Thunderer's Stories Feedback

[Thunderer]

I have started using the Stories and Biographies forum not a long time ago.

Since then, I have written 2 stories:

1) Cum Igni et Tonitrui (Latin (people wondered why - most today's UK Royal Navy ships bare a motto, which is usually in Latin) - translation: With Fire and Thunder). It is still not finished;

2) Captain's Diary - Ahmed al Mustaffa - I've just started writing it.

I would appreciate some feedback. I just want to find out if people can understand my stories, if they are as funny/tense/heartbreaking as intended and if they have some important grammatical errors.

Feel free to tell me I'm a psychopath, an utter idiot, or that baker in your neighborhood, but only if you think like that because of the story!

Thank you in advance (except if you call me a psychopath, an utter idiot, etc)!

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