To: LPI From: Temple of the Damned

[Garrett Jax]

Garrett Jax stood at the coffee machine staring at the coffee pot.

It was empty.

For hours, he stood there waiting for the coffee to appear, yet the pot remained sans coffee. This was horrible. A caffeine headache of epic proportions began to plague him.

The coffee supply was gone, ruined by a cockroach infestation. He continued standing there trying to think of what could be done to fix this situation. The Temple produced its own coffee, however, the cockroaches totally destroyed their stores and the Temple had to catch up on production.

What to do?

Garrett tried to think beyond the increasing pain of his raging headache. The caffeine withdrawls would soon have him lying in bed, writhing in pain. There was only one thing he could do.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. He had to call on the mortals for help.

He went to his personal office, fired up the terminal and began looking for coffee suppliers.

None.

Wait. There was a coffee shop in Fort Bush, a cafe named Sunbucks. It was frequented by officers from a local police force. Who cares? They had coffee, that's all that was important.

Garrett forced himself to concentrate, ignoring the headache while he still could. He records his message:

To the mortals that run the Sunbucks coffee shop,

FOOLISH MORTALS! I DEMAND ALL YOUR COFFEE!

*pauses*

My apologies, mortals. I have an awful headache right now and I'm a teeny bit on edge.

Rumors have crossed the A.D.M.I.N.S. ears of a coffee that you provide at your local cafe. It may surprise you to know that even WE drink this brew. However, due to an infestation of cockroaches, our coffee production has been defiled and we find ourselves in *desperate* need of a coffee replacement. We do not drink just any swill that people call coffee. So, if you feel your brew is not worthy of the A.D.M.I.N.S., then let us know now and we will look elsewhere.

*if this headache gets any worse, I might actually consider drinking the coffee Karlotta pissed on, thought Garrett*

I would personally like to stop by your Sunbucks location and sample some of this coffee of yours. If it meets to my satisfaction, and you have ample supply, I would make arrangement for a small shipment to be delivered until the Temple can catch up on production of its own.

Of course, you would be amply rewarded in some manner. We have all kinds of useful toys lying around here that you might find of interest. This can be discussed, after I've sampled your coffee and it has met to my satisfaction.

RESPOND IMMEDIATELY...er, Please respond at your earliest convenience.

[Admin]Garrett Jax

Garrett Jax stopped the recording. He placed his head on the desk, rubbing the temples of his forehead, waiting for a response.

---

[Fifty.]

John was just finishing his healthy afternoon coffee. "It is not a drink, it's a hug" he thought.
He emptied the cup with a loud slurp and went through his messages. A peculiar one caught his attention.
"What the.."
He read the thing over and over again and could believe his eyes.
It took a while, but he regained his senses and proceeded with a careful reply:

ID: Quartermaster Aryn
Current Location: Police Plaza
Priority: High
Encryption: High
Subject: Coffee

Dear.. immortal.. Admin.
I sincerely hope this transmission finds you well.
I.. regret to hear about your troubles. As you correctly guessed, we have the tool to help you ease the pain.
It's none else, but the Sirius-wide famous coffee brand, Sunbucks.
To be honest, we will be more than happy to have such a..customer.
Quite happy to be honest.
As you can see, we have Sunbucks Kiosks. These vessels usually venture into the known and unknown, delivering quality coffee to everyone.
...Uploading visual footage...


All our kiosks have a few of these.
Feel free to stop by and purchase as much of it as you like..should you find the taste suitable. Trust me, there is no better coffee in Sirius!
A reward you say? Hmm. We, here at the LPI, are not the greedy type of people, so a humble gift would suffice. As a token of good will.
I'm sure you will find some equipment in your never ending inventory in exchange for one of our kiosks.
Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, we do have a severe lack of cloaks on many of our ships. Complex capital armour upgrades as well.
Thank you for reaching us once again.
Looking forward to hearing from you.

---

[Garrett Jax]

An incessant beep indicating an incoming message stirred Garrett out of a restless sleep. He could barely move his head because of the caffeine withdrawls. It felt like someone was driving a nail through his skull.

Maybe it's the final nail, he moaned. Certainly feels like it.

The incoming message was from Quartermaster Aryn from Police Plaza.

Quartermaster, huh? You would think that an A.D.M.I.N. could rouse somebody a little higher up the ranks than that. Kind of insulting, actually. He read the message sent by the Quartermaster.

