PLANET HARRIS, TAU-31 - For months the Gallic Dax Fleet was replenishing its losses inflicted by our mine field around Planet Harris, as well as accumulating forces to overpower our garrison. Two weeks ago, the Admiralty was informed that they would soon be ready to launch a ground invasion. In response, the goods trade with the National Council of Malta was increased. This was but a diversion. It has allowed our lads to evacuate several thousand people from the planet largely unnoticed. Despite of this, 542 Planetform scientists chose to remain, mostly out of patriotic reasons.
The Admiralty lost contact with them on Sunday. They sent their last message, the contents of which are classified, at 12:15 Universal Time. According to the Intelligence Service, Gallic Royal Marines landed shortly after and firstly incapacitated the communications. The scientists who had remained, most of whom had glasses and no weapons, attempted to improvise a laser cannon with the use of the lenses of their glasses. However, the Gallic Marines acted with complete discourtesy, not even allowing the civilians to arm themselves properly before firing. The remaining scientists retreated under ground and attempted to oppose using what was left of the terraforming equipment, but without the usage of poisonous gasses, which was banned by the international convention. The Gallic Marines forced them out of the underground corridors with smoke grenades, after which they were taken prisoner.
On Monday at 15:58, the Admiralty was informed, by the commanding officer of the Dax, that Planet Harris had fallen. The EFL Oil and Machinery have carried on with the terraforming process, but should be encountering difficulties due to technology incompatibility.
We have tried to interview the esteemed commanding officer, but all we received was very incomprehensible. We have grounds to suspect that he, and an unknown number of his forces, are already suffering from the Harris Syndrome, also known as Lawl's. Adding to that, the wire taps that BIS agents had planted, most of which have not yet been uncovered, witnessed a pair of Gallic marines discussing about two of their comrades who had succumbed to a "large, black and white creature", which was unidentified. Some might relate this with the alleged sightings of the so called Glaswegian badgers, but skeptics will disagree.
The true question is: was this really a Gallic victory?
PROTECT YOUR HOUSE: Did you have relatives on Planet Harris? Do you fear that your planet might suffer a similar fate? Fear not, but enlist! The BMM currently offer a vast choice of workplaces, Bowex are in need of more strong arms to load and unload all the cargo that they ferry daily, the BPA could do well with more watchful eyes, and our lads in the BAF depend on no one else but you, the citizen of Bretonia, to defend our Realm and our Queen.
Alternately, to speak to a BBC journalist regarding a potential story, please contact us directly at haveyoursay@bbc.co.br
Commentator ID: wiseacre
Reputation: (A+2B)^C if A=1 B=-0.5 C= 7
Comment: Finally the proof
As every trustworthy scientist knows there is no doubt that the Glaswegian Badger ( Musteloidus Glasgowius ) is no myth but reality and now finally there is the proof!
[img float=left]http://i.imgur.com/rEY8Aet.jpg?1[/img] As it can be seen on this clear photography it is considerably bigger than a normal badger and accordingly more dangerous as well.
I assume they felt the presence of non Bretonian humans was a danger for them and therefore showed an aggressive behavior.
I will immediately grow me a mustache and start a strict baguette and wine diet, then get over to Harris and attempt athmospheric landing. If my research results are correct I will be able to get closer to the Glaswegian Badger than any scientist before me!