Hellbound

[Blighter]

[font=Franklin Gothic Medium]
With heartbeat pounding I wake in fright, everyday just starts with panic,
[color=#FF1133]thoughts racing at the speed of light, like a message through some circuits inorganic.
Once I was what I should be, once I had a destiny.

Not today, I whisper quiet. Not tomorrow, I complain.
Shall I go and chase the lost, so when I die just doubts remain?
My heart cries out in agony, I sweat and shiver, hopelessly.

So what am I to do, what hope am I here to acquire,
in a place so vile and rotten I wish it were consumed by fire?
Mere doubts and echoes fill my mind as I'm waiting for a sign.

Again I rise from ashes cold, try to say one more goodbye,
deep down knowing all these words are just a lie.
Left alone amidst that sea of stars, wishing I could fade away.

Look around I tell myself, look and find just once salvation,
but all I see is doom and torment, myself surrounded by a world of desolation.
A reminder more than vile, the end of life still not well-nigh.

Another time just a shadow I become, seeking truth where all lies reign.
Each of them a dream but shattered, like that heart of mine in pain.
Once more I howl and raise my arms, I kill them all, let fire burn my broken soul.

And as I turn and watch dust settle, remorse is all that's left in me.
Death and chaos I create, make me wish I had no hope, killed myself so I'd be free.
Crushed dreams and bodies all-around, they make me cry without a sound.

Torn and sundered I then break, fall to knees, asking, begging those above,
not feeling hatred, grief or sorrow, just the pain that comes with love.
Why, why can't I end the pain and fire, just find the one I so require?

But even if I were to hear what those up high would have to say,
I merely fear, fear I couldn't comprehend, and so I kneel, as if to pray.
Help me before doom approaches, help me so I don't lose focus.

When nighttime beckons I get up, walk away as rain comes falling,
the mind knowing this day's lost when the rain drowns out my calling.
Everyday has the same trend, and that I deny to apprehend.

Echoes, whispers, in my mind there is no more, just that little touch of twilight,
all the memories of those I lost, fading as I hurry, like a coward taking flight.
I move on as wind now stirs, making ashes rise like birds.

I can't resist that final look, can't ignore what I have done,
so turn around, that's what I do, just to see that there's no one.
It's way too late to amend, no more chance to repent.

Eyes closed, my head held low, I continue, there's no emotion,
I just can't help being a monster, chasing that last hope, my only devotion.
And as the stars hide behind clouds, I tell myself they, they were all frauds.

What is it that I have become? Am I like Azrael of old, the angel of death?
Or am I just another demon, slaying men, as if just to hear them have their final breath?
I know not the answer, and there's no one to tell. Or am I supposed to answer myself?

As days go on, that same old story, I wander between friends and families both warring,
I am searching, hunting, praying, crying, I am begging and I'm calling.
And then I fall once more, collapse and break, this time with my sanity at stake.

Again the rain comes, again the wind stirs, but I can do it no more, I cannot stand,
I'm all alone here, left to die with all faith lost, another carcass to plague the land.
At first I weep, exhausted and tired, but then I'm held in the embrace of sleep.

No nightmares, no pain, no ghosts to haunt me, and as the sun rises, then so do I,
gazing around as light is shed, forcing me to see all the blood, now dry.
Yet I feel nothing. No more regrets. I should repent, recall my bets.

But I don't take flight, I merely walk, leisurely and slow, treading carefully on that barren soil,
I've lost it all, let go of dreams, broke all the chains, so no longer can I toil.
And then I see what cannot be, darkness stands where light should be.

A face, familiar and grown pale, like bones of all those whom I've slain,
That voice a whisper, soft and quiet, telling me the search was not in vain.
I stand unvanquished as she falls, but on her the times have taken heavy toll.

In my embrace she now rests, weak and fragile, with peace at last,
And then it all comes back to me, the whispers, my past.
Into that ghostly visage do I stare, the sun's former warmth an unholy glare.

All those years I've worried and wondered, searching for her, hoping I'd find her alive and well,
but this isn't a dream, and it's merely the truth that I should have searched not for a memory, but a ghost gone through hell.
I think not of happiness, nor of salvation, and I feel little joy, much less elation.

A long time has passed, and I know we've been through periods most dire,
but apart from this moment, what did we really acquire?
Pain and misery, plenty of both, too heavy those burdens to let us find rest.

Even though we're united, I still smell the blood, both on her hands and mine,
were we to hide, we would always have to fear. And were we to run? We'd not make it in time.
This world is too cruel, and we're but two shadows, condemned to suffer as we dangle from gallows.

For us there'll be no Aristeia, no moment of glory, and no legend to tell,
We cannot atone for all that we've done, we'll be burning in hell.
And now I can smile, knowing we'll be together when we fall, united against this world most vile.

So I wake her, carefully and gently, then slowly see her return the smile,
with her eyes now so old, tired yet peaceful, beautiful and not in denial.
We've waited so long, thinking we could undo all the things wrong.

No more will sorrow make us fall, and no more will we weep,
the pain that will come will be a blessing, taking us to that last bit of sleep.
Not like a fairytale, that way it won't end, but with chaos and fanfare, and our lives spent.

It's our time to die.

So listen up!

Angels and demons, heroes and cowards! - And all of you mothers whose children we've slain!
You rich and the poor, and all of you jinxed! - And everyone else whom we've managed to pain!
Behold as we ride, to eternity and death! - And remember that our lifes ain't given in vain!