The soft chiming was suddenly replaced by a deeper tone reminiscent of a large metal "gong". In the small anteroom behind the "podium", Malaclypse looked at Lev Shestov and circled one finger in the air. Lev nodded, and closed the breakers on large fans which would quickly replace the air in the smoke-filled chapel. He wanted the attendees receptive.. not dozing off.
The gong sounded a second time, as Mal took one last peek at the monitors in the anteroom. The crowd seemed sufficiently settled. He was somewhat surprised to see more than a few past and present members of TAZ in the congregation. Mal composed himself and reviewed his "sermon" mentally; and by the fifth deep, lingering tone, he was ready.
The self-proclaimed Episkopos Prime of the Goddess Eris and her Church in Sirius stepped from the anteroom into view of the seated crowd. He wore a pure white cowl-less robe with the golden Apple of Eris emblazoned on the left breast. He advanced a few paces towards the crowd, extending his open hands in greeting.
"Kallisti! And Welcome, seekers of the Goddess!" (He knew damn well that most of them weren't seeking anything, and would "find" even less.)
Hands still extended, Mal's voice rose a few decibels.
"Who makes the grass green?!?" Mal's pure white robe had instantly changed to a deep green.
There were a few gasps and "oohs" from the crowd; but no one ventured a reply to his question.
"And who makes the sky blue?!?" Again, the color of Mal's robe instantly changed to a soft blue hue. This time a few catcalls and boos could be heard among the gasps; but again, no answer was forthcoming.
Malaclypse shook his head slowly, as if saddened by the lack of response. He placed his right hand over the sigil on his breast, and "plucked" a yellow apple, which he tossed nonchalantly into the air. With his left hand he caught the apple, and flipped it repeatedly into the air as he continued speaking.
"Come now!! Not even a guess??" He placed his hand over his breast again, and a second apple soon joined the first, juggled effortlessly by his left hand.
Again the right hand over the sigil; but this time he held the third apple and extended it towards the grumbling crowd.
"This apple is yellow, but why??"
The third apple joined the first two without missing a beat, as Mal stared at the crowd. This time, a few half-hearted responses came back from the throng: "God made the sky blue.." "Light refractions!" Mal's inquisitive stare turned to a small smile.
"Yes. The Scientist knows, and will prove, that color is solely dependent on reflecting or absorbing different light frequencies." A fourth apple joined the three being juggled by the Episkopos' left hand.
"The Theologian will tell you that it is due to some omnipotent force which created all things, and their accompanying color schemes! The Particle Physicist will insist that the apple is colorless until an Observer happens to notice it and goes 'Oooh... yellow!'"
A fifth and final golden orb appeared, and their flight became circular rather than vertical as Malaclypse began to use both hands.
Mal paused a moment, surveying the crowd. Most seemed to have their attention focused on the apples moving through the air; but he also took note of the few who seemed to be focused on his words.
"The Zen Buddhist will answer this Koan with another: 'Who is it that asks who?'; and the TAZ will undoubtedly tell you that the answer is 'Five Tons of Flax!" At this, he cast a broad wink at the TAZ Popes grouped together as if for comfort and safety.
It was time to raise the stakes, and separate the group into "rubes" and "marks". Without missing a beat, Malaclypse crossed his ankles and was instantly seated za-zen, the apples still making their circular orbits between his deft hands.
"All of these answers are true, in sombunall sense!"
He placed his hands, cupped palms upward, in his lap.
"All of these answers are false, in sonbunall sense!"
The apples continued to spin in their circular paths, but their flight became slow and sedate. More gasps and catcalls ensued from the audience. Mal smiled gently, and paused momentarily to watch the apples himself.
"But most of all, they are meaningless. The Golden Apple of Eris is merely a metaphor. A focal point. An object of adoration and meditation. It gives the Mind and Soul an anchoring port while sailing the stormy seas of Illumination."
Now for the heresy.
"In truth, ANY metaphor will do, and have been used for millennia to raise consciousness!"
The revolving apples suddenly became geometric shapes.. a pyramid, a triangle, a star tetrahedron, a sphere, a diamond. The shapes of "Sacred" geometry.
"The Hindi spoke of 'Raising the Serpent'; the Meso-Americans of the 'Union of Eagle and Snake'.."
