To the younger population

[Username removed]

I am on tramadol now so excuse me if my sentences don't make sense.

It has been a week since I quit.

After I finished my first post on day 1 I tried to sleep but it felt like every second was worse than before: I was twitching and turning the entire night, one moment I was freezing and second after I was boiling hot and having cold sweats, fever and terrible pain through my entire body but it was the chest and kidneys in particular that felt literally like they were being cooked from within, needles to say I could not close my eyes one second.

I do not recall how long I was in that state because the fever and the pain had disorientated me but I realized that I was looking through the window and I saw the sun was already up

I tried eating a cup of yoghurt to have something in my body, I threw it up.

I checked the clock and it was around 3 in the afternoon, I was being awake for more than 48 hours and realized I did not urinate at all during this time, I did not feel thirsty or hungry at all but I knew I was severely dehydrated because I didn't drink anything or eaten anything at all since day 1 so I went ahead and tried to grab my self a glass of orange juice, I thrown that up as-well.

I do not recall anything else from day 2.

Day 3:

This must have been the worst.

I recall being force fed yoghurt by my mother, she told me she went to check on me and found me lying on the ground and was not responding to her signals. I was almost passed out from exhaustion she says, haven't had any food or liquid at all in 3 days and body going crazy after the drug.

I could not manage my cravings anymore so I started popping tramadols to ease off the withdrawals.

It helped a little bit.

The peak was at day 3 when I couldn't do it anymore without opiates.

Day 4:

Was as bad as day 3 but has become slightly manageable in the night, I could actually eat yoghurt and drink, my first provisions in over 4 days.

Still, I could not eat anything more than a cup of yoghurt before throwing up but was better than nothing.

In all this time, I had no sleep unless I was taking tramadol, maybe slept 3-4 maybe 5 hours in total, I completely lost track of time because of how disorientated I was.

I could not tell if it was day 2 or 3 or 4 or 5, I could not tell if it was early or late other than looking through the window.

I have been like this until yesterday when the withdrawal became less and I could eat for the first time a cup of yoghurt, a boiled egg and some cold polenta, for some reason I could only take it cold food.

Today is 1:10 in the morning at the moment I am writing this, currently am coughing the drugs out of my lungs.

My lungs are throwing them up after a period of not taking anymore, cough syrup does not help at all, and I cannot sleep until I take tramadol again.

Currently I have extreme pain in my back, kidneys, lever and lungs/chest,

Mental and physical withdrawals are less now but the cravings have gotten worse, if not for tramdol I fear I may relapse.

I do not know how long withdrawals will last, I did not leave my house for a week because I am afraid that I will go buy more drugs if I do so I will stay indoors one more week until I think I can manage it.

I will wait until I am confident I will not relapse and then make an appointment to a dentist to see what can be done about my teeth.

I will not bother trying to get my teeth fixed if I will destroy them again with drugs.

Other psychical sings of drug abuse start to fade slowly, skin is healing, lips are still parched but less visible than before.

My bones still hurt but not so much.

Moral of the story: Do not do drugs, ever. Not even once. Do not experiment with them because you will become like me if you do and you may not be able to stop. Maybe I will relapse as-well because cravings are enormous and getting worse. Do not follow my example, be good and say "no" to drugs.