To: Outcasts of Malta

[Arioch]

*Cough* Is this on? Oh the red light is blinking.

Hey there!!!

How ya'll doin? Just thought I'd drop a line from... wait, what station am I on again? It has a bunch of tables, umm. There is some guy looking at me. *Whispers* He's got a lazy eye. It's weird man.

Oh wait, yeah sorry. So hey guys! I've met a couple of the 101st and Centari Lance, I mean Contari? I'm saying it right, right? Anyway, you guys are pretty chill man. Some of you Maltese have issues, but hey man. Thats cool. I mean who doesn't? Especially with that Cardamine! *Whistles* Some good stuff right there. I mean, I've never tried it, but it looks like a crazy ride! A lot of the people I deliver it to love it! Can't get enough. Keeps me in business! Oh, and *whisper* some fellas on Manhattan can't get enough.

Anyway, where was I. -Long pause- Oh thats right. So, I figure if you guys export the cardi, you guys must like the good stuff! Well, I've been dabbling for a couple years now... And I got something you might want to try! I was able to get some synthetic marijuana and infuse it with that stuff from California. What's the name... Ah! FloraGro! Now, before you think thats crazy, here me out! I was able to look at what FloraGro does. It, crap where is it... *Fumbles around* Here we are. It *Reads label* stimulates the energy production cell structures called mitochondria within plant cells, leading to faster and healthier plant tissue growth.

Now, I realize we aren't plants. But, we have that mitrocondra or whatever in us, so I was able to actually make it work for people! Essentially, what I do is combine Synthetic Marijuana and my special recipe of FloraGro, or as I like to call it now, HomosapiaGro, and BAM! You now have the effects from the syn stuff, but the added benefit of faster thought process and faster healing! Say you get a scratch from someone or something. You put a bandage on it and wait a couple days. With this, you wait a couple hours! It's intense man. I mean, doesn't really help against major cuts or... Death. But, does the job for the small stuff! I've tested it on a few of my friends, and haven't had any complaints!

So, my proposal is that I ship some of my HomosapiaGro and Synthetic Marijuana up to you all in Alpha, and have ya'll try some! Now, I won't charge ya for this initial run. Just want to drop of some samples and let you try it out! Oh, and directions. So, what you do once I deliver the goods is take some of the Synth stuff and mix a small amount of the Gro, and then smoke or Toke or inhale after lighting like you would normally! Easy as that! And you bet your thruster power that it'll do the job!

Anyway, hit me up on this channel and let me know when I can bring it up and where! For added measure, I'll even join ya in trying some, that way you know i'm not bull-IMG'ing ya. *Chuckles* Like that? IMG'ing ya? Get it?? You know, cause you guys don't like the IMG?

Chat with ya'll soon!

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[Warriors of Light]

***Incoming transmission***
To: Captain Jake Vollen
From: Don Teodoro Alonso
Location: Albion Light, Omicron Alpha

Hola senor Vollen, I see you have minor spelling issues considering our people, but no worries, it's expected given your line of work, si?. Judging us by yourself, aren't you? But I am intrigued. Especially as you don't mind trying your stuff yourself. Hell, why not! We will stuff you high with cardi, then synth weed you are offering us so eagerly, and finally add some special FloraGro formula of yours. Ah, almost forgot, you will not even feel all these small cuts on your body in your condition. How long are you saying it will take? 2 minutes? That will better work, si? Then there will be something to talk about. I am sure you are interested, right?

***Transmission terminated***

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[Arioch]

Why hello there Don Alonso!

*Laughs* Yeah, not the greatest with figuring out the spelling of some on my own. I had the names all stored on my data slate, but *Whispers* I may have spilt my beer on it when I hit an asteroid in the Tau 37 system. Stupid rocks man...

Anyway, glad you guys are up to the challenge! Not sure if i'll try my hands in some of that Cardi. From what I hear it's pretty rough! But you never know. I am adventurous! Well, sometimes I am. All depends. *Looks away for a bit* Oh, yeah, right. Huh?

Now, if I understand you correctly, which is rare, you... I mean, I understand people fine, but sometimes people go off and I get confused. Like this one time man, I was visiting some friends on the Freeport in Omega 3. Oh man, let me tell you. It was a...

