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Zukeenee · 08-16-2018, 02:03 AM,

Transmitting---

Comm ID: Mark Phillips, Chief Communications Officer, Synth Foods Inc.
Transmit to: Chun-Mai Dawn, Commissioner, Liberty Police Inc.
Subject: Paste for the prisoners

Message Begin>>>

Hello hello! It's a beautiful, sunny day here at Synth headquarters on Los Angeles. The birds are singing, the RoboCultivars are cultivating, and the industrial-sized vats of Synth Paste are bubbling softly as their contents reach appropriate levels of viscosity. Yes, our technicians here at Synth Foods Inc are always working their hardest to discover new and interesting ways to bring Liberty's favorite synthetic comestibles to your dining room table. Likewise, our marketing representatives are always on the hunt to find new avenues through which we can distribute our beloved product. After all, nothing spreads better than paste!

Which is why I'm contacting you today, Commissioner Dawn. I understand that one of your subordinates, Officer Michael Lawson, recently came into contact with Synth Foods Representative Dave, one of our most esteemed customer relations experts. Dave reported to me just how intrigued Officer Lawson was by one of our newest Synth Paste varieties: Badlands Bacon Blast. It's made with locally-sourced organic minerals from New York's Badlands themselves! Upon witnessing a passerby sample and... "react" to our product, Officer Lawson had the brilliant idea of supplying your Attica Supermax prison station with this particular flavor, as a treat for the inmates. At Synth Foods, we take a special interest in providing affordable sustenance for those less fortunate individuals among us, so this was an offer we just couldn't pass up! Michael gave us your contact details so that we might find a way to provide your station with our paste.

Our distribution team was so excited by this prospect, they took it upon themselves to send an advance shipment, a "gift basket" of sorts, to your supermax facility. This shipment included not only the highly sought-after Badlands Bacon Blast, but also other popular Synth Paste flavors, such as Salty Marshmallow, Carbonated Bread, Toasted Appleseeds, Carrot Crisp, and Diet Carbonated Bread. However, our distribution team set out on this endeavor before learning the exact location of Attica Supermax. The captains of our Synth transports knew to look for a big, imposing minefield, but it seems they found the wrong one at first...

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Thankfully, several helpful Navy patrols intercepted the convoy immediately and directed our captains to local authorities, who were more than happy to guide us to your correctional facility. And so, a quick jump and a short cruise later, the Synth vessels arrived outside of Zone 84, where they were contacted by your defense platform, McNeil Island.

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Personnel aboard the dreadnought were surprised, to say the least, to see our ships in that sector. Unfortunately, our distribution team was informed that not only had they not received prior clearance to offload cargo on Attica Supermax, but that your prison facility didn't even have the necessary mooring points to receive the goods from our Bison transports.

Disappointed, but undeterred, our transports returned to Los Angeles with their delicious cargo. Don't worry, though! Synth Paste never goes bad, and your first shipment is still sitting in our distribution center, ready to nourish the poor, incarcerated souls of Attica at a moment's notice. So what do you say, Commissioner Dawn? Are you ready to team up with Synth Foods Inc to fight malnutrition in your prisons? Paste Professionals are standing by!

<<<Message End

The Sovereign · 08-16-2018, 09:33 AM,

From: Secretary Jess Valys
To: Mark Phillips
Subj: Synth Foods, Paid Parking, Attica Supermax

Good Morning.

I'm afraid that your attempt to reach Commissioner Dawn has come during her vacation, and that she will only be able to attend to your request to open business when she returns in five to seven workdays. However, I can pass on some news that it seems the commander of the McNeil forgot to mention.

The parking outside the Supermax is paid parking, and should your ships wish to remain in such an area until Miss Dawn returns from her trip, you'll be charged a total of 150 million credits for using the space outside the Supermax. Now, I'm aware that it's a seemingly exorbitant price, but this is a matter of national security after all. It's 50 million per ship, and it will cover your stay until the day she returns.

