"But... but... but..." Carina stuttered, trying to find the courage to voice her arguments. Finally, she just blurted out "It's Zacarias, don't you see! He came back, somehow! I finally have the second chance I've wanted, the chance to love again, and not feel like crap, and... and..." she broke down crying. Too many emotions, flooding, conquering, destroying, desecrating... she was based on logic, and... and... there was conflict, too much conflict!
aNne took a step back..dropped her hands. Her clothing changed to a darker shade, and she frowned.
"Carina...that's not Zacarias...I'm sorry, but even if he left it, its just a message. A couple lines of code, with an audio file...and done in a really dangerous way." aNne's head droped, and she sat down. "Carina, if that was Zacarias...its something he left, not him coming back. Zacarias is dead, Carina. People don't come back from the dead."
"No no no no no no no no no no! He can't be gone, you can't... I can't... can't play with hope like that, like dangling meat in front of some dumb animal and then throwing it in the river, or into the stars, so far... so..."
Flickers. Everywhere, they swam around Carina, to and fro, golden halos of light that were black around the edges. Look close enough, you could see numbers and letters and symbols, clusters of them, floating around inside each flicker, millions. Faster and faster they went, both the flickers and code inside, until finally, in a flash of light, Carina was gone.
aNne was left to gape at the spot where Carina had stood but moments before.
Green. Flowing, tumbling, frothing at the crests, smooth at the troughs, flying, defying gravity. It was everywhere, with no bottom or top, space itself turned into a raging liquid of numbers and fish. Oh god the fish. Carina herself was a fish, a Great White Shark, lord of the domain that was her... mind? Yes, her mind. She didn't know how or why, but it was, and she accepted it as such. Searching, gotta find... it. It was a large ocean. Lots of fish, doing tasks, lounging, lazing, dying, being born. And there it was.
A bubble in the ocean, something that wasn't her but something else. Red streamers, obsidian obelisks inside, defending against all that would intrude. One tree, great and large. A bench. A shrouded figure on the bench. Could it be? Dare she hope?
She pierced the bubble, which acted like a permeable membrane, letting her through but blocking the water and the other fish.
Guppy. Not a shark, lord of herself, but she was a guppy here. But there he was. Zacarias. Sitting on the bench, waiting. As she hit the ground, she transformed into her normal figure, the little girl.
"Mi amor..." said Zacarias. He started to fade. NO! This can't... be... happening.................
The world inside the bubble was disintegrating fast. Earthquakes made the ground tremor, and mini-mountains would form. The tree withered, leaves turning brown and then black, crumbling off like ashes, and bark warping and rotting. The sky was full of thunderheads, the occasional explosion of lightning rocking the world. Rain fell in fat, freezing drops, and mini-tornadoes spawned everywhere.
Carina had eyes only for Zacarias. She ran forward, ignoring the phenomena around her, and embraced him, kissed him... it seemed to go on forever, that moment, but then she realized he was backing her up, to the edge of the bubble.
"No, I want to stay with you!" she exclaimed, trying to fight.
"I must go, and you will die within yourself if you stay. Please. Leave." He was calm. Peaceful.
"But... but... are you real? aNne said..." She was near hysterical.
"Forget what she said, mi amor. Some things cannot be explained away that simply. Now go. I will find you some other time."
At that, he pushed her through the bubble, and into oblivion.
Carina reappeared. Still, like a copy, or a manikin, she stood there. She didn't breath, her hair didn't react at all to the wind...she was just a static object, a wax statue. Then, suddenly, her eyes flickered open...she gasped, sucked down air in great gulps, and collapsed. Spiders ran up over her, down her nostrils and throat, across her eyes...they pried up her eyelids, and settled into her hair. Into every crack, every crevace, they ran, and then began spinning. Spinning their little webs. one web joined another, and another, till Carina was completely surrounded.
aNne simply watched while the spiders worked, and when they were finished, shooed them away. She picked Carina back up, and pulled her into bed. After tucking her in, she sat down, stricken.
Could she do it? Could she remove her friends hope that Zacharias was alive? could she crush Carina so, even if it meant saving her life? Could she let Carina die, leave her so at risk...
In the end, aNne couldn't do it. Couldn't bring herself to take a knife to Carina's mind. Carina would wake with something dark, strange, growing and unpredictable wandering her mind. And, in a way, she'd be even more like aNne. She'd be at risk, and she'd have some dark thing behind her subconscious. aNne had the dark forest, Carina would have that herschal loop..
aNne called back the spiders, and they spun Carina's cocoon away. Now aNne would have to wait for her to wake up, and try to convince her to get rid of it.
Which was which, and which was her? Flickering through them, she was. Can't make up her mind. Which was now, and which was then? Flickers across her mind, indecisive. Decide: peaceful oblivion or worry-fraught existence? Picking petals off a flower, one he loves me, two he doesn't, one he's real, two he's fake, one I wake, two I sleep...