Lights turn on. Eyes get a blurr caused by the sudden substitution of darkness with light. With a look outside you would see chunks of ice, radiated by the sun in the center of the system. Was it always this beautiful?
Kathleen gets up and holds her forhead. She is suffering a migraine. Her body looks frail, it's so thin. It's almost like she hadn't eaten in days. It has been almost a year and Kathleen is still not fully used to her position. The migraine worsens. She feels her head pounding. It feels like having her head pressed between hands of someone, who deeply dislikes her. Could this be hands of her father? Or her mother? Do they hate her for her sudden disappearance? Do they hate her for entering the opposite side?
Imagine you see the system from above. You see three ice asteroid fields placed around the bright, white sun. They are making some sort of edges around the populated section of the system. There are two planets close to the northern, Sierra, field and one in between Tahon and Whitney field. Deeper inside the Sierra field a station is located. The Hesperia outpost is the main center of operations for the Hellfire Legion. This is the place Kathleen just woke up in.
Walking around the hangar, Kathleen watches her ship. It is the Liberty's "Upholder" bomber. It looks old, but it isn't. In fact, it is fairly new. Significant damage decorates the ship. This puts Kathleen in trouble. Each time she opens the neural net, the money balance makes her sick. She doesn't have enough. She lacks the money. That's because the bomber makes her a big, slow target, which requires lots of money to fix. Her whole salary is depleted on one repair.
Anxiety falls on Kathleen all of sudden. She lacks a smaller, faster ship. However, the shortage of money is blocking her from buying it. The Upholder can't be sold, nobody wants some piece of scrap metal. Same with all the damaged equipment. Her cargo wasn't a win either. Just some unvaluable water, randomly tractored amongst the asteroids of the beautiful Sierra field that makes cover for the base Kathleen lives in.
A spoon floats in a soup. It starts sinking down. As the edges of the it are completly surrounded by the almost boiling meal, It drowns immediately. It's like Kathleen's case. A single event was enough to push the spoon deep enough for it to sink. Her life was drastically changed right after it. But there is always someone, who pulls out the spoon. There is always someone who is able to help and pull his comrade out of the boiling water.
With small sips Kathleen finishes the dish and proceeds back to her room. Every time she walks past a mirror, an ugly hag stares back at her. It's irritating. All the stress and pain made her look like a natural disaster. Youth is no more. She isn't the pretty lady she used to be. Luckily, no one around her really cares about her appearance. Just one thing matters and it's her ability to fight. But that is now lost as well.
The Upholder makes the fighting more complicated for Kathleen. Suicidal even. She cannot do anything about it. The enemies fly lighter ships that are insanely hard to take down. She daydreams of her piloting a propper fighter. How amazing would it be? This dream burns to dust each time Kathleen realizes her issues.
An attempt was made.
Kathleen enters her room and starts recording a transmission. She starts with an imidiate apology and continues with expressing her situation and feelings. More apologies are made in process, because she feels like it's a necessary thing to do. When it's all ready, she sends it.
Kathleen is standing there. Alone, consumed by dark thoughts. Just one part of her remains. It's her heart. It is constantly pounding. The love for her parents is hidden inside. Now its frequency raises as she hits the button to make the message available for her Dad.
Waiting for a response is seemingly the only hope left.
It's been a day. No response. Maybe they really hate her after all. A trickle of tears starts flowing. Her heart feels like a ball of wool pierced through by knitting needles. That's the way it ended up and it could've been expected. Kathleen stands here, at Hesperia. Most of her life she spent with closed eyes.
Blind.
The speed of tradelane makes the crystals in badlands blur. It's so dark. Scary as well. Kathleen sits in her Upholder, chasing a strange military soldier. Higher speed is necessary. It continues until they get near the Allentown base in Pennsylvania, where a group of rogues waits to ambush them. Whilst fending off the reckless attacks, Kathleen lays her eyes on radar. She jumps. A red stain. A stain of elite fighers. They take down the Rheinland soldier in seconds. Kathleen prepares her escape pod just in case. But no fighting occurs. Instead, words of wisdom are spoken. The words. They are so convincing. The Hellfires leave. She doesn't know if she's more surprised, or disappointed. The whole time until this happened, she has been blind. Yet the world got even darker with eyes open.
Kath blows her nose. Her skin is pale. Her body is so thin that a man is able to see the bone silhouettes. "It's past. They are past," she speaks to herself while getting up from the bed. The bed's pillow is salty from absorbing all the tears. Tears of remorse.
Cluessness brought her here. The office of Cristopher Dalgaard, the executive commander of the Legion himself.
She knocks.
From the other side of the door and upon the conclusion of her knocking, a male voice would announce in a crisp and clear manner. "Come in."
On the other side of the door would be a single man, seated in front of a table, looking up from whatever work he was tending to in order to look at whoever had come to his office. Upon seeing Kathleen and noting the fact that she was indeed one of the actively serving Legionnaires who had shown promise, he'd set aside his figurative paperwork and look at her with his full attention. "Lieutenant. Something I can help you with? Do you need something requisitioned?" He had all the forms at the ready, he only needed to know why she was here.
"But please feel free to take a seat first." He'd gesture to one of two that was provided for visitors, placed just in front of his work-desk. Taking note of the fact that she didn't seem to be in very good shape at the moment, which did give him cause for concern, he was rather confident that he could solve whatever her issues might be, he had the authority.
