Tales of the Admins

[Garrett Jax]

From the reality known as Real Life:

Bob, otherwise known as Garrett Jax in the Disco dimension, tore himself away from Fallout Shelter, and tried to peer into the Disco realm to check how the Community was faring. It was difficult staying away completely from this reality due to the heroin gas the Admins pumped into the Server air daily. Even the Admins themselves were not immune.

He had to wait an extra five seconds for the Disco realm to come into focus. Another DDoS attack?

Who got banned this time?

He searched through the Wall of Shame, looking at the names on the list of recent rule violators. Maybe one of these individuals were responsible for the attack. He scanned each violation report carefully, looking for anyone whose name might pop up as a suspect, but not one of them seemed likely.

Then, he remembered the two banned brothers who tried to Skype call him at 2:00 in the morning the last couple nights. What were their names again? Mildhammer and Wort? Something close to that.

According to them, they were not going to be his friend anymore unless he unbanned them. Bob couldn't recall a time when he laughed so loud. After sharing this gem with his wife and kids, drawing mocking laughter from them as well, he promptly blocked the two from his Skype and immediately forgot about them.

Maybe they took offense. He shrugged, not bothering to drum up the effort to care.

Then he started thinking about what type of sad individual it took to actually DDoS attack a ten year old game. Who do you brag to about that? He wondered if that was a real achievement in hacking circles. Bob guessed that if the guy ever mentioned it to some real hackers, they would immediately begin a round of vicious female-dog-slapping until he came up with a real accomplishment. The saddest part was the attack was hardly noticeable and easily circumvented.

As his thoughts continued, he started to feel sorry for the poor hacker wannabe. He likely just wanted to be successful in life and couldn't bother putting forth the effort, or was too diminished intellectually to be capable of meeting the simplest of goals. He imagined the poor sod got put down a lot by his peers who had become more accomplished in life and finally turned to the more accepting culture of hackers and cheats. But, this failed attempt to disrupt a ten year old, minimally protected game, would only bring him scorn and ridicule amongst these low level citizens he desperately wanted to impress.

Bob was legitimately worried for the poor guy. But what could he do to help? Maybe start up a Hug a Hacker campaign? Maybe collect some funds to provide the guy with some real hacker training? Do they even have universities for that? He found himself wanting to reach out and give the guy some real assistance, but after a few seconds the feeling passed and he went back to playing Fallout Shelter.

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