At first, Erik simply followed Doreen inside and took a stand next to the living room wall. He kept chasing her visually as she moved around to find a place for the flowers. However, the moment she spoke his wife's name his smile faded into a completely straight face. The phrase "it looks very much like the one I left for Cynthia at your family memorial." echoed in his ears. Truthfully, it wasn't that it bothered him... he was actually relieved in a way, knowing that Doreen was aware of his past, at least partially. However, he had hoped for himself to be the one to bring this topic up at some point... and her words came as a shock. His perplexity stopped him from focusing on what Doreen was saying for a few seconds.
"Why did I you might ask. Well, I wanted to learn something about her, about the woman who brought such a fine young man into this world, the woman who made you happy....." - "......who's shoes I want to fill and to whom I asked approval to....."
Hearing this commentary was illuminating. Finally, at least some of yesterday's confusion was starting to dwindle. His eyes were now betraying an air of curiosity as he concentrated on Doreen. Within her contemplative pause, he replied calmly "Go on..." He didn't know what else to say yet, so he just wanted to hear all she had to say now.
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
As she stood staring, thinking of where to go next, the tears fell heavier but she didn't make a sound. "Go on..."
She couldn't tell what he was thinking but she did know that he was at least interested. "I......" she started, shaking her head a bit, "...I have never felt this way. I never thought I would. I buried an old past after Benjen was born and I swore to myself not to fall for a man like that again." She then turned her wet face in Erik's direction, "Then I met you."
She turned her head back and began another slow walk towards the back of the room, "I.....met you. I met a man who was smart, caring, a good father and...... a widower." She fought back a hard cry and quietly added, "I had to know."
She wiped her face with her sleeve and continued. "I only heard how she died. When I heard that well, I didn't feel that I measured up I mean...." She threw her arms out, "...I'm not a fighter. Hell, I've never so much have been into a fist fight in my life and I preach peace to Ben." She put her arms back down as she was getting a bit louder, the tears still falling but she didn't wale.
"So here I find myself, having these.....feelings for someone. In my mind I'm telling myself that it's too soon, that we're co-workers and associates and my past comes to mind."
She started trying to pull down the sleeve of her left arm. When she did, it revealed the scarring that Erik had found before. She took a few step toward him so that he could see it up close.
"This," she said firmly, "is the result of immaturity. I could have had it removed but I chose to keep it as a reminder." She then pulled the sleeve back down and got somewhat quiet again.
"I was eighteen when Dad lost his job at Alster Shipyard," she began explaining. "He would disappear for days, even weeks, looking for work while Mom did as best she could to raise my brother and I. Finally, one time, I needed him. I had to know where he was when a month past so I snuck out with only the clothes on my back, my purse and some cigarettes. I frequented local bars trying to find him until this man said he could help me. I was naive enough to believe him so I went off with him and I found myself at a rock in the Bering System."
She paused a moment as light crying started but she continued, "Unioners. I had heard of them but never dealt with them. They were sympathetic. Before long I found myself at an even bigger rock in Dresden as I was traded over to the Red Hessians. Again I knew nothing about them but they told me they could help. Problem was, I had no money so I put on a tight skirt and began serving drinks and befriended Gunther. At least, I thought he was my friend. Turns out I was his trophy, a piece of ass. He told me everyday that he was looking for my father but......" She wiped her face and continued, ".....he was fighting Corsairs. Every night he came back to drink, smoke with me and have his way with me."
She sat down a moment on her sofa, "All I wanted to do was find Dad and I made a whore of myself to do it. Then I found myself pregnant by Gunther. I was terrified. What would they do with me I kept asking myself. I managed to hide it for awhile until he tried to have his way with me one night and found my belly out to here." She held her hands out to show a pregnant belly.
"I found your father," he told me, "he's at Freeport 5. I will take you there."
Again, she showed the scar, "We were in Omega 41, having just entered the system when three Corsairs jumped him. He got the first one and then the second before a missile ripped open his cockpit.
A look of fear crossed her face, "The last thing he said to me was 'take the escape pod, now." When I got in it, the ship was hit again and a piece of metal cut my arm open. I managed to escape....."
Her fear became both fear and anger as she almost growled, "Those bastards left me to die in that pod in the middle of the radiation fields of Omega 41. Not only was I cut but I was also close to giving birth. I had all of 24 hours of oxygen and even less water." She showed the scar again, "That's why I keep it."
She calmed a bit before continuing, "And just when I thought I was done, a ship. Finally, one stopped instead of passing. The timing couldn't have been better as my water broke. The Marshall Earp it said on the side. When the pilot came out, he saw me and said, "Oh shit." Within several minutes, he delivered Benjen and took us to Freeport 9. Yes, John Holliday saved me....saved us."
