Still fleshing out the text, I re-wrote the passage. It's incorrect grammar to switch between past, present, and future tense in the same paragraph. So I made it all past tense, built it up nicer, and sounds more edgy and spiteful. The font and style is more then epic fail, I just put it up so I know what I'm working with.
I think I might make a nicer planets, these ones just came out too blurry compared to the overall sharpness of my space field. I'm also trying to figure out if I should reduce the text even more and put something behind it just to help set the text out.
Well at least it is getting there...*
<div align="right">*If you believed this are you this guy?</div>
Very beautiful banner, though I am guessing your scrapping the whole Dagger idea?
Maquis|Leon.LaBreau-If your interested in joining the Maquis PM me. [RM]Of.Viktor.Niklovach[RoS]GhostFace[E]David.DeWester[101st] Order|Ens.Adam.Jones[C]Jean.Claude.Moreau Kruger Security-Johann Von Struger]bd[Akio.Kimura
Our brothers from the Alliance have betrayed us,
They hoped we would never return to seek out Justice,
THEIR hopes were in vain...
In secret we built another sleeper ship.
In secret we followed them to Sirius.
It has been long, it has been hard,
But now we have grown, we have flourised, we have prospered.
Their time will come,
We will never forget.
Is what I think it should be. The capitaled word is the one you put in wrong.
' Wrote:Our brothers from the Alliance have betrayed us,
They hoped we would never return to seek out Justice,
THEIR hopes were in vain...
In secret we built another sleeper ship.
In secret we followed them to Sirius.
It has been long, it has been hard,
But now we have grown, we have flourised, we have prospered.
Their time will come,
We will never forget.
Is what I think it should be. The capitaled word is the one you put in wrong.
I will now return to my booze.
Seth
Yeah my girlfriend pointed that out too, thanks for the reminder, I'm doomed to forget it. I'm going to be taking a break on this for the holidays, as well as the fact I've been working on this and not enjoying some time in Freelancer. So I'll most likely pick this up next year.*
<div align="right">*If you believed this are you this guy?</div>
' Wrote:You wouldn't know me, I joined about two months after you jumped ship, but I did a lot of homework when I registered and I know who you are. Hello, Dave.
And if I may suggest...perhaps it's fine as it is? Just add the text in the empty space. Simple, clean, concise, effective. Like the old banner, but on a slightly larger scale.
Good work, Vic. I'm liking it. Obviously the text needs to stand out a bit more, and there was that little error Seth pointed out, but overall it's very nice.