*The video footage of the coffee beans appeared*

"Oh, my aching head," he said aloud, as he observed the dark roasted coffee beans being tumbled and circulated. It was a beautiful sight to see. Oh, what a horrible person this Quartermaster Aryn was. The only thing that would have been worse is if he sent a video feed of himself drinking the coffee and then smiling.

"I'm going to kill that guy."

Garrett took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. It was only the headache talking. You have to have patience when dealing with mortals. He tried to sit up straight and focus on his reply:

Quartermaster Aryn,

I will overlook the delay in your response to my message. I will also overlook the fact that your leaders have chosen not to reply, but to delegate the privilege to a Quartermaster instead. I will also overlook the fact that you made my head hurt worse after seeing your video feed.

*That little bit of cruelty was almost admin worthy*

I will overlook all these things as long as your coffee tastes as well as it appears. I will stop by your Sunbucks location at Fort Bush and sample the coffee myself. In preparation of my visit, I would ask that you please check the premises and destroy any pests you might find there, particularly the cockroaches. I have bad experiences with them of late, and I do not wish to encounter any more of them in the future.

As far as payment is concerned, you mortals never cease to amaze me at how small your dreams are. You wish for cloaks and capital armor, when you can get these easily enough from among other mortals. I offer you something from among the god's inventory. Right now, parked in my garage, is a Twenty-Two Heavy Mortared Venator with an infinite power core. How would you like to have the keys to it for a couple days? Imagine the havoc you could wreck upon your enemies. But, if all you want is a couple cloaking devices, I could easily provide that.

However, I have yet to visit your Sunbucks location. Let us see whether you have a brew worthy of the A.D.M.I.N.S.

[Admin]Garrett Jax

---

[Garrett Jax]

Garrett sat quietly at his seat in Sunbucks, face burning from a bad coffee incident moments earlier. The place was abandoned, save for him, and he had no idea when he might be able to sample the coffee.

He grabbed his personal tablet and typed out a message to Quartermaster Aryn.

Quartermaster Aryn,

I am currently sitting alone at Sunbucks awaiting a cup of coffee. The first attempt ended in epic failure. However, I am desperate patient and I would very much like it if I could get some service here.

Thank you,

Garrett Jax

---

[Fifty.]

After coming back in his shuttle, John grabbed the PDA and read the message.
"Here we go.."
He went through his files..
"Apology template..apology template..There we go. Changing some words.. And done."
He quickly sent it and hoped Valent would get there in time...

ID: Quartermaster Aryn
Current Location: Blocked, but suspiciously similar to Fort Bush hangar area.
Priority: High
Encryption: High
Subject: Issues

Dear Mr.. Jax.
I sincerely hope this transmission finds you well.
I regret to hear about your experience and would like to apologise on behalf of the company.
I would like to thank you for the honest feedback, as it will help us improve our services for the future.
Rest assured relevant actions will be taken and the employees involved in the first attempt to provide you with a service will be sent to further training. I can promise you the second attempt will go smoothly, thanks to your feedback. Expect that soon.
However, I would like to remind you that we have never had such a customer, thus the results.
Accept our sincere apologies once again and thank you for the valuable feedback.

Kind regards,
Captain and Quartermaster Aryn

---

[Garrett Jax]

The beep on Garrett's personal tablet alerted him to an incoming message.

That was quick. He read the brief message.

Wait a minute. Garrett scanned his personal tablet under "Templates".

There he found the message he received from Quartermaster Aryn exactly the same, except for the names changed.

Garrett shook his head, sadly.

I just want a cup of coffee, he thought.

He thought back to the two waitresses. Better see about them. He typed out a message to Quartermaster Aryn.

Dear Quartermaster Aryn,

Thank you for your heartfelt apology and your sincere efforts to provide customer satisfaction. *Garrett tried not to laugh*

I eagerly await someone, anyone, to come and help me out here and I am confident that despite the fact you are all mortals, you can manage to bring me a cup of coffee.

As far as those two waitresses are concerned, I'm afraid that they might be in need of some immediate medical attention. They might be suffering from some post traumatic stress symptoms from the experience, although I tried to make my visit as pleasant as possible.

I know someone who can help. He comes highly recommended.

Respectfully,

Garrett Jax

---

[Doc Holliday]

Doc arrives, looking a bit annoyed and slightly tired
"I could use some coffee," he says to a waitress before seeing a good friend nearby.
"Why Garrett, I think I shall join you, Sir. I have some notes to compare on..." he looked around before finishing, "....on some problem people."

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[MFE]Med Force One | Tales of Recovery|Med Force Enterprises