Cara Kendall - Feedback Thread

[Shaggy]

Feedback Thread

I am opening up this feedback thread to get feedback on my character story, that I am enjoying so far. This is the "Introduction" I have written up for her, but im sure it will change as the roleplay continues.

Introduction

Cara Kendall, was just a young civilian pilot who was born on Gran Canaria. She was not a very popular person, always in trouble, fighting, causing problems to other teenagers throughout school. Through out her journey as a teenager she became homeless and was kicked out of her home by her parents. Months went past of living on the streets where a strange unknown figure walked up to her and gave her freedom in her eyes. Made her have faith and hope with her future.

The unknown male became a father figure and role model to Cara, training, teaching and schooling her on ways to survive as a lone wolf, becoming an ultimate solider on the ground. The two together where a force not many people would stand in the way of. This male was a mercenary for the government of Bretonia. He had years of money saved up to do something adventurous. For Cara though, her role model was killed on a mission, a highly paid mission at that, and his will was to leave all his money, training camp and everything to Cara.

Cara's dream became her reality, she followed the footsteps of the savior of hers. His dream was to become a fighter pilot in the Omega sector of Sirius to be fighting for the right course. The only thing he struggled with was the funding of such dream. But lucky for Cara, there was enough money left to allow her to purchase her very own small light fighter from the dry docks.

Putting all the money that was left to her, she started putting alot of it into upgrades, and training to become a fully qualified basic flight and fighter graduate. This allowed her the access to become a mercenary just like her father figure. This was a big step for Cara, not knowing what was out there and there will be alot to experience. This was going to change her life forever.

After a few months, enough money was made by Cara to go to the bar of Gran Canaria where there was news and reports of the Coalition and the Reapers of Sirius, with a war going on in this sector. This made Cara interested and knew there was going to be money involved. She knew she wanted to be apart of it and fight for the right cause.

Weeks later Cara signed up and applied to join the Fallen Angels where she became a Braillian Raider. The original role of a Braillian Raider was to attack Coalition and Red Hessian forces within the Omega sector. These Raiders where very aggressive towards and hostiles and they barely resemble the old Reapers. This was what Cara wanted and she later then was accepted after training.

A distress signal was sent out to all near by Braillian Raiders to go to the Omega sector where a near by bomber pilot was under heavy fire. The mission was a huge success, where later a meeting was made with Sirius Alliance, then later on Cara was promoted to Angel making her a full Braillian Raider. Not too many weeks later Cara started seeing visions of the K'Hara and Nomads attacking Freeport 11 in Omicron Delta. Her visions where right, an attack was done where she left the Fallen Angel to find Jared Nomak of the Commune to find help on her visions.

As time goes on I will keep adding, stories, threads and communication threads for this character here so it is easier to access, people can have a read through.

I am willing to accept both negative, and positive feedback, but mostly I would prefer constructive and helpful feedback. I have never gone to this state before trying to roleplay character. I have done a attempt before which I feel has failed compared to this one.

Archive

Fallen Angels Recruitment
Fallen Angels Message Relay
To: Jared Nomak
Meeting with Nomak
To: Jared Nomak ~ Getting back intouch