The apples transformed again, becoming writhing snakes; here, entwined in a "cadeucus"; there, wrapped about an Egyptian "ben ben" or a foliated cross; and there, held captive in the talons of a great bird.
"The color, or the shape, or the Symbol itself is of little importance, as long as it furthers the process of connecting your Mind, Body, and Spirit to the Energies which pervade every nook and cranny of the Universe!"
The flying shapes became apples again. Their orbits diminished until they became a single golden orb, which settled gently into Mal's right hand. He gazed at the apple briefly before taking a huge bite and chomping noisily, eliciting another round of confused chatter from the congregation.
Mal was standing again, hands outstretched towards the crowd. Some would say the middle-aged man "rose" to his feet during the outbreak. Some would later swear he "rose" in the air before extending his crossed legs to the floor...
"YOU are the Master who makes the grass green! Wake up!!"
"YOU are the Random Factor which will either accelerate, or impede, the next step in Humanity's evolution! Wake up!!
A tinge of hostility entered the confusion. Several of the crowd were standing now.. pointing accusing fingers or shaking angry fists. Mal raised his hands, and spoke with quiet conviction.
"You ALL have the ability, and the power, to make the needed connection. Call it what you will. Samadhi, Samsara, Illumination, Raising the Fire, or simply "juggling the Apple". Like everything else worth doing, it requires concentration and practice, desire and WILL!
"Oh, one more thing I promised: It's not truly kept "secret" by the TAZ; but it is not widely proclaimed either. The Geode in Baffin is not just a "tourist attraction". It IS a place of power, where Cosmic Energies are intensely focused, by design or by accident. Visit the Geode. See for yourselves. That is all I ask."
Malaclypse smiled softly at the congregation, and raised his arms again in benediction. A golden glow began to bathe the Episkopos, growing gradually brighter and larger until it almost obscured his form.
"May Eris Bless you on your journey. And may she damn well goose you in the arse if you haven't begun it yet. All Hail Discordia!"
The glow became almost unbearably bright, and then winked out. Malaclypse was nowhere to be seen.
Lev looked around at the crowd. Mal had withdrawn and the stunned crowd sat in silence. Slowly whispers began to ripple across the crowd. Some reacted with awe, others with confusion, and of course, as Lev noticed the TAZ folk, he could see a look of concern on their faces quite clearly.
Lev looked over at Athena along the wall with her girls, with a quick nod, he looked over at the residents of Baffin. Athena nodded in response and whispered to her girls, who quickly made their way over to the TAZ priests.
Lev made his way up to the front of the crowd. He noticed Reggie Waverly toward the front, trying to find a way into the back.
"Hey Reg, give me a minute to let these folks know where to go, then we can have a little pow-wow.
Lev went up on the stage and called the crowd to attention.
"Hey hey all you folk! Listen up real quick. Quite a show wasn't it? I image you all are a bit ready to go yea? So the Cave is open on the promenade, and I have just received word that the first round of drink or smoke is on the good gentlemen Mr. Reggie Waverly."
Lev looked over at Reg, gave a big smile and a wink. Waverly on the other hand was wearing a scowl and a red face.
"So head on over to the Cave and get hammered ya hear?"
Lev headed right over to Reggie. He didnt know the man well, and Lev really didn't like pissing people off, but Mal was one of his only true friends in Sirius, and Lev didn't take that lightly. There were few people Lev held in higher regard than Mal.
As Lev got over to Reggie, he knew the man was about to burst.
"Listen Reg, I know your pissed, I get it, and I hated doing it to ya, but ya see, there is more going on here than I understand, but I know this is what is supposed to be happening right now. I know you want to talk to Mal, but ya can't. That little shindig take a lot out of the man, he needs some time to rest up. But listen, I know he will want to talk to you at some point, why don't you head over to the Cave, go on up to the office and one I get this place shut down, I will head back over and you can yell at me all ya want."
Reggie was about to object when Lev walked off in the other direction. Shaking his head at the absurdity of it all, Reggie headed out to the bar, figuring that's where the next stop in his search was going to take him, and this idiot Shestov was going to have to be the one to get him there. What luck....
