Priority: VERY HIGH
To: Liberty Police Inc.
From: Eamonn O'Doherty
Location: Omega... Error... Loading Data... Bering System
Date: 1st April 819AS
Subject: Donut Party
Ahoy there, pi... laddies! Oi've heard the Zoners are makin' a donut party in the Bering system! Don't trust me, though, me ears are qoite full of that yellow thing. Actually, it's also orange on some spots, but... Lots of donuts, enough f'r a herd of elephants! All tastes, including the foinest Gallic chocolate cover! Those fat Rhoinlanders have also heard of this.... Just hurry, before they eat 'em!
Priority: VERY HIGH
To: Liberty Police Inc.
From: Eamonn O'Doherty
Location: Dresden System
Date: 2nd April 819AS
Subject: Reonut Party
Alroight. It was the 1st of April joke. *his smile disappears* And you ignored it totally, despoite all those donut stories and me convincing. Ye've hurt me feelings, ye pigs! Even oi got laughed out today! They put me pickles in me sandwich. Loike they don't know how intolerant ta pickles oi am. Oi'll now fart the whole day, but ye can't open a window in spoice. *drops a tear*
Boi the way, ye wanted ta know who the hell oi am? A poirate, a mean, dangerous, evil poirate who's goin' ta destroy all yer pickle transports from today! *farts* Oh, bloody hell! *waves around with his hand and closes the transmission*