"The Triumphant RM managed to thwart a terrorist attack on the Kanzler's Mansion, after a group claiming to be the resurgent Coalition hijacked an unmanned automatic ALG transport today with the intent on crashing it into our beloved Gott-Kanzler's home"
"The RM managed to force the ship to surrender, but not before it dumped the entire content of its cargo bay all over the house and grounds."
"Biological inspectors have determined that the contents of the cargo was not hazardous, but rather 4000 tonnes of human waste being shipped to Stuttgart for fertilizer"
We would like to extend our thanks to the RM for bravely averting any loss of Rhienlander life in the incident, and for the fact that the ship in question was undamaged, save for a few bullet holes in the cockpit.
The fate of the Coalitioner pilot is not know, but sources close to the Kanzler heard him screaming something about his mansion, a toothbrush, and a whole lot of forced manual labour.
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