Bad poetry corner

[Jihadjoe]

This is a thread dedicated to fail. A homage to the those who's way with words could be likened to a blossoming rock.

I hereby challenge you, ladies and gentlemen of flood, to craft the worst poetry known to mankind. Verse so truly awful that Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz would shake to his hideously ugly boots. So appalingly clichéd that sports commentators would run screaming from it's edifice of conventionalised bull.

In the words of Salvador Dali - "The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot."

Ladies and gentlemen, embrace that idiot. Be that idiot. Craft, caress, and form the most horrendous works of literary turd you can manage, and post them for our enjoyment.

I will get the cube rolling with my own offering.

*He clears his throat and speaks with a dramatic tone*

There was a young man called Joe,
Who's poetry didn't quite flow.
Might be because after
The first
Two lines he totally screwed up
His own metre and rhyming pattern seemingly on purpose
Just to mess with
People.


And now, your turn.

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[Maraud3R]

Militärparade

"Scheiße", dachte der Groß-Herzog
Als das Heer vorrüber zog.

Auch die Herzogin flüsterte leise:
"Scheiße, scheiße, scheiße, scheiße."

Und sie hatten beide Recht,
Denn das Heer war wirklich schlecht.

[Jihadjoe]

Honestly, I have no way of judging how bad that is.

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[Marburg]

Once upon a midnight dreary, as I pondered weak and weary,
over many a quaint & curious thread of floody bore.
While I modded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a sapping,
As of some one gently yapping, yapping at my forum door.
'Tis some trollster," I muttered, "yapping at my forum door,
Only this...man, what a chore

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[Maraud3R]

Ask Cody, Korny, or Schlurbi.

[Jihadjoe]

'Burg, that didn't quite grate on my psyche as much as it could have done. Infact it was almost tolerable.

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[Scaryowl]

You must really check this thread

Full of masterpieces!

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[Rommie]

I fly my Nyx into the night
Anticipating the eternal gank
For I am an alcolyte of Panzer
And fear has me not.

I see the my contact list increasing
But now my bots remain no longer
For the ionstorm had struck,
And I fear the orange powder.

And as they're already firing
And my ganksquad isn't here,
Oh how much I wish I had
My lovely sollie Thannie.

~Rewrote some to make it sound better. My bad poetry is too good.

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In space, nobody knows I'm a panda

[Dusty Lens]

iPhone sucks for this.

Rus in spring my valor is bling
Rus in summer my legate is power
Rus in winter my brick wins ever
Rus in fall my juggy make u fall too

[Chev]

Well, I don't like bragging, but I'm pretty good at my native language (some wins at competitions and stuff like that). But I really suck at English poetry. Backie was pretty good on that though.

I'll try to make something unbelievably bad as soon as possible.

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