Lev started clearing the rest of the folks out, a few of the Tazzies needed a shove, but eventually the hall was cleared. Lev looked things over and then pulled a pad of paper out of his pocket and a card. Lev wrote a note addressed to "Old Man" and he placed the keycard on top of it.
Quote:Hey, Old Man,
I am going to be heading to the office in the Cave to try and put Reggie off for a bit. Here the key for my place up on level 27, should be private for you. Got to tell you though man, I didnt understand a word of that, but you sure seemed to get em stirred up.
Lev
Lev hit the lights and headed out, dreading what state the bar was going to be in when he got back.
Nooblet\' Wrote:Living life as a Zoner? Sure, on my Eagle, Kingfisher, Conference, Fearless, Corvo, Aquilon and/or Juggernaut perhaps. Not on an Advanced Train or Zoner Whale.
After Mal had vanished, Charlie remained seated as the apes around him began to scratch their heads and murmur discontentedly to each other. His eyes were still rooted on the spot where Mal had been. The Episkopos' crazy golden lightshow had reminded Charlie of one of his favorite hymns from years gone by:
[color=#FFCC00][font=Palatino Linotype]O, Blinding Light!
O, Light that Blinds!
I cannot See!
Look out for Me!
*thud-crash*
Folks were starting to get up and move to the exit. A man that Charlie just barely recognized as some other resident of Freeport 14 had made a speech and was now herding the masses toward the door.
Charlie grunted and removed himself from the most comfortable chair he'd placed his posterior upon in over a year. No point in sticking around if this place was clearing out. Didn't that guy say something about free booze? That would hit the spot right about now.
Well, Charlie thought. Might as well head to the Cave before the drink runs out. Charlie stretched his legs and followed the congregation to the shuttles.
Reggie had become more than a bit "peeved" at the Shestov fellow. His request to see Malaclypse immediately had been denied. Instead he had been given a keycard to Lev's private quarters on the Freeport, with "instructions" to gather the other TAZ members for a private "audience" in fifteen minutes. Bollocks!
Doc, Mad John, Gaby and the others would not be amused either, he was certain; but he returned to the group and conveyed the instructions. A heated debate ensued, with one group still curious as to Mal's behavior and purpose; while another was ready to leave immediately, furious with that same behavior.
Reggie turned from the debate and began to observe the crowd still milling about the Chapel. It was fairly obvious from the conversations and gestures that the majority of those remaining were either amused by Mal's cheap theatrics, or angry at the man's exhortations to "Wake up!"
A few of the attendees remained thoughtful and silent, as if still contemplating what they had just seen and heard. Reggie's keen gaze soon noted that these few folk were being approached individually and discreetly by Mal's "Olympian" hostesses. After a brief conversation, the hostess would then gently usher the person towards the anteroom door behind the Podium.
Determined to make some "sense" out of this entire evening, Reggie moved slowly to a position which gave him a partial view into the anteroom as each hostess and her "charge" entered. As he had expected, the Episkopos was in the anteroom, greeting each of these "chosen" individuals. The greeting had a ceremonial air about it. Reggie could not hear the conversation, but the gist was obvious.
Malaclypse, smiling, would greet the individual with outstretched arms. Reggie assumed names were exchanged, and a few questions were asked and answered. Mal would then present the individual with a small bundle containing a small pamphlet with a lurid cover, what appeared to be a keycard, and a Pineal Amulet setting atop a white robe. Mal would then embrace the individual, kiss him or her soundly on the forehead, and convey a final "benediction".
Extrapolating the events, and reading Mal's lips, Reggie was relatively certain what that final benediction was:
"Welcome to Chapel Perilous!"
His old friend had sifted the "wheat from the chaff". Mal was recruiting either Crew or "Flock" for his new Ship of Fools. "Bloody Thud!"
Finally, the Episkopos gestured to two of the hostesses, and they returned to the main hall. With obvious reluctance, the hostesses approached two men wearing grubby, threadbare robes. Reggie vaguely recognized the men from somewhere in the dim past, but their names escaped him. He wondered if Mal was in the business of running a "rehab center" now as well...
Reggie finally shook his head and returned to his TAZ Brethren. He spent a few tense minutes convincing them (and himself..) that they should attend their granted "audience" in Room 27. Eventually they moved in a group towards the Geisha's shuttle bay.