Is this some sort of psychic instability? Could this be social anxiety? Kath is a shy person. Why it is like this is not certain.
"G-good day."
The seat is taken. There's a silent moment. There are words to be said, but they don't come out. It is a bit awkward. Luckily Kathleen finally starts.
"I-I'm sorry for- erm... disturbing you. But t-there is an issue. Erm, I mean, I have troubles with-"
She realises how terrible and unclear the speech is. Her pale face turns tomato red. It's so shameful. However, going on is necessary.
"I need, erm, a b-better ship. Very heavy fighter class, b-because my bomber is too big."
Inside her head are constant regrets of the incorrectly formulated sentences that are said.
"T-the problem rests in my l-lack of m-money."
This frightens Kathleen over the top. The words she says make her feel like a beggar, although she's not asking for money. All she wants is a simple advice.
"W-what can I do to- erm... Or h-how do I get out of this? I-I mean what should I do n-not to have this problem?
With a racing heart and sweaty forhead, the final words are said. Emptiness is filling Kathleen's stomach. There is hate growing inside her everytime she talks with someone important. A hate towards herself. She often escapes reality and dreams how amazing it would be to live with a different personality. A peronality free of anxieties and uncertainities.
Sitting, waiting for an answer and hoping the commander actually understood are the only things to do.
He was rather taken aback by her apparent tone, body-language and disposition, she almost seemed traumatized.
"There's no reason to be nervous Lieutenant, if you do truly need a new ship then all you've got to do is fill out these forms and I'll have it moved to one of the hangars here. It'll take roughly one to two days, but that's it."
That was rather truly all she had to do, he was a little surprised she hadn't done this much earlier, but perhaps she just didn't understand the system. Not everyone was a concept-grasping intellectual at the end of the day, so perhaps she needed a few pointers.
"I'm in this office all day, every other day of the week, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, if you have any questions regarding procedure or need help filling a form, please ask me. As an XO, that's my job. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I'm usually engaged with Commonwealth Bureaucracy and Sunday is my only day off. Your equipment and basic provisions as one of our pilots is for us to provide and furnish to you, you don't need to have the money for it, we'll give it to you. Anything you need to properly serve, we'll provide. We even offer payment schemes to our Legionnaires. I'm a little disappointed nobody instructed you about this, but at least you know how the system works now."
He hoped he'd helped her see things a little clearer after explaining all of that.
As he'd mentioned before he'd pull out a set of forms and place them on the table before her, all she needed to do was fill them out and he'd have them processed.
With wide open eyes and a noticable surprise in her face, she glances down at the documents. This she wasn't told. Perhaps they forgot.
Before that moment when a wrong decision was made, there's Kathleen in Colorado system, near Pueblo station, occupying an Eagle, civilian very heavy fighter. The lane is distrupted. Both, her ship and a transport, which was escorted by her, are thrown out to be stopped by a foolish pirate. There is no hesitation. The place is turned into a battlefield in seconds. Pieces of metal separate from the pirate's bomber. It starts to burn too. He realises he lost and screams. The pod is tractored and brought to Huntsville, where Kathleen is rewarded not just for catching a pirate, but for escorting a trade ship to safety too. She has felt pride for her deeds. Mistakes were made because of it and there was one Liberty police officer more.
It is so nostalgic.
The documents are signed. It is a relief. The fact that she will be as agile as she used to be. That makes her satisfied.
"It is done. I apologize for my nescience, but as you said I, erm, probably wasn't told this."
It is psychics. Less stress is felt. The changes in her speech are surprising. Astouding even. But it's still not perfect. More strenght can be felt too.
"Thank you for informing me."
Now that the problem is solved, Kathleen proceeds back to her room. The thoughts of her parents still cover half of her heart in darkness. The depression isn't gone and it doesn't look like it will be.
Something big is about to happen. Impatience fills the atmosphere. The city of Denver is resting. Doors screech and a short person comes in. With a single look on her, you would realise how beautiful she is. No circles under the eyes. Long, loose hair, well combed. Not a frightfully thin body too. An abandoned letter is there, placed on the table. It reads:
"With happiness and love,
concern and fear too,
we grant you this gift,
we hope it will serve you."
At this point the author is obvious. Kathleen's heart jumps a bit. It is her birthday. Since now, the laws allow her not just to be in a possesion of a ship, but piloting it as well. She knows what the gift is. It's the moment she's been waiting for her entire life.
She hurries outside. It's cold, but she is warm. Sound of knocking on the hangar's door can be heard. It opens up. It was expected, but still a surprise. A magnificent,
dormant ship peeks out at her. The Eagle, civilian very heavy fighter. Her parents stand on the left. Father is holding mother in an embrace.
"Don't forget your papers." her mum says carefully.
She walks up to give them a loving hug, crying tears of hapiness.
Her dad whispers: "Whatever you do, be careful out there. There are bad ones too. Their intentions are to slit your neck."
"I will."
So much nostalgia is felt. The new interior of the ship smells good. Its shape is beyond likable, it is quite simmilar to the border worlds series. And the survivability hasn't been tested yet. Kathleen looks out of a bar window. The icy asteroids reflect sunlight into her face. She narrows her eyes.
![[Image: BaEwWFY.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/BaEwWFY.jpg)