She stood back up and walked back towards the back part of the room, "He did more than that but you've seen the end results." She found herself somewhere between Erik and window from which she started, her tears still flowing. She was closer to him than the window as she pulled the sleeve down and held her arm up, "Erik, I needed Cythia's approval. I asked her for a sign of acceptance. I didn't feel that I measured up, I mean, she's a fighter and I'm not." She let the sleeve back down. "I told her that I want to fill her shoes.....that I want to take care of you because....."
That's when she fell apart. The tears, the heavy crying, a heave of her chest and then another, "....I.........I'm........" She was barely audible, "........falling in love.....with ...you." She was inconsolable at this point. "....and I don't know how to handle it." She could speak no more and she was close to falling off the wall that she was leaning on.
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
12 Sept. 824 A.S.
Doreen went on and on... providing a story that she had probably bottled up for what must've felt like forever. As she kept opening up and explaining further, Erik's face - which was fixed towards her - just kept transfiguring. Empathetic half-smiles and concerned looks kept appearing one after the other as she spoke through her tears. Hearing about her time as a slave... about Ben's conception and heritage... it broke him inside. He lost any smile he might have still had, unable to even come close to comprehending what she must have felt at the time... He felt sorry for her, because someone as... lovely as her... had to endure such misfortunes in life, no matter the reasons or mistakes she might have made.
His body, on the other hand, didn't flinch during the entire speech. He kept still as he allowed her to continue at a sluggish pace due to her tears getting the better of her. "I I'm falling in love with you." - he heard faintly - "....and I don't know how to handle it." And this was when he broke that pose. A gentle beam of compassion conquered his earlier facial expressions and he started to walk towards Doreen, slowly.
"You're wrong..." he whispered, but loud enough for her to hear. He kept coming closer. "You are a fighter." he continued in the same tone, approaching her step by step. A moment later, he was right in front of her. Looking downward, at her scarred hand, he grasped it in both his hands and held it up. "I saw it the first time we met... when you so easily jumped to offer help to our injured soldiers, when you weren't even part of our nation yet."
Caressing her hand, while his eyes were slowly rising, but not yet meeting her sight, he went on "You are a soldier. Your weapons are just different. Instead of guns and tactical skills, you use medical equipment and knowledge of the human body. Your enemy, instead of people, is death itself."
He continued to hold her hand just in his left palm. He used his right hand to tenderly touch her chin and tilt her head, raising her eyes to match his. He looked deeply into her hazel eyes, keeping quiet for a second. "And everything you've told me now... It must've taken great strength to go through it all... and enormous courage to admit it all now." - he was fully smiling now - "That's what makes a warrior ... one that I'm happy to admit I've fallen in love with as well."
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
She was still a mess. The whole story dug up memories that she long wanted to forget that she purposely buried. She wasn't one to harbor secrets and she wanted him to know everything. It was only fair. For a few moments that seemed like an eternity, she could only wonder if she would shame him into leaving her cold or accept her for who she was.
"You're wrong!" concerned her and "You are a fighter" confused her, not that she showed it. But then, praise. "You are a soldier. Your weapons are just different. Instead of guns and tactical skills, you use medical equipment and knowledge of the human body. Your enemy, instead of people, is death itself."
She never gave that line of thinking so much as a moment's thought. In a way, it made some sense. She was still crying, trying to pull herself together when she felt his hand under her chin so that he could look into her eyes.
"And everything you've told me now... It must've taken great strength to go through it all... and enormous courage to admit it all now."
She forced a smile of her own to meet his. Her face was soaked and gentle shudders in her body were felt as she continued pulling herself together.
"That's what makes a warrior ... one that I'm happy to admit I've fallen in love with as well."
This did it for her. She just fell on him, her head landing on his left shoulder while her arms gently surrounded him. Needing to reach up, it exposed the skin where her shirt was untucked but she didn't care. She was holding him and it felt wonderful.
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
12 Sept. 824 A.S.
Erik closed his eyes as Doreen embraced him. He hugged her tightly, his right arm just above her waist and his left gently stroking her hair. He just stood there, holding her, letting her shed whatever tears were left. The entire moment was tranquil... It lasted maybe a minute, maybe an hour. Neither one of them really knew, nor did they care.
Eventually, as she was finally composing herself a bit, he slowly lead Doreen to the living room window so they would lean on the sill and continue their conversation. Erik was just happy. Yesterday... he thought Doreen to be under any other kind of distress than all this. It was completely unexpected... but today it turned out to be something, in the end, good for both them. It ended their struggle to admit their feelings to one another and it was a great relief. One of the questions that rose up now was... how were they going to explain it to the boys?
