Attention all Ageira Technologies Dosmetics customers owning a model J-4000 InfiniBlend™ multi-function Portable Blending Unit;
"Sure that looks totally inedible, honey, but just wait 'til I use our new InfiniBlend!"
Due to a series of incidents* which have incited a number of customer complaints, a Product Recall Notice has been issued for the J-4000 PBU.
All units should be returned to your nearest Ageira Domestics retailer for a refund as offered under the Ageira Domestics End User License Agreement.
Customers involved in this product recall are being offered trial units of the Ageira Personal Defense X-201 SwordMax™ Bladed Combat Unit as alternative compensation.
"This thing has so many sharp edges, it can't be legal in any of the Houses! Ahahaha! AhahahAAAAAAAA-"
Thank you for choosing Ageira! Have a nice day!
***TRANSMISSION ENDS***
*searching for relevant articles in the Liberty Times:
- Woman murders husband, blaims possessed household appliance
- Dozens horrifically scarred in gory restaurant incident
- Unsurpurvised children in kitchen lose fingers, toes, spleen
- Mob boss boasts that murder victim's body "... will never be found. Like, seriously. I don't have a clue where all the little bits went."
