Message to: marauder
Comm ID: Waverly
CC: Council of Zoner Secure Frequency
Unconscioncionable, Good sir!
I feel one fat Class Action suit brewing for these persecutors of the Faithful.
They have the unmitigated gall to continue this harrassment, even after I made an extremely generous donation of 4.5 Million Credits to the SA's Widows and Orphans Fund, along with my own fine?
If Liberty continues to show their ignorance and religious intolerance, then perhaps none of the TAZ should go back there, ever. Their reactors can sputter, their lights can go dim, and they can burn oil lamps in Thud before they see another load of Deuterium from Canaria.
I will be enlisting the services of Attorney Carmen Naso immediately. This is a specious witch hunt! No other religion in Sirius is subjected to these indignities.
This will also be brought to the attention of the Council of Zoners, and I will recommend that Malaclypse seek a motion for a total and complete boycott of Liberty by all Registered Zoners until apologies and reparations are made.
Message to: Mal
Comm ID: [TAZ]Zen_Clipper
CC: Conrad _Black
Mal,
I just had a bit of a swift exchange with Conrad_Black. The lad bunged a large brown envelope out towards me as we passed just a few minutes ago....
I tractored it in... and checked it with the old "Stamp on it, and if it don't blow up, it ain't a bomb" test. Well it didn't explode and after opening the package I found 20 mill in used credits, with a note saying "deliver to Mal..."
Want me to invest it for yez? (Ican easily do that!) Or d'ya want it in yer pocket?
I could always bung it into a High Interest Long Term Fnord A/C if yer thinking about TAZ Tiddlers.
Your call, lemme know what you want to do..
Conrad.. Please take this Post as a reciept of monies paid.
Message to: TAZ Maniacs
Comm ID: Episkopos Central
Subject: Holy Tomes
Mea Maxima Culpa, folk.
It occurs to me that those copies of the Principia I directed you to carry around are all printed in Liberty, the black heart of the very intolerance which prohibits them!
Cheeky monkeys, anyway! They control the distribution of a very lucrative black market, and then they commit usury if one tries to distribute. Can you say.. "double standard"?
At any rate, I am hereby rescinding the Edict to carry a personal copy of the Holy Tome at all times. Why line the pockets of these charlatans at our own expense?
If you really want to know "How he found Goddess, and what he did to Her when he found Her", simply spin up your Fnordnet transponder. After all, they're all connected to Mama Dis anyway; and she's the Goddess Incarnate.. containing all the Discordian knowledge and Holy Scripture known to primates.
Why give Liberty the business, or the pleasure? In fact, don't even give them the sweat off your yarbles. They're unrepentant cabbages, plain and simple.
Solicitor Naso will be wined and dined til his nose bleeds, and put on retainer for our next Podge-up; but effective immediately, the "Battle of the Holy Tome" is not even worth Five ounces of Flax.
To: Tasmainian devils
Comm ID: who do ya think?
Subject: Holy tombs
Message:
You mean I have to get rid of this thing when I haven't even got half-way through it yet? I'll consider getting rid of it once I'm finished reading it all, so say, maybe twenty-three years from now?
If your pet lawyer gives you any trouble I've heard threatening them with a bar usually helps.
Oh, and while I remember, I've signed a crewman on at FP6. Bit of a squeaky-voiced lad, but he works hard, keep catching him searching the scanners for something though...
your <strike>trusty</strike> totally untrustworthy (edited by comm terminal) wingman
To: Marauder
Comm ID: Mad John
Subject: Holy tomes
CC:The Lot o' Yez
Nah! don't get rid of the Tome, simply photocopy the whole lot and whiteout the the Title, substitute it with "How to Hold your Posture in New York" or "Why Polishing Your Shoes is Important" ... any likewise title will do.
Then stash it back under yer tailpipe fer reading later, the Greyfaces will never pick it up on their scanners.
Message to: [TAZ]Malaclypse
Comm ID: [TAZ]Discordia
*Heya, Mal,
*I scored a bingo tonight on one of those weird Harvesters. I tracked the "Harvester_10" all the way from New Berling to Texas, and finally caught up at Houston.
*The unit started demanding codes from me; but I told it that this time it was Big Brain's turn to cough up the data. The ship engaged me above Houston, but after finding out it couldn't even dent my shields, it started squawking something about *upgrade needed!* and started running for New York.
*The little Kadesh HF tried me once again at the Texas/New York gate, but my eagle-eye was too much for him.
*I picked some sort of data beacon and four survivors out of its wreckage. The one unioner and four xeno prisoner were in bad shape, so I took them up to Baffin for some healing time in the Geode.
*I'll get right on the data beacon, and send a report of its contents directly to your office.
Message to: [TAZ]Malaclypse
Comm ID: [TAZ]O'Shaunessy
*Oi, Chief,*
*Some very interestin' news regarding the Harvesters. I've learned they are susceptible to control commands for a brief period during their "shutdown" phase.
*Here's the gist of it. I came across a mining ship in New Tokyo, squawkin' "Harvester_05M&R". The first surprise was that the blighter wouldn't fire on me... somethin' about bein' in a "Kushan desigin" vessel. All well 'n good, as I wouldn't have had much chance against the bloody thing. It left New Tokyo headed for Shinjuku station.
*Moments later I receive a systems transmission.. "Commence harvesting." I made all speed to the Samura station, and indeed the ship was pullin' in some unfortunate GC patrols for its grisly purposes. Well, I couldn't stand to see those daughters o' Lesbos all syphoned 'n ground up, so I transmitted that Alpha whatsis Mama Dis gave the Fnordettes.
*The ship complied, and began to dock for its shutdown, and I suddenly saw the load o' poor souls it contained on me internal scan. Well, nothin' to lose, so I shouted at the tosser to deliver his cargo to me. A tad to late, as his auto-dock was already engaged. But, lo 'n behold, the monster undocked again, 'n jettisoned all the escape pods right there outside the station! I scooped em up, and we sat there lookin' at each other for a long spell, until the thing transmitted "Awaiting directive". Almost floored me.
*Well, I didn't think t' tell the Harvester to fly into the bloody sun. I was so surprised i just told it to resume auto-maintenance, and it docked on Shinjuku again, and went dark.
*Now, Mal, I dunno if this glitch was unique to the minin' ship, or if this might be somethin' we can exploit when the other Harvesters are encountered. If it affects all o' them, then it seems this Big Brain on Gammu ain't nearly as smart as o' you primates, even. The Zoners might have a chance to put 'em off this "bioform" diet for good 'n all, eh?
Remote ID: Sebastian Wrath
To: TAZ Broadcast Channel
Subject: Hiya!
So, I finally entered the Zone. I have filed to the registrar for a callsign change on my ship, and will, Eris willing, be known under the callsign "[TAZ]Punchin'Seb".
I will be available for escort missions for all Zoners and traders trading with Zoner bases, and TAZ will of course be given preference. I will also be available for other martial duties as the need may arise.
I currently fly an Order Nepthys, fitted with torpedoes in lieu of CD's, since I don't plan to chase trouble.
John Johnson - Master of Synth.Foods-Convoy|049
Hans Adler - Synth Foods escort wing