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
She held him tight as his fingers ran through her hair. Her right hand gently rubbed his left side and back with her finger tips sometimes pressing the muscle around his ribs. Her mind was blank and she was content with it.
Even as they leaned by the window, she stayed tight to him. It was the first time she felt wanted. She finally managed a smile through her still red face as she looked up at him. Standing up on her tip toes, she did her best to kiss him, still standing there with her smile when she was finished. For now, they were alone and the world was theirs to enjoy. She turned a bit so that her back was towards the window. She leaned back a bit so that she could face him as she put her hands on his hips. It was like she was just looking at what was now hers.
What wasn't in her mind at least, for now, was how people at work were going to take it when she was the happiest person on the planet or when she went to Erik's lab, what would his associates say. Catherine would probably get a kick out of it. The kids? Well, Benjen already suspected. It was Peter she would have to wonder about.
For now, she was enjoying her time with Erik and nothing else mattered.
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
12 Sept. 824 A.S.
The ocean bared witness to their first kiss, through that apartment window. It was like sealing a deal. As they felt each other's lips, warmth coursed through Erik's body. He remembered this feeling, just barely... It had indeed been far too long since he last felt a woman's grace in this way. For the moment, he just couldn't let go of Doreen, keeping his right hand locked around her.
He enjoyed this quiet moment for a few more minutes - albeit it felt much longer than that. Afterwards, Erik finally decided to break the silence. He glanced towards the ocean's waves with visible hope in his eyes and asked softly "Hungry?" As nonchalant as it sounded after everything else... he thought that a lovely dinner would be the best way for both of them to get their feet back on the ground and start this relationship accordingly. Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to keep spending as much time as possible with her. He wasn't yet sure.
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
"Hungry?" "Slightly," she answered, still holding on to him. She was letting the good feeling flow between them. She wasn't just an object of a man's desires but wanted, not that desires were a bad thing under the right conditions and well, this felt right. She felt a little greedy too. Before her was the new love of her life and neither had to deal with the kids.
She gave a sigh, "Well, if we're going to go somewhere, I'm definitely not going out like this. I need a shower."
She gave him another kiss before she let go. A couple of steps away from him as she headed for her room, she stripped the shirt off that she was wearing and as she got closer to her door she reached behind to unclasp her bra. She would disappear through the doorway with a smile on her face. A minute or so after, she popped her head around the door frame smiling. "Erik, Honey, if there is something you want while you're waiting, help yourself."
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
12 Sept. 824 A.S.
He remained there, leaning back on the window sill. Seeing her start to undress was slightly enchanting. Cheeky... he thought with a silent smirk, before she went inside her room. He had also noticed the rest of her scars, going up her left arm and a bit on her back. Interestingly enough, they didn't affect her beauty. He turned around and started staring at what could be seen of the city. He had no reason to do anything else other than relax right now.
"Erik, Honey, if there is something you want while you're waiting, help yourself." Honey - such a casual and loving nickname. Hearing it made him chuckle for a few seconds. It was the first time in his life that someone named him like that. Being a military woman, Cynthia had always preferred formal speech, even when it came to her family. Doreen's way of addressing Erik, however, was a welcomed change of scenery in many ways. After getting over the moment, though, his mind finally registered the last part of her comment. He realised he was rather thirsty, so he walked by the bouquet he brought earlier, then into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. Adjusting a chair's position, he took a seat and quenched his thirst. He sighed with content... Ah well... who would've known.
Naggar Residence, New Thessalonica, Planet Yuma, Coronado
Erik has something in mind but she didn't know what. Standing in the rain of the shower, she stood in thought for a few minutes. A light smile was on her face. "You are a fighter" resonated in her mind. He was right. Medicine in the wrong hands was indeed a weapon. Any Outcast physician fit this bill as they injected everyone with Cardamine.
"And everything you've told me now... It must've taken great strength to go through it all... and enormous courage to admit it all now."
Her smile brightened a bit at this thought as she ran her left hand up her right arm. It was a huge load off of her back. "That's what makes a warrior ... one that I'm happy to admit I've fallen in love with as well."
She felt giddy about this. Love was still new to her but it felt good. If it felt this good now, imagine how it would be as they grow together. Time would tell but she had no doubts.
Having soaped up her body and washed her hair, she rinsed and finished, wrapping a towel around her and her long, red locks in another. She started going through her wardrobe. She wanted to look not just good but beautiful for him, kind of like the day they met when she was wearing green even if it wasn't her favorite color. She stuck her head around the door again, her hair still wrapped, "Do you have a favorite color?"