Open Bretonian channel

[Enkidu]

"Death sometimes comes with bacon, you exclaim? Well, I quite concur with you - whist comparisons to the swine can prove particularly humbling to a human, they regardless bear fruit. Such as the fruits of the pig…"

"…You see, the pig's corpse, once butchered to a level of visceral horror that would, if shown to another, considerably less-salted sister, no doubt induce a cardiac anomaly conducive to a second porcine corpse. Pigs die, this is their function as ordained by the common strain Homo-Infectious, having been bred for such a purpose over a myriad of millennia. But the pig, once dead, receives the one, singular, unobjectifying, glorified treatment it will ever experience post-death; it's shrink-wrapped, jellified, bulk-stored flesh, will be anointed in oil, before its final voyage into the gullet of another organism."

"The corpses of the human Kings of yore were pan-seared in oil, and so are the pigs of the present. This beggars the (mildly treasonous) query; is the breed of a King equivalent to that of a Pig? A sentiment Queen Carina and the majority of the Bretonian populi would readily concur with, I am sure, much to the disaffection of a certain society. But does this method of incineration lose any of its inherent flavour for it's proceeds? Frying is, after all, an effective way to rid the fried matter of disease and pestilence, in both a corpse and a rasher. The latter is (of course), only a mutillated component of the former..."

"I for one, aspire to die in oil."


"You may not know of me. I certainly remain ignorant of you - which is, in it's essence most ephemeral, a tantalising tantalus. A bud of fruit from the Tree Of Knowledge may have all sorts of unexpected, irreconcilable ramifications like a Taurus in the Proverbial People's Republic memorabilia parlour, 'tis true, but what is life's - and I am explicitly alluding to life here - let our minds be de-misted of any abhorrent disillusions - minor pleasures without the occasional sense of sin? Copulation, for instance, wouldn't be half as pleasurable an experience without the former input of the Catholic church; in short, the demonisation of the creation of life. Of course, as a homosexual, this irks me not.


"We humans do so enjoy rendering things difficult for ourselves, don't we just?"

*grins blithely. Or all-knowingly, depending on your outlook.*


"We, aim's, are the Commonwealth. Not a commonwealth of nations nore tawdry finance, but a Commonwealth of… aspirations. And if you fine fellows aim to strike up a dialogue with our order, then you need drag your gothic geists no higher than Tau 37, first biome on the right. We'll be waiting for you, aim's."


"Take this as an invitation - an outstretched hand, if you will. And now for the question; do you shake, or amputate?"

---

THE SYNDIC LEAGUES
(A co-operative of Rheinland's Shipping Unions, retired from a life of piracy.)

Information | Recruitment | Message Dump |
Feedback | Diplomatic channel

(Links pending redevelopment).

[Thunderer]

- Incoming Transmission -

-= No Encryption =-

Priority: Low
To: Attach to the Same Frequency
From: Admiral George Richard Hall
Location: Southampton Shipyard, New London System
Subject: Reply

"Receiving this, I assume the Gaians are planning to commit a mass suicide? Oh well. I'm perfectly fine with that.
I would, however, like to point something out - it will be your responsibility."

- Message Over -

---

Bretonian Treaty Database Bretonian Armed Forces Recruitment Center
Bretonian Charter of Interstellar Law Bretonian Secrets Act