*An advertisement starts to play on your neural net screen. A man is getting into a Starflier as a crying child tries to hold him back. He brushes the child away as if he doesn't exist and takes off into space and without reason kills a random miner. He laughs over emergency distress signals and flies into a sun yelling I will respawn. The image fades away to the small child as he looks up at the sun crying. A piece of paper falls from his hands it reads 'I love you Dad <3' the screen fades and is replaced by a man in a brown tuxedo standing in a white room.*
'What you have just seen is the true story of Brian Mac a long time sufferer of Lawl's Syndrome. While it is sometimes funny when people spout gibberish across the entire system the ramifications of this is not.
Lawl's Syndrome is a communicable mental disorder that is prevalent in the space faring communities but can strike anyone at any time and has symptoms such as, belief that the sufferer and other people are immortal and/or nonexistent entities controlled by ancient human, Random and sporadic acts of aggression, belief in certain god figures that have ruined the universe, obsessing with large ships, Belief that they can crack any encryption key and most harrowing at all that people on planets don't actually exist at all and that flying into a sun is the fastest way to make planet fall.
The tireless workers of the Society for Treatment Of Lawl's Syndrome (STOLS) pull thousands of sufferers out of sun dive ever year and provide support for the families of millions. However increasing numbers of sufferers are obtaining starfliers and managing to fly out of the Pennsylvania system where the infection has spread uncontrollably and attempt to infect the average space farer. It has now become unfeasible for our rescue ships to operate in Sirius and we are now looking for funds or volunteers to help enforce quarantine in Pennsylvania for all those who are unable to prove that they don't have a level of infection that is able act as a catalyst for other cases or that they don't display any of the dangerous symptoms.
Please give generously to Rob Ply or contact me via the neural net please give generously so that the sufferers of Lawl's can get the treatment they need and rejoin society.
<voice-only transmission> *sound of gunshots*
*merrily:*
One infected cured, three hundred to go. Expenses: twenty credits. *short pause* Cleaning that mess costs.
<end of transmission
Feel free to PM me regarding any grammar/spelling/other language mistakes I have made in my posts.
