clear to me at the very instant he rejected my request that I was at this present time or perhaps indefinitely, not a benefit to him. This was the motivation behind not giving me a gum. Would he answered differently if that girl had asked him? Probably.
The green and lush forest surrounded me with its tranquil atmosphere as I bicycled through the stony and dirty path. The large oak trees with its abundance of green leafs opened a few cracks here and there that let in rays of sunlight to pass through. I felt the sun's presence on my face, nature's love warmed my soul. For a second there I had this most mysterious feeling that I would suddenly transcend up to the sky and become one with the clouds. A wandering creature drifting slowly through the territories of the earth.
"Hey hurry up you snail!"
Someone was shouting a few meters behind me. I turned my head around and saw one of my friends, trying to concentrate with my eyes I could spot two more of them at the very edge of my vision. The forest had put my mind at peace and as a result I had completely forgotten that I was bicycling with my friends.
I loved summertime. Not for the fact that the school had given us one and a half month of vacation but because it was summer. That was enough for me, that for a short period of time it was actually warm for a change. That I could just lay down on a grassy hill and look up at the clear-blue sky - preferably with something cold to drink, my best friends and some nice tunes blasting from a large stereo.
And that is exactly what we did. Three persons were lying there on that grassy hill with me. But not just any three persons, they were my most trusted friends. Childhood friends. We had all known each other for over seven years. Every secret, every problem, every success, we had all been there for each other. We knew exactly who we were and who the other three were. Sure I had brothers of my own, but honestly, I valued these three individuals more than anyone else. Biological brothers, bah! That's just a stupid term. You call someone your sibling or your brother because they share your genes, your surname and your blood. But we, we shared the same mind, the same love and carried the same bond of friendship.
We were real brothers.
"So guys..." My friend broke the silence in order to shake us out from our day-dreaming.
"...I don't know about you fellas but I'm pretty damn hungry myself." Everyone suddenly started to laugh, we had expected him to ask some kind of thought-provoking philosophical question that had perhaps spawned from those twenty minutes of laying down on a grassy hill and just watching a few clouds slowly drift by.
"Sure, I could go for one of 'em 'burgers right now." A friend replied back.
"Oh and some icy coke as well!" Another one continued.
We just sat there for a minute under the hot sun and drooled at the very thought of burgers and icy cokes. But sure enough, we hopped on our bicycles and started heading towards the closest outdoor fast-food joint we could find. Orders said and done. We sat on a long dark-green bench and started almost violently shove in those burgers up our mouths. It was pure primitive eating, that type where your senses tells your body that you are so goddamn hungry that you don't give one thought about manners. Full focus on that food and that food only. It didn't took long before we had finished eating and that's when the fun-threatening problem hit our heads. We all realized approximately at the same time, because you could see it on the expression of the others, we had nothing planned to do.
"Well, I might have a funny idea here!" One of my friends spoke out loudly as he had already guessed that we desperately were searching for something to do in the next coming hours.
"Let's hear it then." I replied back swiftly, signaling him that I was interested in what he had to say.
"I met a friend of mine two days ago and as we stood there looking for some nice summer clothes, he told me that he had gone out with some of his pals to swim. Now, not just any place, but the swimming hall, you know that place called Tropicana-land?" Everyone nodded.
He continued. "Well you see, they swam and all as you would expect in a swimming hall, duh. But in reality, they were there for another reason. They had by accident figured out on their former visit that all the locks you could buy from the store there, for the lockers you know, the keys that came with the locks fitted into every other lock you could buy."
"I don't think I follow here, do you mean that if I go and buy a lock from their swimming-store over there, the keys that come with that specific lock, will also work on other locks bought from the same place?" Another friend asked in confusion.
He who was telling us about this whole idea smirked and replied. "Exactly, pal. So what they did was, they bought one of 'em locks right? And went around opening all the other frickin' locks that were purchased from the same place, and stole all the stuff inside the lockers."
"Stealing? You want us to go and steal stuff from other people by abusing this mistake they had done?" I protested.
"Psh, yeah. So what, you afraid or something?" He snapped back in an assertive manner.
"Uh, well I guess, 'cus if we get caught do you have any idea of the consequences we will face?"
"Relax man, the chances of getting caught are so damn small if you just follow my plan."
I laughed. "So you have a plan now as well?"
"Yep." He confidently replied.
"Well, tell us, what is the plan?!" The third friend who had stayed quiet during this whole conversation suddenly jumped in.
"Alright listen up. This is the plan. I assume you all have at least once gone to Tropicana-land before. You know the locker-rooms right? There are two exits, one in to the locker-room itself and one door out to the pools." He paused and looked at us before continuing. "It's good that we are four people in total here. Two of you will watch the exits, the third one will help me open the locker. Now I chose which locker we will open and at what moment we will do this to make sure we don't mess up. Got it?"
My friends nodded in agreement. I was however still skeptical about the idea but you know, group-pressure had its toll and there I was, bicycling towards Tropicana-land to steal from some poor stranger.
The very first step we took inside that place made my heart race and I can assure you my friends were pretty nervous themselves. Of course the girl behind the counter had no idea what was about to happen in the next hour. We bought our tickets and headed towards the locker-room with a quick pace. As we opened the door my friend grabbed my right arm signaling the others to stop moving. "Listen guys, beware of the red-shirts. If one of 'em sees us playing with a locker we are screwed." Now the red-shirts were the life-guard personnel that worked inside the different pool areas. But they also had another job, which was to throw out any troublemakers. We were definitely above their definition of troublemakers.
Two of my friends positioned themselves at the exits pretending to be busy with some random things whilst me and the guy who came up with this whole idea were standing close to a row of lockers. We were waiting for the other people who were changing their clothes to leave the room so we could get to work. Of course this took longer than thirty minutes since when one left, two others came. One of us who were guarding the exit door to the pools frequently walked towards me and whispered to my ear if we could just abandon the whole thing and swim instead, since clearly it was almost impossible to be left alone in that room. But surprisingly, I who was at the beginning the only person protesting, had suddenly changed my mind and thought it was a funny idea.
Finally, the time had come, we were alone at last. It didn't take seconds before my friend reacted and swiftly took out his own key to open one of the locks. And here we were, all looking at that opened locker, expecting huge amounts of valuable treasures like we had just found a chest full of gold. Our eyes met a lonely wallet and a bag-pack tucked in. I grabbed the wallet and quickly shoved it into my right pocket and thought we were done here. But my friend had started opening the bag-pack and searched with his hands to find something inside it. A few seconds later he dragged his hand out, it was holding a cellphone. It seemed to be a very new type of cellphone, he smiled at me and put it in his pocket.
As we were about to close the locker again one of my friends coughed loudly. It was the signal! Someone was about to come. Our hands started shaking almost violently but we managed to push in the lock exactly as the incoming stranger opened the door to enter. Of course we showed no reaction, but on the inside, I could feel my heart beating like it had never beat before. I was even afraid that someone would hear my heart beating, that's how fast it was going.
As we exited Tropicana-land and bicycled a half-kilometer towards an isolated forest I could feel the adrenaline running through my whole body. That was one of the most intense, greatest moments I had ever experienced. Sure we did a bad thing, and we did take a guy's car-license, credit-card, some money and his cell-phone but I still believe to this very day that we were actually never after the reward itself. We were after the thrill. It was the thrill that made that day so memorable for us, it was the thrill that still convinces us that we left that place with no regrets at all.
Thief or no thief, criminal or no criminal, the excitement - was legal.