-Silence for a bit-

Where was I? Oh yeah! So when you say 2 minutes, you mean how long HomosapiaGro takes? To feel the effects, yeah, couple minutes man. It's great. To heal minor wounds and grant faster brain power stuff, that takes about an hour. Not instant man, but worth it in my head!

So, what do you mean am I interested? I mean, I'm interested in all sorts of things! If you mean interested in joining you Maltese fellas and gals for a romp around Alpha tryin my stuff, hell yeah man! Sounds like a blast! Plus, afterward, if i'm not too far gone, I'll take some of your Cardi and ship and haul it back to my customers. *Laughs* Win win wouldn't ya say?

Anyway, when would you like to meet up? Would be great to get some of the Contari Lance and 101st around to enjoy it too with us, if they are open for it. Unless they are too *Chuckles* chicken for it! *Laughs* I mean no disrespect, just jabbin' man. All in good fun.

So let me know when to head there! From this comm, I'll be around for the next 9 hours. After that, got some places to be for the next 3 three days, but will be back afterward man! You know, commitments and such. Can't leave customers unhappy! *Chuckles*

So, lets see. Where is that lighter... AH CRAP *Loud bang of something dropped and transmission cut*

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[Beauenheim]

Signore Vallon,

Will this save me some trips to Savona's infirmary? Being a Lanciere for the Contari Familiare is a difficult job. The way you advertise this new formula of FloraGrow, or HomosapiaGro makes it sound like it is a rather useful tool for recovery from minor injuries. Anything for quicker and more enjoyable recovery, Signore.

Let's see how this plays out. You can make some serious credits if this infact works. So, count me in, tell me when you're in the area and I'll be there.

Addio, Signore Vallon

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[Arioch]

*Cough* Hello Signore Visconti!

Sorry, was umm... Enjoying some of my hybrids. *Chuckles* I love it so far, though still perfecting it man. It's a process, but so far I've gotten it to the point where I can send it out to customers! Consider it in "Beta" stage. Close to final form man!

Anyway, I unfortunately have some prior commitments with some other folks for the next couple days. But I will be available to head up and meet ya afterwards! Gotta keep my customers happy and well stocked! Cardi included man, so it helps us all! *Laughs*

I'll comm ya when I am free to make a run up there! Now, don't let some minor cuts take too much of a toll. I'd hate to have to meet you in Savona's infirmary. Then I'd have to run past doctors and guards, and all the staff to bring my stuff in. Then probably get thrown out, then not invited bac... *Trails off for another 5 minutes*

Huh? Oh sorry. But yes, I'll comm you when I'm ready and we shall pick a time and place! Tell your friends/family too! As I said, be more than happy to enjoy it with ya all as proof it won't make things worse or kill ya. *Laughs*

Umm, Adia? No, that's not it. Adidas? No. Crap. Umm. -Long pause- Oh!

Addio Signore Visconti!

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[Arioch]

Greeting... I mean Signore Visconti!

I have finished my business, so am free to come up and party!!! *Clears throat* I mean, deliver the goods. You'll love it man!

Now, for details! Lemme know how much to bring and when. If you would prefer, drop me a line man on private comms or on by way of... Oh, whats it called *Fumbles around and reads aloud* Ah! "S.K.Y.P.E. protocol" is it? Meh, technology man. It's scary how advanced we've gotten. Me? I like working with things that grow and won't grow smart and hurt me! *Laughs* Well, I mean there are dangerous plants in Sirius man. This one time, was walking around in the fields of New Babylon. You hear of it? It's on planet... Crap, what was the name again? It's on my star charts. But they made these garden to make tribute to the ancient hanging gardens of babylon. Gorgeous views, but damn... Ya know how many gardeners they lost man? *Whistles* One too many. So the solution? Cut 'em up, bag 'em, and then smoke 'em! *Laughs* Well, the plants I mean, not the gardeners...

Anyway, where were we? *Looks around for a minute then promptly falls asleep*

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[Beauenheim]

Signore Vallon,

Your transmission's recording was 6 Hours and 30 Minutes long. Falling asleep like that makes me wonder if you're really all there. Visit a physician soon, it'll be good for both of us.

Back on subject. You can reach me... here, I'm uploading the attachment now. the password is xxX420LegitSwagXxx

Code:

beauregard.stauffer

Addio, Signore Vallon

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