"Room 27" turned out to be a suite of rooms, complete with all the amenities. One wall was completely transparent, with a stunning view down into one of the Freeport's "hanging garden" biodomes. Reggie raised an eyebrow at this, remembering that he had paid Shestov's bills for a full year. He would have to speak with the Adminstrator.
The conversations among the assembled TAZ members ceased as Mal strode into the room looking like he'd just returned from a fishing trip on Curacao, his robe replaced by the familiar garish "aloha" shirt and baggy shorts. Mal was accompanied by Lev Shestov, who immediately went behind his small bar and pulled out a dusky bottle of Reposado. He poured Mal a large glass as the Episkopos reached for a Canaria cheroot and set it ablaze.
Mal beckoned to the two men standing uncertainly at the door. They entered slowly, looking uncomfortable, but decidedly more presentable in clean new robes. Lev poured two more glasses of the aged agave nectar and guided the men to chairs off to one side.
Mal tossed down the Reposado with a visible shudder, and slowly turned to the seated and silent TAZ dignitaries. He bowed slightly to Ambassador Holiday, and threw an inscrutable wink towards Reginald Waverly. Refilling his glass, he headed for an empty overstuffed chair facing his former friends and "Flock".
"Thank you for coming, gentlemen!" He surveyed the assemblage with a smile before continuing.
"Now, I'm sure you all have a thousand and twenty three questions. I will do my best to answer them, and explain further when possible. Perhaps my responses will not be entirely to your satisfaction; but hopefully they will convince the good Doctor here not to sign an Order of Commitment!"
Mal puffed on his cheroot, and effortlessly blew a smoke ring which looked amazingly like the "Sacred Chao".
"Whenever you are ready, gentlemen. Please, try not to niggle me all at once."
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For the moment, Doc stood in silence with his bride at his side. Both sipped on a glass of Gallic Wine. For now, Doc decided to listen. He figured listening to what others would ask and weighing in on the answers would be best. Midori only briefly questioned his tactic but understood his explanation.
As it was, he was filled with uncertainty, not of Mal but of himself, especially after he spoke as he did. He showed no emotion but inside he began feeling as if he hadn't "lived up" to his job. Sure, he held a loose bunch of people together and kept the Temple Fund full but as for being a Discordian, he was lacking as compared to the man who built the temple himself. He was, after all, a Doctor and it was his love.
So for the moment, he stood and listened, figuring at some point his old friend would want to speak with him.
"Well that was something...", Rainus said as they were headed to the room. He motioned Professor Carlisle and Bannon to return to the ship or if they wanted, go to the Bear's Cave and have a drink. They were expected to herd all of the sheep inside the Chao's.Eyes before Rainus returned.
Rainus, seeing as nobody else wanted to ask something, went first. "Well, um... I will start then.", he pauses and smiles. He already knew what question to ask... but he seems to know the Espiskopos' answer already. He pulled from his robes a datapad... and went on asking like a reporter.
"neeb uoy evah erehW?"
, came out of Rainus mouth. The Pope then realized he was reading the question backwards.
"*coughs* Sorry about that.... let me rephrase: Where have you been?"
Mal was taken aback briefly by Saucisson's question. He had assumed that the TAZ's questions would be concerned with more recent events. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before replying.
"Nowhere exotic, I assure you, Brother Rainus. No interdimensional hopscotch or time travel...
"To be perfectly honest, I was experiencing a serious 'crisis of faith'. I chose to deal with it through isolation and introspection.
"For the most part, I was hiding 'in plain sight'. I spent a few months at Alan Kell's old 'lakebottom' refuge on Canaria." He looked sheepishly at Reggie. "Right in the Waverlys' back yard, so to speak. The dolphins remembered me."
Mal gestured in the direction of the bar. "Lev here has also given me 'refuge' more than a few times, and I owe him a great deal for that.
"I made a few trips to Gallia as well, trying to fathom the mystery behind that great brooding anomaly in Dauphine. I am still at a loss there.."
Mal looked at Doc Holliday, a mixture of love and sadness crossed his face at seeing his discomfiture. He owed the man a sincere apology and explanation, but now was not the right time.