Additionally, there is the small matter of approaching the Supermax without prior clearance, and the potential breach of the zone-21 minefields. If I were to offer... professional advise, it would be to hold tight, and wait for the Commissioner, before someone with less... flexibility in how they're willing to conduct business deals decides to take note of said breaches.

Signed, J.Valys, Personal Secretary to the Commissioner.

Zukeenee · 08-17-2018, 09:21 PM,

Transmitting---

Comm ID: Mark Phillips, Chief Communications Officer, Synth Foods Inc.
Transmit to: Jess Valys, Secretary, Liberty Police Inc.
Subject: Re: Synth Foods, Paid Parking, Attica Supermax

Message Begin>>>

Synth Foods is happy to wait for the Commissioner's return. In the meantime, though, I'd just like to take an opportunity to clear up a few potentially harmful misconceptions:

First of all, our transports never actually entered the restricted minefield of Zone 21. Objects in the rear-view are farther than they appear, after all. You know, Doppler effects and quantum redshifts and all that. Legitimate science explanations. Navy personnel on the scene were very quick to intercept our vessels and turn them around before crossing the restricted perimeter. Given the urgency with which our transports were escorted back to the lanes, I can only assume that whatever's inside that sealed area reacts catastrophically toward delicious paste!

Second, as I mentioned in the previous message, our Synth Foods distribution team has already returned to Planet Los Angeles with their cargo, which is now waiting in the warehouses of our distribution facility. The transports themselves have already resumed their normal freight operations, and are not using up the valuable parking space outside of Zone 84. Furthermore, McNeil Island's commander did have plenty more to say to our transport pilots about entering the restricted space around Attica Supermax unannounced and uninvited. Our pilots received several citations for their accidental misdemeanor, which were all paid for and apologized for immediately afterward. In the interest of brevity, I chose not to include those details. Water under the bridge, right?

All that aside, we at Synth Foods Inc are eagerly awaiting your commissioner's return. I can only hope you're as excited as we are to bring delectable, nutritious, and cost-effective synthesized food substitutes to your facilities!

<<<Message End

Seraph · 08-20-2018, 09:01 PM,

From: Commissioner Chun-Mai Dawn
To: Mark Phillips,, Synth Foods
Subj: Re: Re: Synth Foods, Paid Parking, Attica Supermax

Mr Phillips,

You will find your parking ticket attached. Failure to comply within two weeks will result in your ships being flagged hostile to all Liberty Police installations.

Also, as a personal note, I don't find clowns funny.

Yours sincerely,
Commissioner Dawn
Liberty Police, Inc.

Attachments:

Spoiler

"When one is made of glass, everything looks like a stone."

Zukeenee · 08-21-2018, 08:51 PM,

Transmitting---

Comm ID: Mark Phillips, Chief Communications Officer, Synth Foods Inc.
Transmit to: Chun-Mai Dawn, Commissioner, Liberty Police Inc.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Synth Foods, Paid Parking, Attica Supermax

Message Begin>>>

Ah, you must be that individual with less "flexibility" that Secretary Valys was referring to! You know, Synth Foods sells a fantastic line of gel-based food products that really loosen you up and get things moving again. If you happen to feel like someone's shoved a stick up your backside, consider trying SynthLax™ brand Softening Gels!

Personal dietary recommendations aside, it sounds to me like you've chosen to decline Synth Food's offer of supplying an economical alternative food source for the incarcerated men and women aboard your prison facility. Although my colleagues and I are saddened to hear this, we just can't pass up the opportunity to supply our splendid cuisine to the tragically pasteless. Therefore, I've arranged to have our distribution team deliver the previously-mentioned "gift basket" shipment to One Police Plaza instead of your Attica prison. We've also added a larger assortment of luxury Synth Gel flavors that the boys and girls in blue might find more palatable, including (but not limited to): Cryo-Organism Coffee Blend, Mystery Cheese Donut, and Vehicular Flanslaughter. I'm sure your employees will enjoy our mouthwatering paste and gel varieties!

