[101st] Feedback/Recruitment

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[101st] Feedback/Recruitment

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WesternPeregrine

07-09-2016, 01:24 AM, (This post was last modified: 07-09-2016, 01:25 AM by WesternPeregrine.)

#18

Kusari Vanguard

Posts: 2,311
Threads: 166
Joined: Oct 2013

In the faction info, there is an unusual use of terms "entitled" (1st paragraph) "titled" (4th ph) and "signed" (1st paragraph) , instead of more context pertinent "christened" or "named".

(12-16-2015, 09:11 PM)GID Wrote: - it managed to accelerate a probe, along with a 500-meter-wide coring of the cloud,

I guess "a 500 meter wide section of the cloud" would fit better.

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Guess those were the few I could spot.
As for the content, I understand some of the history and context with events of Omicron-85 but other than that, the roles and areas of interest of the faction elude me. Either the text needs to be reviewed to become clearer, or a separate explanation may need to be provided.

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Messages In This Thread

[101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 01-22-2016, 08:15 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by HassLHoFF™ - 01-23-2016, 06:45 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Findarato Veneanar - 01-23-2016, 07:13 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 01-23-2016, 05:56 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by The Savage - 01-23-2016, 06:02 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 01-23-2016, 06:19 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Wesker - 01-25-2016, 06:04 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 01-25-2016, 08:13 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Lythrilux - 01-25-2016, 08:21 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 01-26-2016, 10:47 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 02-19-2016, 01:28 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 06-26-2016, 03:09 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 07-05-2016, 02:27 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 07-06-2016, 11:33 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Black Widow - 07-06-2016, 02:19 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 07-07-2016, 07:45 PM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 07-09-2016, 12:56 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by WesternPeregrine - 07-09-2016, 01:24 AM

RE: [101st] Feedback/Recruitment - by Divine - 07-09-2016, 01:56 AM

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