"But mostly, I spent considerable time in your own 'north forty', John Henry. You would be amazed how little traffic there is out at the automated Scrubby Farms. In the six months I spent there studying the Scrubbies, I had to avoid one CRI Research team, and a sleepy technician who came out to adjust some valves.
"Eventually, I made a few trips to my Chamber in the Geode, but the place was 'empty'.. no sign or word from Our Lady, until just recently; about the same time Reggie offerred his reward for my useless hide.
"That pretty much brings us up to today, Brother Rainus."
Charlie took a sip from his glass and put it down on the table beside him. He wasn't quite sure if he was supposed to be a part of this little palaver, but if none of the Tazzies were going to ask it, then Charlie figured he might as well step up to the plate. He cleared his throat and began.
"We didn't get much of a chance to speak in that room back there, Mal, but at least the mystery of your whereabouts has been solved. About your speech, though... are you saying this isn't just about the Great Bitch anymore? I mean, hell, I get that it's all relative and metaphorical an' all... kind'a. But what, exactly, is this all about? What's your next move?"
Gaby was pretending to suffer from his broken arm to attract that beautiful girl's attention, telling her a riveting tell about him fighting dozens of nomads.
While talking, he pressed against her, as if someone pushed him, and moved his valid hand to "Ye know, just ensure ye don't have breast cancer or somethin'"
He was so busy he didn't notice the old bugger appearing and starting his sermon. He didn't notice his old friend Bannon, a man he had countless drinking sessions with.
Mal was doing his speech, drawing anyone's attention, and Gaby took advantage of this to take a closer look at the numerous ladies of the congregation.
He wasn't giving a golden fruit about the speech anyway, since it didn't involve either ladies or gallic wine...
~~~
The man in robe in the back of the large room noticed several popes joining the congregation and gave them an unobtrusive head signal. Many of them didn't seem to recognize him, which was only fair since he kept his hood on.
He then reported his attention to the man appearing and nodded, whispering to himself "There he is... What do you have in mind, Mal..."
He remained unmoved as the Episkopos was trying to shake the congregation minds by using simple questions.
Seeing no one was willing to answer, he stared at the Episkopos and whispered to himself "The real reality is there, but everything you know about 'it' is in your mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and you are the artist.... Starbuck's Pebble"
He took a look at the congregation, noticing some puzzled people. He then noticed many more were not giving a golden fruit about what Mal was saying. They were too stunned by his little tricks.
He whispered to himself once again "Don't they see he is using Chao Magic? The aura generated by his gnostic state can be seen from one mile i bet." He almost shook his head "Ah well..."
Mal told them to wake up and he moved his head again to check the congregation. He whispered again, noticing their confustion and their hostility "Funny... Is it Aneristic or Eristic illusion i notice in the crowd?"
He remained unmoved after the Episkopos disappeared, whispering once again to himself "Mal... Mal... you will never change..."
~~~
As Gaby was looking as the beautiful ladies in the congregation, he ran into Bannon. The man was smoking with delight. "Oh ye thar!" Gaby grinned and gave him a pat on his back, almost making his fall. "How are ye 'lad? Still wif 'dat boring Rainus Saucisson?"
He chuckled and then made his silly face "Now, did ye detect where are tha drinks coz i would like to have one glass o' too o' gallic wine"
Lev then went to talk to the popes and Gaby heard they were invited to some bar so he didn't ask anything and headed quickly there.
~~~
The man in robe left his position at the back of the large room and stepped not far from the popes, listening but not saying a word.
He then followed them after Reggie convinced the others to attend to that meeting with the Episkopos.
~~~
When the popes arrived there and faced Mal, Gaby ran to the bar and started to drink gallic wine like no tomorrow. He didn't pay much attention to Mal, just giving him a grin when he looked at him.
The man in robes kept is hood on and stepped in a corner of the room, staring at the Episkopos.
He noticed John didn't seem to be quite confident, and he nodded.
He then listened to Rainus and Mal, thinking "Typical, we always start by futility"
Seeing no one was willing to speak, he asked with a calm voice "I must say i'm quite surprised by your sermon, Malaclypse the Third" He stared at him from under his hood "It was very... Conventional" He then asked, his voice tinged with amusement "And what about all this magic... Was your purpose to afraid them... Or... Was it to impress them? You have changed Mal... But yet you remain the same"
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