Now, as for the attached parking ticket, I'll direct you to both of my previous messages, in which I clearly explain that our transports were never parked in the vicinity of either the Zone 21 or Zone 84 minefields. Synth Foods vessels were redirected and escorted away from the Zone 21 field long before reaching the outer perimeter, and were similarly turned away by the McNeil Island just outside of Zone 84. Our company's ships were not "parked" in these areas for more than the few minutes it took for our captains to converse with the police and navy personnel on the scene. To think that three of our Bison-class transports have been sitting next to McNeil Island for a full week, disrupting Sirius-wide paste-trade with their stagnation, is simply preposterous.

So, given that Synth Foods Inc does not recognize the legitimacy of the claims presented on the attached citation, I'm afraid our company is unable to pay Liberty Police Inc the requested 150 million Sirius credits. However, I would be happy to offer you and each of your staff one Synth Foods coupon for 15% off of most* varieties of Synth Foods products, redeemable at your local paste and gel vendors, all over Sirius!

*Limit one item per customer, some restrictions apply, contact your local paste professional for full details

<<<Message End

Seraph · 09-13-2018, 08:16 PM,

From: Commissioner Chun-Mai Dawn
To: Mark Phillips,, Synth Foods
Subj: Re: Re: Synth Foods, Paid Parking, Attica Supermax

Good day,

Your loyal employees reminded me about this transmission.

Failure to pay your parking ticket has resulted in your access to LPI bases being limited.

Yours sincerely,
Commissioner Dawn
Liberty Police, Inc.

"When one is made of glass, everything looks like a stone."

Zukeenee · 09-24-2018, 04:50 PM,

Transmitting---

Comm ID: Dhanisha Patel, Chief Legal Officer, Synth Foods Inc.
Transmit to: Chun-Mai Dawn, Commissioner, Liberty Police Inc.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Synth Foods, Paid Parking, Attica Supermax

Message Begin>>>

Holy smokes, you actually went through with it.

Commissioner, this kind of "police work by proxy" isn't going to stand in a court of law. You administered your exorbitant fines based only on second-hand evidence. No members of Liberty Police Incorporated ever came in contact with any of the Synth Foods vessels seen in the preceding messages. CCO Phillips has already stated, numerous times, that our transports did not engage in any unlawful actions. Allow me to elucidate the matter, though: Our transports were never anywhere near the locations pictured above. Although I advised against it, our marketing team and our communications team sought to improve relations by providing a humorous story. The images seen in the original message are stock images taken from the neuralnet, and doctored by members of our communications team. Look closely at the space around the names in the visible IFFs, and the mines in the background that come in contact with the edges of the Bisons. The original photographs can be seen here and here. You can also easily check the logs of your dreadnought, the McNeil Island, and see that no Synth Foods vessels ever approached the security platform, much less parked in front of it.

Your ham-fisted approach toward collecting on a bogus parking ticket has marked Synth Foods Inc as enemies of the Republic of Liberty. Synth vessels are being shot on sight by LPI patrols and all other lawfully aligned ships and stations within Liberty, including the docking authority of Planet Los Angeles, where Synth Foods Inc is headquartered. This is a clear violation of our rights as a Libertonian corporation. The majority of our shipping fleet has been grounded, and given that our company is Liberty's primary transporter of food and drink, you'll be seeing major food shortages inside of a week. Not only in Liberty, but throughout most of Sirius.

I urge you to lift these charges and reverse your declaration of open hostility, Commissioner, before Synth Foods is forced to take the matter up with a higher power.

<<<Message End

Seraph · (This post was last modified: 09-24-2018, 05:40 PM by Seraph.)

From: Commissioner Chun-Mai Dawn
To: Dhanisha Patel, Synth Foods
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Synth Foods, Paid Parking, Attica Supermax

It's unfortunate, but you have sown the wind and now you will reap the whirlwind.

I wish you best of luck with your business outside Liberty, I'm sure other Houses will be absolutely thrilled with your "sales pitch". I would suggest trying a Rheinland Military black site of your choice next.

Yours,
Commissioner Dawn
Liberty Police, Inc.

[ Channel terminated. ]

"When one is made of glass, everything looks like a stone."

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