Bafflin' Boyz to the *WISE* Guyz

[Malaclypse 666]

...but it would only be fair to all curious persons and my sensitive followers to reveal that I, Timothy Rhyme, am the One.

...I would also like to confirm that Eris could kick my butt handily.

...static...

Dear Mr. Rhyme,

/givegiftcertificate [IND]Dusty_Lens 20 ******

Oh, and Timothy, we still have several openings for Temple Jakester if you should ever tire of being the One.

Yours in Eris,
Mal

(******good in exchange for merchandise or Pineal treatments at the Pineal Spa and resort only. May not be used for annual Temple fithing. Void where prohibited by House Law or other silly religions. Not good for admission to: "Mal's Demise" sundiving excursions, Agape Ludens {members only}, or Scrubby roundup and chuckwagon dinner during mating season. Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!)



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Dear Mr. Bard,

Welcome to the Sector!

Perhaps this is a sign! Eris has brought you to us!

I sombunallwhat apologize for belittling your Deity or Prophet or Savior. (choose ONE.)

However, i just noticed the little wordplay I made with "behoove" and "bull" without even realizing it. (Sometimes I crack myself up..)

Having read your particulars, I have the impression that this "ONE" you refer to is rather a hodgy Deity.

This compliments our little porridge of podge here at the Temple of TAZ.

In fact, you have helped us in achieving our ultimate goal of Balancing the Chao. Kallisti!

(And, as to offerring assistance to those in spiritual or material need, sir, we've been helpin' people shine their Pineals now for a decade. ..at a modest fee, of course..)

Now then, you seem literate, and a quick study, so a brief history is in order.

As the Erisian Liberation Front, flying Hacker colors, we brought Eris to the Sector with a pie in the face; we then took coats of many colors, and ministered as Epopts to every major faction in Sirius.

As the 1st Bank of Flax, we helped countless new immigrants start a life in Sirius, and then spirited our earnings away to a plantation on Canaria under cover of darkness to do Goddess' bidding.

As [~V~] the Veranda Incognita contributed several billions to the economy of Gran Canaria, financed the purchase of a system, and saved the Sector from a moonlet-sized alien ship by popping it on the noggin with another moon.

As Temporary Autonomous Zoners, we have colonized a system replete with miracles and discoveries, and have bided time, knowing full well that the cycle of History changes and repeats. You are a harbinger of that change, sir, you and the other unworthy servants of the "ONE".

Now, Eris has never seen fit in her Quirky Wisdom, to call forth the Legion of Dynamic Discord. Our Legionaire uniforms hang unused, but ready if needed. We continue to be Zoners, but can be snarky in extremis if our beliefs are questioned or our pockets picked or our legs pulled...

We are Discordians, sir. But we are much more. We are the Invisible Hand. We are the Cult of the Yellow Sign. We are the Gnomes of Zurich. We are Graduates of Timbuktu U. We serve no one.

We seek to free every primate, mehum, and cabbage o' dem chain chain chains.

Spin that MerKaBa! Raise those chakras till your Ajna glows and your crown explodes!

See that the "ONE" is every bloody cabbagey One of Us.

The Not-so-Modest Prophet Heinlein said it best: "Thou Art God!"

Non Servium,

Semper Discordium,

Malaclypse
Episkopos Prime, POEE (ParaAnametamystkhood of Eris Esoteric)
Church of Eris Esoteric,
Nasrudin Cabal of the Singing Horse,
(Moorish Orthodoxy and Incunabulism Optional),
(Weightless dervish dancing on Tuesdays. Take an entheogen to lunch.)
Pueblo Bonito, Bafflin'

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[Malaclypse 666]

To: Ambassador Bard
From: Mal

Bravo!! A heroic attempt to hoist me upon my own petard! I am still reeling from the excellent, if flawed, rhetoric. (Thank Goddess I am not a diplomat!)

I'll attempt to respond to your Epistle here, in order not to sully your Diplomatic sensibilities. It's the least I can do, Ambassador.

I believe we are referring to different Timbuktu U's here, sir. The Alumni of the Ancient Mysteree School i referred to (which includes the likes of Tom Robbins, Robert Anton Wilson and other non-prophets who the TAZ revere) would certainly have no truck with two geezers like Abraham and Isaac (..Ephraim..??), who both claimed to be worshippers of the same "One", yet whose adherents shed the blood of countless thousands in attempts to prove that their "One" had more hair on his chest than the others' "One".

That's what being an "adherent" or "servant" gets ya.

Now, you still have me at a disadvantage sir. I compliment you on your knowlege of our Book of Precepts, and other scripture; however you have cleverly managed to tell me how I as a Discordian should interpret them, without once revealing an iota of what precepts your "One" would have me believe. Or for that matter, what "One's" real identity might even be... I cry foul! How can we discuss or debate either religion or diplomacy without both knowing the ground rules? How can i in turn rag on your Deity and "hir" teachings if I don't have a blessed clue who the "ONE" is, or what she/he/it teaches?

But then, you don't claim to be a theologian, and I certainly don't claim to be a diplomat. Stalemate.

I do however appreciate your offer of assistance with my spiritual "angst"and insecurity, sir. But, to be Frank and Ernest, I question my beliefs, my motives, and even my tunnel reality every Blessed day. That's what keeps it fresh and amusing. Therefore, my particular brand of Multiperson Pantheistic Solipsism would only balk at such assistance anyway, however well-meaning it might be.

I will concede that one of your arguments held merit, and I thank you for pointing out the words of Mal II.

In that spirit, I propose that we assume the stance of "Mutual Irrelevance" towards each other until such time as the ONE decides to pop up and introduce ONEself. Fair Dinkum?

Neither the Hodge nor the Podge shall prevail,

Mal

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