Old Wounds

[Dane Summers]

A light rain was falling. The misted windows made a play of soothing white and grey color, while the patter of the rain echoed through it. Streaks of crystal colored rain reflected wane sunlight through it. Squinting, Dane could just barely see the lush green landscape beyond. He sat on the wide window sill, gazing at the misted glass, not really seeing it, too lost in his own thoughts.

The last few days had passed slowly - marked by the rise and fall of the sun, and the darkness in between. He couldn't remember when he was admitted, and the few people who had spoken to him had been vague in there answers. Periodically, a doctor would check on him. Dane never asked why he was here...even if he could say that he knew why, the truth was, he didn't really want to know. The days were soothing, and trying to figure out what was wrong with him, just brought every sense that he already knew. It was just a demon he didn't feel capable of fighting at the moment - but that battle was coming, and he knew it.

A light knock on the door, a few seconds before it opened, and in walked his day nurse - Sarah. She gave him a wide pleasant smile. "Anything you need Mr. Summers?" asking while she made his bed and carried out the few bits of refuse. He shook his head, and did his best to smile back - it didn't really come out well, but at least she recognized the effort. "Well, if you need anything, you know how to reach the nurses desk. Just try and get some rest." She smiled again, and departed, leaving the room in silence save for the rain.

He had a dated a girl named Sarah once. Although he wasn't so sure anymore. All his memories seemed to have lost focus, and become a jumble. Some seemed so real, but at the same time, were washed away by memories he knew to be the truth, no matter how much they hurt. Since the days he spent on Gran Canaria with Reggie Waverly, it had seemed like everything he had believed had come unglued....

A long time ago...a young boy found he couldn't sleep - something that plagued his for years. Space held the answer to his curse, and in the open arms of the stars, he found peace in his life.
But, if there's one thing that's true, is that if you keep telling yourself lies, you start to believe them.

The truth was...not so long ago, a young man found a perfect love. But he was too afraid to lose it, and the more he struggled to hold on to it, the more it withered away...in time, it faded completely, and unable to cope with losing it...Dane ran. He joined the navy to get far away, and when he found his way out, he just kept going - trying to put physical distance from terrible memories. The more he ran, the better it got...until finally it seemed his mind had convinced itself that terrible event never happened. Just a kid, enamored with space - able to sleep as long as he was moving - as long he knew he was getting farther away...

Years passed. It all went away. Something on Gran Canaria woke up those memories, and the months sense, everything he had held to be true gave way to heart ache and pain. Too many bad memories...seeing her smile, remembering the times when they planned their life together, remember her taste...then seeing that smile wane, and having to remember each word of every fight...wishing like hell you could take things back...knowing in your heart it was over, but trying so damn hard to rescue it...watching the future you had planned break apart...knowing that the one thing you had ever done right in your whole wretched life was gone...

Dane knew why he was here...
Something within him was broken, and had been for a long time. And so he sat here...in a hospital on Cambridge, light years away from friends, family...left in a white room...lost in the sound of the rain, and a million years worth of regret...

Whoever had brought him here had only brought one thing - his old guitar. A duffle bag full of hastily stuffed clothes, along with a few knick knacks - not the entirety of his possessions he noticed, but whether that was just because of haste, or the thought that he would return for them, it was unknown. But the guitar...it usually sat in McCools, unused. Without having any reason to play it, it had sat neglected. Right now, it was propped up in one of the chairs, untouched since he was brought here.

Dane walked slowly and picked it up - staring at it. He took a seat on his freshly made bed, and picked at the chords. It as still in tune, maybe only needing a small tightening here and there. Holding a few strings, he strummed a few notes, and the sound was loud next to the silence of the rain patter. Taking a deep breath...

Whenever I look back...on the best days of my life...I think I saw them on TV.
I am so homesick now for someone that I never knew...
I am so homesick for some place I will never be...

Time wont let me go~~~...Time wont let me go~~~...
...If I could do it all again...I'd changed everything...but time wont let me go...
...If I could go back once again...I would change everything, yeah
...If I could go back once again...I'd do it all so much better...

...But time wont let me go...

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