Make it Tiahuanaco, Mal. I dont care about sunken icebergs, its the ones you are able to see that count, even if only the tip.
The Doctor breath deeply as he sat.
Hell of a Festival we had ha!? I am so exhausted. By the way Mal, did I leave my bagpipe here? I can't find it... Well, does not matter. We have something that needs our attention here, don't we? You say you want 'proofs', so I shall provide some...
First of all, I must tell you it is most important that you try to remember what you know about me. I myself remember that you were the first person I met when I returned from my voyage to Sol. You disappeared somewhere in the near future of those days, and I did too, again, chased by loan sharks. Well, even if this cabbage, Patamunzo, got everybody to think he was me, I know there are people who can still tell the diference between the two apostles. One is you Mal.
The other one is Alice, a sentient known to you, who inhabits in the core of the zoner vessel named 'Slowcat'. She and I used to have ingenuous phillosophical talks back in the days you were still around. She remembers me, as Gypsie Skripto found not so long ago. We went on board the 'Slowcat' to have a little chat with Alice. She can recall memories of me. She can Tell the difference. If it is necessary, we can all go pay her a visit so she can 'pick' the real Mojo.
There is also this. I had it done on my chest right before I had to flee from loan sharks. I am sure you all remember this.
"Very well, 'Van/Van', I've reviewed your testimony..
...but it intrigues me that you seem to think the question I presented you both is either irrelevant, or meaningless."
He sensed a tinge of disappointment emanating from the old silver-haired gent, (even though his response was valid on several levels. The ancient Meso-American tribes seemed to include beliefs and practices from both "lineages"..)
He addressed him one more time to ease his consternation.
"As to your bagpipes, Doctor, yes you did leave them here. However, I sat on them one day by accident, and folks above ran screaming from the biodome in panic. I had them removed to my Suite in the Temple tower."
Mal then pointed to the other Doctor, back in "serious" mode again.
"Now then, Van/Patamunzo, do you also consider my question of no importance? Are you a descendant of the Pacific Lemurians, or of the land of GreyFace?
"You may also present further 'evidence' as you wish."
Van Mojo was shaking his head, as if it could make his headache go away.
He listened absently to Mal when he asked him something...
Yes... An alternative of some sort...
Then he listened painfully to the digression made by his alter ego.
Full of 'facts' and 'evidences'. Ah! He allowed himself to grin softly.
He was wondering what Mal had in mind.
Shaking his head once again, he made a grimace.
"That's interesting E-Prime... I vaguely remember some crazy tales about some place called mu - or was it a panet? - and another one called Alalis... No... Atranckis... Something like that."
The fine doctor Van Mojo shook his head.
"Ah well... Am i Lemurian? Or Atlantean? How would i know? Is the absence of certitude a good start?"
He cleared his throat, trying to gather his thoughts. "That said, if we could just analyze the little speech of my friend right here.... What could we see..."
Van Mojo smirked.
"He is the one taking all this very seriously.
My friend here is relying on proofs to negate my identity.
He uses aneristic vibrations to disrupt the sacred chao; To destroy the inherent duality of the concept of the Head Doctor.
How to interpret this?"
Van Mojo stood up uneasily and, taking a foot stance as if he was John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs, he faced Van Mojo.
The man then began waving his arms in various elaborated manners while making motions with his hands as though he was Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess.
A chant could be heard for a while in the Kiva : "GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!"
The Doctor stood up with an unexpected agility and shouted How dare you!? That's MY line!
And as he finished saying that, he also took a foot stance as if he were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs too, facing Patamunzo, and began waving his arms in the same manner, motions with hands included, chanting loudly and clearly:
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!
The both doctors kept on with the ritual for some seconds which seemed ages to Malaclypse, who was staring at them both with that 'are you kidding me for Eris sake' face.
Tears streamed down Mal's face. Not from sadness at the prospect of ejecting one of the "imposters"; but from mirth at their antics. His path was clear. Like Solomon of old, he was now prepared to "cut the baby in halves".. He wiped the tears from his eyes and rose.
