Leon Base, Omega 41. One of those places you don't want to lurk around unless you are a corsair or one of their suppliers. A base among the asteroids where many Corsairs come to rest, unload their loot or tell the tales of their battlefield victories. Once you enter the base there aren't many non corsair people around, you can notice occasional zoner keeping his head down and avoiding eye contact with any domestic savage. The look on the walls brings pain to every sane person, as they are painted with blood and full of spikes where corsair put enemies head. The atmosphere is very strange, but still loud. You can see corsairs dueling each other to death on some floors over silliest things. You can see black market and smugglers selling stolen goods, weapons, armors and robes. Once you pass the main hall there is a small corridor with light blinking and door ahead. The sign on the door says : Easy women & strong booze, your life is in your hands.
......
Once you enter you can see bunch of drunken corsairs spitting, throwing knives, screaming at each other, gambling and telling their own tales. The bravest ones are sitting right infront of the bar, with their eyes closed from alcohol dose sleeping on the counter. Occasional bartender slap wakes them up just so they could drink another mug and black out again. Bandito opened this bar right after he got his hands on management from Black Sails Leader, Espingarda. The best drinks were kept in a special room, and there was only one way to pay for it. In dead bodies of corsair enemies.
You enter as a little boy in this bar and you will walk out as a man, the rumor goes around other bases. It was regular Saturday in the Empire, nothing special, nothing new...same all wars, same all tales. Bandito opened the door and barged into the bar.
He slowly walked towards the bar while couple of corsair who could still stand on their feet watched him move. He sat down and turned to bartender " What ye looking at ye bloody skirt sniffer, give me my bloody poison already" !
- Diego had just returned from some hunting and had just paid the little boy that was looking over the hangar bay while the real mechanic was somewhere else, probably either drinking or having sex in some dark corner of the station. He walked directly towards the bar, it had only opened a few minutes ago but it was quickly getting filled up. He saw Bandito sitting at a table and drinking something as always, he faced towards him while continuing to walk.
Just as Diego was about to sit down, he saw some random dead corsair knifed to a nearby table by his neck, but what really caught his interest was the knife, he went towards the dead man and picked it up, wiping it on the victim's dirty shirt, and then walked over to Bandito's table.
Diego suddenly lunged the knife into the small space between two of Bandito's fingers before sitting down next to him.
Amigo, isn't this the knife I gave you in exchange for that Zoner babe? WHY IS IT STICKING IN SOME BASTARDO'S NECK !?
A seemingly <strike>molly</strike> <strike>bretonian</strike> corsair looking fella walks into Bandito's Den..
Top o' the mornin' t' ya! Oi heard ye 'ave some o' dem molly spies 'ere. Hopefully oi'll run into one o' dem, so oi can tear'em apart with mi Werewo- Oi mean Titan! Aye, aye!
He walks up to the bar with that typical "no u" look on his face, ready to order a drink..
Bandito grabs a knife from a table, gets up from the chair and goes back to table where corsair body is and sticks the knife again the returns. "He said I owe him a knife....si si I repayed my dues" He laughs for a minute just to notice an seemingly looking corsair fella walking into the Den and starting to talk about Molly spies.
Bandito starts beating him with a dancer's corpse till his last breaths are heard, then suddenly screams : JULIO ! GOT YOU FRESH MEAT FOR BAR SPECIAL MENU !
He returns back to Diego "So...what were you saying ?"
Espi walked into the bar after delivering a shipment of looted anti-radiation pills. He looked around, and proceeded to take a stool. After using his hard words and harder fists to dispose of some drunk nimmwit sitting on 'his' stool, he looked left and right. After he saw Mateo and Diego, he stood up, went away for a short while and returned with something that could have been a suitcase back in it's times of glory. He sat on 'his' stool again and looked at his compadres...
Mateo - I like what you have done to this place. I remember it used to be our torture chamber when the crew of Empress were all locked in here. He then stood up, took something out of his left pocket and threw it into the air - RAD-PILLS FOR EVEROYNE!
While the rest of the bar was trying to preserve its uninterested face and pick up as many tic-tacs as they could, Espi came to the two wingmen, threw the suitcase on the table, and opened it. While Diego seemed to be in awe by that suggestion - looking at Mateo with widened eyes and wondering what is going to happen next. Mateo only looked at his Sovereign with his 'I-think-I'm-going-to-hit-you-in-the-face' look.
When you do it, you get to be the Shaman or Witchdoctor or whatever title you wanted to get.
Espi reached into the parody of a suitcase lying on the table, turned something on and it started emit a distinctive vibrating sound.
Fine. - said Mateo. He grabbed the object in the suitcase, and his hand started shaking, as he was lifting it into the air, he grabbed his EPIC beard and moved it to the side to make some space. Both Diego and Espi looked at Mateo with expectations of what will follow.
And then it happend.
Mateo used the electric razor to shave the red hair off the guy with a Bretonian accent.
He held dead bretonian's red hair in one hand and razor in another, "IT IS TIME PATRON ! I shall build a temple to our gods in warehouse, we shall be guided by evil spirits of Crete's past once more."
EL CHUPACABRA WILL LIVE AGAIN !
He looked around seeing all people stare at him, quietly sat down and whispered to Espi, "Shame half of these bastards don't know what they eat in their soup."
Espi looked at Mateo, then looked around the room slowly.
If anyone asks, just tell them the last supply ship brought Captain Igloo's Fingers. Which is not far from the truth, since his surname was... Erm. Iglean?
He looked at his glass again and downed it a few seconds later.
Back to work, amigo. Cadiz awaits. See you in a few days.
Espi rallied the convoy pilots in the room and went to the docking bay to get ready for plundering.
"That is not important amigo, but if you're hungry just ask! " He turned to bartender "Bastardo, I have an offer for you, you will tell us good joke or you will get shot right now! " The bartender kind of froze and was starting to sweat while trying to think of something to preserve his life. Then he starts : "Corsair walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ships wheel for?" The corsair says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
Bandito laughs for couple of seconds, "All right amigo, you can live....at least today. Where were we now ? Ah we're waiting for new slave dancers, should be here in next hour or so". Diego who knows maybe we find you something to rape today."
Huan get in a pub all in a rage." -bartender!!! give me something to drink!! poison or whatever to sell here!!!"
Veron find some chair on a back, sit and mumbling something... "here is drink senor!" bartender serve his drink.. " what is this??? what is this s...t???" Huan yell on bartender.." This sh..t sell to some brets and hessian fart, not me boy give me nice blood wine from Crete!!"
Bar was stunt on moment (0,000001 m/sec) and care on they usual stuff... drinking, women ...usual..
![[Image: denpngcopy.png]](http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/1250/denpngcopy.png)
![[Image: booze.png]](http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/8595/booze.png)
![[Image: sairs.png]](http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/1756/sairs.png)
![[Image: irishman.jpg]](http://thisbarsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/irishman.jpg)
![[Image: sale.gif]](http://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/sale.gif)