"Hold! Desist! Cease with the Turkey Curses! Eris has shown me the way. I have made my decision."
The two VanMojos ceased gobbling and sat, still casting imperious glares at each other.
"Firstly, as penance for your silliness, and wasting my time, you will each donate 10 Megatonnes of Flax to the Temple Fund."
The two nodded.
"Secondly, the vessel "Turkey Curse" will remain the property of 'Patamunzo' in perpetuity."
The silver-haired returnee from Gallia frowned at this, but reluctantly nodded in acceptance...
Mal paused, as if an inner debate still consumed his thoughts. He was actually prolonging this bit to watch them squirm in anticipation..
"And thirdly, It is the Will of Eris.. and my Official Decree as her Episkopos Prime...
...that you are BOTH Dr. VanMojo!"
The two men appeared to be in shock, and ready to spring up and begin the "Curse" again. Mal continued before they came to "gobbles".
"Further, from this day forth, you, Patamunzo, will be known as Doctor Podge VanMojo. And you of the silver hair and logical bent, will be known as Doctor Hodge VanMojo. Are we Shiney?"
Silence ensued as the two men's faces reflected both consternation at his Decree, and relief that each had not been ejected from the Church as an imposter. Finally, they both nodded in acceptance...
"There is more. I have prepared two vessels for you. They await you at Shasta. For a period of two weeks, you will fly no other vessel.
"Each day, you will fly to the Region of Thud, also known as 'New York', and distribute free Amulets to the cabbages there.
"You are both still Popes, Beloved of Eris, the two faces of 'Janus', and a shining example of the Sacred Chao in action!
"Now.. hug each other, cease this silliness, and let's have a beer!"
It just looked like the fine Doctor Van Mojo was about to make again a bit of turkey, despite the Episkopos judgment.
But he finally grinned and offered his hand to his alter ago for a good cordial shake. "That was a pleasure to joust with you, friend. And if you are unhappy about the judgement, we can play Sink! or make an operation mindfruit to officially find out who is Van Mojo."
He chuckled and finally sighed. "As per your ship, if you want i will refund it to you. That is up to you, my friend."
That said, the old man nodded at Mal and undertook the grave and difficult mission to climb the ladder...
The now named Dr. Hodge Van Mojo shook the hand of his 'bizarro' with determination, and analising how things where now very quickly, he said:
There is no need for further judgements, my friend. The word of The E-Prime is fair to me. Also, there is no need for you to refund the cost of the Confie, brother. At least you kept it shining all this time...
He then paused, took a deep breath, and said:
Nevertheless, I will still call you Patamunzo, because I know of no reality other than you being him, and I being Dr. Mojo. I do not know when did we 'split', but parts need to be named. And I do feel I was the original unity and you came to existance when separated from me, thus the comparison with the Sacred Chao that our dear Polyfather just pointed out.
That said, I have no complaints to the existance of two Mojos spinning around for the sake of the bigger, One Mojo.
Dr. Hodge VanMojo walked slowly through the corridor that led to the ladder of the Kiva. When he reached it, he grabbed it with almost no strenght, and barely managed to use it to access the sacred room.
As soon as he came inside, he burst into tears. To think he had had so many good times with the old 'Mal' in this place, moved him tremendously. He had set course from Omega 49 as soon as he heard the news, yet there was no one in the Kiva.
There was actually someone in the circular chamber.
VanMojo was too much lost in his sorrow to notice the woman who was assuming zazen, her back facing the wall.
She let him express his pain during a short while. What she could see was an instable aura, filled with doubt.
The woman finally coughed and said softly : "Do not let your heart become as cold as mine, Pope. Come sit with me and medidate."
She then made a vague sign with her hand and looked around quietly. "I can still feel his presence."
If VanMojo wasn't so sad, he would have maybe noticed the pentagram on the ground, made with what could be some kind of gray sand.
She was sitting in one corner of the star.
A Pope versed in the difficult art known as magick would have understood what was going on here.